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Wife and me were talking about crossdressing one day...

15 Posts
12 Users
45 Reactions
590 Views
Posts: 370
Lady
Topic starter
(@sf)
Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi all.  Last week the wife and I were talking about my crossdressing.  We are able - thank goodness - to discuss crossdressing in a calm manner, not fighting or arguing, and it is better that way.  I would rather her know than find out some other way.  But, and there is aways a big but, she really does not like the fact that I crossdress.  She is tolerant but not really supportive at all.  Because of her hesitation to accept my dressing I try and be sensitive to her feelings and do not get to dress much at all.  But when I do dress I enjoy it immensely.  

Last week she asked me if we were to separate (and hopefully that will NEVER happen), or even worse pre decease me would I continue to crossdress?  When she asked, before I could answer she began to laugh and said I know you would, you would go all out, wigs, bras makeup the works.  I started to laugh too, hugged her and said yes sweetheart you are correct, I would dress much more than I do now.   Then she said that I could not wear her clothes, I told her that most would not fit me anyway, but that she did have a few things that I would use.  We both laughed and hugged, it was a fun time being open with my spouse.  

Even tho I don't get to dress as much as I would like too, I am so grateful to have her with me and be able to convey my thoughts and feeling in an open manner.  

She is a great gal.....  I hope that all of you out "there" have fun and enjoy your crossdressing however you go about it.  

Smile, Staci...

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14 Replies
3 Replies
Lady
(@samanthah)
Joined: 1 year ago

Trusted Member     Reno, Nevada, United States of America
Posts: 33

@sf 

It’s way better than nothing, I’ve noticed in my two marriages both wives were really not into it, but two pretty long relationships with two gf’s it was fantastic they both had me dressing all the time, I loved it even taken me out in public.

hugs

Samantha

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Lady
(@meganfachs)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member     Central Ohio, Ohio, United States of America
Posts: 98

@sf Hugs!

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Lady
(@franceskay)
Joined: 6 years ago

Eminent Member     Alabama, United States of America
Posts: 29

Treasure this lady.  She is special 

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Posts: 1067
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I very glad that you had the opportunity to have this conversation, not only without any tension, but in fact with some relief of tension! I think that most spouses/SOs are opposed because they don't understand it. It can be difficult especially when so many of us don't fully understand exactly what it means to us or what our motivations are.

Any work you can do to help yourself find those kinds of answers will likely give her some peace of mind as well. Best of luck!

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Posts: 370
Lady
Topic starter
(@sf)
Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

I discovered a long time ago that communication with your spouse, no matter how difficult or pleasant, is very important in a healthy relationship.  We tell each other everything and that works fine for us.  Staci...

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

This is the type of conversation more of us should have. I find it really sad, but understandable, that so many have to hide their dressing from the most important people in their life. I can understand a SO not liking our dressing, but that should not prevent us from being honest about it. I would hope we all could get to at least a DADT situation. If you could be most open and honest I feel many more, if not most, would accept our dressing even if not actively supporting it. I think a surprising number would actively support it giving enough time to come to an understanding.

My wife has always been fine with what ever level of dressing I have done. She would be just as happy if I did not dress, as she is mostly indifferent to it, but she knows I enjoy it, and she enjoys me being happy so she goes along with it and participates to some degree and has never complained .

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2 Replies
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@jjandme My SO seems to be similar im having trouble navigating it. she says nothing.  I pry to get some reaction but nope. I have tried to get her to get involved but I get no feedback. For me usually thats a bad thing if you cant say something nice yada yada... how can she just be indifferent about something like this. hard for me to understand im the emotional one lol. but she does not seem to care either way. Im not sure how to take that.  Cheers RC

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

@river The absence of feedback is always difficult, including other topics, too.

When I ask for feedback on-line in another field and nobody responds, I am left in limbo having no idea what others really think. That kind of missing data is useless to me and I am terrible at reading the minds of others.

I feel for you, River.

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Posts: 3439
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

I am so happy for you Staci. It is always warming to read of successes with partners. You are one lucky girl.

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Posts: 364
Duchess
(@shadowqueen)
Reputable Member     Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Staci, it seems to be so much better to be honest with your wife or at least it was for me.

hugs

AnnaBeth

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Posts: 8
Significant Other
(@harper99)
Active Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

As a gg and so, I hope that all of you can realize how difficult this is for us.  We do not understand nor endorse this activity but we love the man that we married.  I hope that you understand how difficult this is for us and do not take advantage nor manipulate this.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@sf)
Joined: 3 years ago

Prominent Member     SoCal, California, United States of America
Posts: 370

@harper99 I understand completely.  My wife has told me that my dressing is extremely difficult for her and I try and respect that.  Fortunately we are able to communicate our feelings to each other in a loving way.  I much appreciate her understanding of my feelings and desires as well.  Staci...

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Posts: 314
Duchess
(@elguapo)
Reputable Member     The Villages, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

I am in a similar situation Staci. Wife accepts but is not supportive. She does not like Elaine so I try not to overdo it. We don't talk about crossdressing, just a passing comment, not a real deep and greatly needed conversation.

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

We can not force our spouse to accept this part of us any more than our spouse can make us stop something that is just part of us.  What we can do is find a mutually agreed-upon compromise. After all, this is what marriage (or any relationship) is about. We can't have everything our way any more than our spouse can have it their way.

My wife absolutely loves gardening and while I have no objections to it, I don't want to spend all my free in the garden as she does. I help around the garden at times, but she does not expect me to be there all the time like she is. We make it work, just as we do with dressing. I have my time dressing when I wish, and a more limited amount of time dressed together, and it works just fine.

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