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Many of us have thought about it. What if we could just stop hiding. What if we could go out there. What if we could be ourselves.
Without hiding. Without feeling that dressing is a burden or a risk or an insecurity that might take everything with it.
Would we have more energy and motivation to deal with other challenges in life. Or would our perspective change and be faced with many new challenges. Would we want to see the truth of our lives as CDs and how everything and everyone reacts.
If only we could see what it was like, just as an experiment, then rewind life back and continue on. If only.
We can wonder.
@lea-jhene Great points Lea, sometimes I like the risk aspect to crossdressing... Maybe that's just me?
I definitely think the crash from being caught by a nefarious colleague would be a major bummer.
@halloweenconvert7 The fallout where I work is probably the number one reason I’m not a lot more public about my cross dressing.
It would be bad. Very bad.
I agree with you on the risk aspect. During both of my marriages, I had to sneak around a lot and it was always exciting. Now that I don’t have to hide it anymore it’s different. Not bad, but definitely different.
@halloweenconvert7
You have told a true that fit with me, I don't bother me being caught by someone supportive and open minded, for me that would be a relief, express all that I have with me to someone who can understand you an drive you a hand , what a wonderful feeling!!!! ❤️ ❤️ But being caught by the wrong person???? , ughh!!!
@halloweenconvert7 That part is scary. I almost had that happen to me. I was in guy mode, wearing heels, at a thrift store near my work, looking at the discount rack on the sidewalk, when I saw a colleague. He didn't notice me, he too was browsing. I wondered for at least a week if he saw me.
@halloweenconvert7 The excitement, thrill, not an ordinary day is something I like too.
Sometimes, I like the "yeah, I like to dress like this" aspect to raise awareness (or shock) when I'm out in public.
Sometimes, I like the "remember, I'm still a CD side" with my wife in letting her see my things left out.
Sometimes, I like the "So what" aspect.
@lea-jhene Hey Lea, That's very bold of you (in a good way)! I would love to find a girlfriend and ultimately a wife that I could cross dress with and get to the "remember, I'm still a CD side" Have a great day and enjoy raising awareness!
@lea-jhene A nice thought, but you'd have to be very confident to do it. I don't really think that I have a burden.
Personally, I see dressing as total "me" time which I'm happy to spend in my own space with the occasional trip out.
Anna x
@lea-jhene Well for me I’m out to my wife and a few others which I will say makes things so much better with the fact of hiding my femme things and the ability to dress pretty much anytime I want as long as kids aren’t home. But for as far as being able to dress anytime , anywhere without any repercussions from society would be nice to experience.
@lea-jhene it is possible in some sense. Plan a trip, perhaps even an extended stay in a different community and get out there. then, if you enjoy the experience you can consider coming out to those near you.
Lea, I had to hide everything for many years. After becoming a widower many years ago and with no family likely to show up unannounced. I still hid my girly things every time I undressed! Out of habit I suppose. But then after a while when I decided to spend days, and then a week completely en femme I began to be more comfortable with having my pretty clothes hung in the closet, shoes organized on the floor in my closet under the dresses, a bra and panty drawer, and my makeup and skin care products sitting out and easily accessible. Those little changes made being a girl much more fun!😉😊😘
@lea-jhene I know the hiding is exciting, but actually I much prefer being a woman without the hiding. I love that I am out to my wife (and that she is supportive). I really enjoy living (at least when at home) as a woman, it is so relaxing and I feel comforted and content. Maybe it’s just age, but I do prefer being ‘out’. Next stop is to venture outside and maybe even come out to some friends.
Hugs Christine
I sure wish there was a rewind button for a lot of decisions I’ve made in my life lol. Comically, I immediately thought of the character Q in the Star Trek series appearing in your life and offering you something like this lol. I’m sure it would come with a catch it always does lol
I’ve seriously thought about a lot of things regarding coming out publicly, but I understand that it would come with a cost. For me it’s not really that big of a deal being my partner is totally OK with it and most of my Immediate family knows. I don’t really have any desire to live as a woman either.
Getting around the negative fallout that is sure to happen where I work would be a mountain to climb to say the least. I’m definitely not ready to go there. Yet lol.
But if there could be a preview feature, I would be interested in seeing how it played out as long as I wasn’t locked into it lol
I don't hide, but I do not go oit of my way to be known either. I go "out there" and life is just fine. Yes, confidence is key. It also deoends on what you want as a person who dresses en femme. I have no desire to dress full time or to be out to family and friends. Not for fear of it, but I just don't want to deal with the conversations and exolanations, and I just do not want to dress that much.
If I want to dress and go for a make ober and out to dinner, I just go. There is nothing to gear, but fear itself.
As someone who hid for about 50 years I can say YES.
It is easier if you don't have to hide and keep this part of yourself away from your partner. I'm still not out to family and friends, but at least the one I love is there to share all of me now.
...and not telling someone is not necessarily hiding. There are plenty of things I do not tell others for a variety of reasons. I am a be believer of "need to know". Few peoole need to know I dress. Sunce I live with my wife and love and trust her dearly, she needs to know about this part of me. My neighbor down the street does not need to know, but if he sees me drive by en femme, he sees me and so what?
I have been on both sides. At one point I was out but had to go back in the closet. When I was out it felt wonderfull less stressed of having to hide. Sadly moved near family a few years ago I had to go back into hiding. The stress of being in the closet is awfull. Sadly there are situations that do not alow some of us to be out. Lately my partner has inspired me to be out a bit more to be more femme.
@christin73 I can only imagine that going back into the closet must be worse than never getting out that first time. I am not content in the closet, so my wife knows. I venture out, my wife doesn't know about that, but she suspects since I've given her lots of hints.
Each time I hurry home from an adventure dressed, I fell that going back briefly into the closet feeling and yearning for the day there would be no rush to down-dress and just stay as me instead.
I have been in the closet most of my life, that means to my family. To my friends I have been Jenny for many years and I have met acceptance and love all over.
It is too late to become the woman I am, but inside I am her. And will always be. 
.
Born male, understanding that girlyhood was my destiny: since five or six years old.
Believe or not: I am the person I am. Inside my heart.
@jennymarie Very true... I love what you said... "Inside, I am her" and "Believe or not: I am the person I am. Inside my heart.".
In a way, the dilemma is making or wanting others to believe. And just wanting to reinforce to ourselves that we are not hiding this beautiful, pretty side of us...it's a real side of us, not just our imaginations..
There are so many imponderables when assessing the case to come out or stay in hiding. It is a very complex question which is very individual. Circumstances and perceived outcomes are two main considerations.
You only have to read experiences here to see that there are those who are out and having a great time and those that are rooted in the closet.
Alas there is no experimentation it's a real world out there and sometimes the desire to dress more openly has to come with risk. Risk though can be managed and by careful assessment of people and places could make dressing more openly achievable.ZSometimes the impossible is more possible than you think.
@ab123 Very true, well said. Your words remind me of advice I would give someone else facing a challenge. I think I need to write more down about what I want, the risks, and the benefits. It always helped to see my own words in other challenges I've faced.
Lea,
I am lucky in that I'm out to the majