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Hello everyone.
As I continue to try and understand my emotions and feelings around dressing, I’m very curious to get other opinions and perspectives which really help me to gain a better understanding of why I feel the way I do and more importantly, is it in line with “normal (I hate that word) dressing and behaving.
ok…here goes (I indicated it was scary for me to open up with my first post…I’m actually terrified opening up even further…sigh, sigh, sigh). My personal presence with my clothes is more “girlish” than “womanish”. In my original post I admitted loving and being obsessed with pink over other colors. The many things I own lend themselves to a younger look with frills, cute designs and a more ?innocent? style.
In the crossdressing community, is this so strange or contrary to how most of how everyone likes to dress? Or is it “ok” to just dress in whatever style or perspective regardless of the age-group of clothing? (OK, pulse racing now…I’ve NEVER gone this far with my dressing emotions).
While my spouse knows of my love for panties (and also knows I wear them every day and tolerates it), I have to keep my other clothes put away until I have an opportunity to dress. I’ve tried to introduce something here or there to wear but because they’re more girlish it’s always been looked on with confusion and disappointment. She’s intimated she’s uncomfortable because of my preferences which is another reason I’m confused as to the “normalcy” (theres that word again).
Anyway, I would absolutely love to hear from others how they feel about this and if there are others that also like a girlish style rather than a woman’s.
ANY comments, ideas, perspectives, etc are sooooooo very welcome. It’s so wonderful to have a forum to talk about this (even if confessions like these almost make me pass out from admitting everything).
Love to all.
Pamela
@pamelahollister Hi Pam, know how you feel I was shaking with fear the first time I joined her and posted pictures of me as Lizzy but feel more comfertable doing so now thanks to the positive vibes from the fab girls on here. My top tip is wear whatever makes you feel good and feel free to try different styles and looks and find one that suits you.
@pamelahollister wear what you love. My own preference is an A-line dress at home or a T-dress if I am out.
Hugs,
Anna xx
@pamelahollister Pam, there is absolutely only one list of clothes that true CDs should wear, and I'm going to share it with you:
1. Whatever
2. You
3. Want
Luckily, this isn't a club that requires a particular dress code. You get to choose your own! I'm proud of you for reaching out and being willing to share; that will only get easier.
Personally, I prefer a more womanly, blend-in style. A-line dresses (as someone already mentioned), fitted tops, jeans, etc.
Happy dressing!
@pamelahollister I was very nervous about posting here as well, but I’m starting to feel more comfortable. I have noticed that as i age my style has changed somewhat, I used to dress very provocative when I was younger but have started to dress more conservative lately, I guess it’s because I just don’t feel confident pulling off those outfits anymore. I still have a more gothic style that I like, but have toned it down somewhat.
Still have the slutty ones though 😉😆
@pamelahollister Hi, Pamela, I agree wear what you want, what makes you feel good. But if you are going out and want to blend in, then you should try wearing what most women are wearing in the situation you are going to be in.
I know most of us would rather wear a dress when out shopping, but most women a dressed very casual. My favorite day is Sunday, I see a lot of women go out shopping after Church, wearing a nice dress. SO I Do TOO, easier for me since I am wearing a dress to my Church and go out to eat with family or go shopping as Cassie.
Cassie
Firstly, give yourself a pat on the back.
Secondly, can you hear that? It's the sound of us giving you a round of applause for acknowledging your fears and going ahead anyway 👏👏👏.
Loads of us have felt the same way about joining but be assured, you are among like-minded sisters here. you can share with us safely.
Style is an entirely personal thing, as it should be. We wear what makes us feel good (and if it looks good, that's a bonus 😊).
As the other girls have said, if you plan to go out in public, dress to blend in. Or don't if you want attention, it's as simple as that. Don't forget comfort though! For my first outing in public, I chose shoes that I love and have worn at home. Big difference wearing them for hours and walking a distance in them 😱. Next time I'll have shoes that I know are comfortable.
Now you know why it takes some women so long to get ready and why they can spend hours trying to decide what to wear. As my own crossdressing has developed, my respect for the trouble women go to has increased exponentially!
We do this because we enjoy it. Enjoy finding your own style 😊.
Allie x
@pamelahollister hmmm Pamela, that's a thoughtful question. I've always gravitated more to girlish styles, colors, prints & fashions but am now more "matronly". It more closely matches my age and still feels wonderful inside & out. Think Tea dresses, patent leather 2" pumps & cotton house dresses / gowns when cold.
@pamelahollister A hug for having the courage to post on here.
Wear what you like, express the true you.
When I first started dressing, at home, I trended towards a younger style, sexy, bad girlish look. I was dying to open the conversation with my wife. She saw me dress a few tines and didn't understand it.
Two things that bothered her at first... 1) me borrowing her clothes and 2) me dressing a bit slutty.
On 1), she didn't appreciate my desire to be practical and not waste money on clothes I'd never wear out anywhere. She despised seeing me in her clothes, me stretching them, and maybe was repelled to wear clothes I had worn. I took this to mean that I should buy my own clothes. I never turned back.
On 2), she thought that I was was wanting to dress like women I might be more interested in than her. It was just a phase for me, my 20ish year old girl look. Each year I dressed, I aged years in my fashion sense. I still like a bit of a slutty look for fun. For going out, even casual shopping, I like a classy look that's a bit androgynous, womanly. Just dressing is enough sexy for me.
Hi Pamela,
I think the consensus here is wear what pleases you!
Personally I always loved Pink and still do. I prefer dresses and skirts over pants and shorts. I absolutely love mini skirts. Which I have in Hot Pink and my goto black mini.
Thanks for posting and it gets easier to reach out with your feminine side as time goes on.
Fran 🥰
@pamelahollister Feel completely free to discuss or ask anything here. Please, don't hold back. This is how we grow, right?
Because there is some resistance from your wife to you wearing "girly" things, assess what kind of compromise you can make between your desire for being girly vs still wearing women's clothes, just not so inflammatory. You really don't want to tick off your mate, right? Tone it down and do more crossdressing. That was an easy choice, for me.
As for style, tonight I chose a really short miniskirt that I had never worn since I bought it months ago. Uh, really short. Just to get an impression of what it would look like and feel like. Impractical? You bet. Younger fashion than my age? You bet. Sexy, shows off my hairless legs? You bet. Should I wear this to go shopping? Uh, really short.
I redressed to go out and make a quick run to pick up some things for supper. After supper I put my miniskirt back on for a night of on-line gaming. My wife didn't notice what I was wearing until she was ready to crash for the night. When she saw the miniskirt for her first time, too, she said, "you're weird". Uh, really short.
Have fun dressing in any way that makes you happy, within your limits.
@pamelahollister Pam, I know how you feel. I was always hesitant to post anything here for fear of being judged or of unknowingly offending someone. But as time goes on, I realize that we are all sisters. Some are out-spoken, some are less sure of themselves. Some dress this way, some dress the other way. It’s who you are, not what you wear that matters. Enjoy your time here being you, sharing your feelings and your unique style. I think you will quickly come to realize that we are all on this journey with you and that CDH is a place where all are welcome to relax and exist as their inner woman whenever and however they choose. Thanks for sharing! We hope we see and hear from you again soon! Hugs!
@pamelahollister Everyone has their own preferences and style. Personally I love pink, and anyone, any age can wear it but the shade is the key. Bubble gum pink is very girly, while a more pastel pink is just feminine.
What you like to wear is up to you. I remember once I had a thing for ankle socks with lace tops and I'd wear them over my stockings with my strappy stiletto sandals and I thought it was the sexiest look ever. Now I wouldn't think of wearing that. We change over time. Some prefer to dress in certain styles, it's their thing. I knew a girl that loved to dress as a little girl. She had these lovely dresses with the poufy slips and wore a bow in her hair. She loved to look like she was 9 and she did. It was her thing.
Then I knew a girl who was 25 and loved to wear grey wigs and dress like she was 65. Another thought she was a ballerina and wore a pink tutu and tights with her hair in pigtails.
Not everyone wants to be average (like me) and we all have things we love to wear, things that make us feel special. Do you. Don't do someone else.
@pamelahollister Hey Pamela, that is an awesome question.
I am a woman all the way. My attire is "go to the office" primarily, and "go out on a date".
Pamela, I will never be the prettiest girl in the room, but I can be, and aspire to be, the best dressed woman in the room.
The only reason Macy's is still in business is me.
Pamela, feel free to PM me if want to talk more. My new motto is "own the room".
Christine
@pamelahollister I love girlish styles and have a number of outfits that I wear at home, unfortunately my wife always points out that I'm way too old to be wearing those miniskirts, croptops and short shorts. Oh well, I still enjoy looking young and sexy as long as I don't look to close at all those lines and wrinkles. Enjoy what you want when you want as long as it doesn't hurt you or anyone else.
Lacy
@pamelahollister i so get this. I was terrified at first to. And i never went out dressed! I did nailpolish irl last week and it was terrifing for me. But in private i dont dress girly, i dress full on queen. Have you ever tried that? You might find out things about preferences, your style and even your yourself.
@pamelahollister Hello Pam! I feel you're doing very well at coming out to us here and working through your nervousness and fears! That's quite a step! And I hope you can see it as a step of growth. I was very hesitant to join here and give out my feelings and small bits of information about myself too. But now, that was 8 years ago! It's really good to be here!
But anyway, congratulations on getting to this point! We're glad you're here!
Like others have said, dress like you want! Dressing like you want is what makes you happy and feel good! So just do that. What ever style you like to dress in is normal. There is such a wide variety of dressing among us, that there is no one particular type or style that is "the" normal! There are a lot of people that dress similar to your style. Just as others prefer the secretary style or goth style. A lot of times the style of dressing that someone likes today is different than what they liked 2 years ago. My dressing style has evolved over the years and yours may also. It's a natural progression. I know you'll find a lot of good information here along with encouragement and support and you can develop friendships too!
Concerning your wife, go cautiously! It sounds like you have a wonderful wife and she is trying to process this idea of a new side of you, which is a huge undertaking! More than you know! And, some people look at us as abnormal, period! And they don't accept it. I'm not saying your wife is like that, but just be aware. There are books that can help her gain some understanding as to what is going on with you, which can help her decide to stay by your side, as I'm sure you would want! Since she seems to be kind of ok with you so far, you'll need to watch for any little sign that she is more accepting or not. And don't push it unless you know it will be ok. Trying to talk it out was the biggest help for me and my wife of 30 years. Good communication is the key!
So, Pam, I hope this has been some form of help. Please don't hesitate to ask more questions or talk a bit more about your ideas or feelings. You'll probably stir up a lot of answers. Thank you for being here and I wish you the best with what you're doing! Take care! Steffanie
@pamelahollister I think you appear to dress well. Most has been said and agree with all as some great advice and acceptance. I know I love to dress in outfits that perhaps when I get around to a makeover I might have some advice as well to give me a clue about my look I want. We all are here to not judge but help.
Hey Pam. Firstly well done you girl for opening up a little. I mean that's what this place is for really. And it's so empowering isn't it hun? I think you'll get two responses to your post. One, is that cis women wear an enormous range of styles, and why should we be any different? And two, you should absolutely wear what makes you feel happy. There's no right or wrong. The girls here have as many styles as the outside world. Perhaps some of them will share their preferred look so you can get an idea of the variety.
From my point of view, I'm similar to you. I want to be as girly as possible, so pink and frilly is great. Love a floral dress. I mean if I were to go out in public I'd be keen to blend in. Just a nice knee length dress and kitten heels maybe. But at home (I currently have no opportunity but that's a story I've told here too many times 😂) I'd be wearing pretty much the clothes you're describing. Bottom line, wear what makes you feel good and just enjoy it. No need to fret.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
Hi Pam. You’ve come to the right place to share your passion for crossdressing. I know I started out like you did, afraid to accept a friendship request, afraid to answer a private message too. And here I am today happy that I found this wonderful place. They said I’d make lots of friends, and I thought, no way, but it’s true, I really love some of my sisters here on this site, and I know you will too. I look forward to getting to know you better.
You need to live your dressing life as you, so if that means girlish outfits by all means wear them. That's perfectly normal for you. Some CD's like "girlish" outfits, others like a more womanly look. Everybody's needs and desires are different.
Hi Pam as these other ladies have said wear what you feel like as the woman or Girlish .. And ok here it goes remember the statement( pretty in pink ) it was made for you girl just believe in your self and enjoy yourself and hope someday your spouse will help and enjoy the girlfriend company you can provide ..
Stephanie
What is normal these days. It's whatever makes you feel good and comfortable.
From my perspective I dabbled in a lot of styles until finding what suited me the best. I will dress in fun styles for fancy dress or parties where I can dabble in fun dressing.
For here it doesn't matter how you dress it's because you do so enter this new normal and have no worries.
It is whatever you feel comfortable with that fits in with what you are doing and where you are doing it.
If you want to stay at home and get your rocks off by dressing like a slut, a mistress, a school girl, et al., then that's fine. However, if you want to go out in public and stay well under the radar of other people, it's probably not so fine. So it really depends on what you get from cross-dressing and where you want to do it.
The important thing is to make sure that whatever you do, you are happy doing it.
Becca
agree with the lady’s be yourself and what you like if your only staying in my outfits at not normal probably the same as what your saying if I ever adventure out I definitely have to buy some outfits to blend in like a women but as of know I enjoy my own fashion and that’s all that matters
While I tend to dress more maturely, especially when outdoors, I will sometimes dress a bit younger, or in less main stream outfits inside, or on Halloween. That doesn't mean it has to be pink, either. But these times are for me, so I'm less concerned about how I appear.
Wear what makes you feel good, you've taken a big step by opening up but you have a community here to support you. I'm thankful for this community in helping me accept my true self. I just wish I found this community sooner.
Andrialynn xx
Women seem to be very criticle of others who they think are dressing inappropriately. Too slutty, too young, too old, too short or too tight etc. etc will most likely not be liked. Everyone likes a good looking woman, yes even GG. Knowing this, i have a tendency to wear things that are younger but not 20s or 30s. Knowing if you have the body or look to pull it off,is the issue.
I think that some of us who were deprived of being a 20 something female, try to hard to re-live that period now in later years. Even GG try to do this.
However some things are just fun to wear, knowing where to wear them seems to be the key.
Pam -
As others have said you're in the right place to ask any questions you need answers for. We've all been where you are at some point. The longer you are here the more comfortable you will become.
As to how to dress, that is entirely up to you. You do you. I only dress at home so I have a bit more latitude than those who go out. There are times I am home alone and dress a bit provocatively and there are times that Suzanne is invited over by my wife and I dress like a woman. Most of the time I dress during my morning quiet time as a mature housewife (dress or skirt/blouse with bra and panties - in cooler months pantyhose or tights). There are times I underdress in panties when I go out. I also have some ankle boots that look like male cowboy boots that I've worn out. I have y ears pierced so wear earrings 24/7, usually studs or hoops but I have worn dangling ones out at times.
Bottom line do what you are comfortable with, you'll figure it out. As a tip shop at thrift stores. They are less expensive and have a wide range of outfits to try. If you get something that doesn't fit or you don't kike you could always donate it back and not be out a to of money.
Good luck and have fun.
XOXO
Suzanne
I think for many of us, we were just drawn to the clothes of the very young simply because we may never have gotten to wear them at that age. Its kind of like reliving your youth. Once i got that satisfied it was only natural to evolve to more mature type of dress.
Everyone likes to see a well dressed attractive woman. Normally women are my biggest ally. Just don't push the slutty factor. The don't like it out in public. However in your own home, do what makes you happy.
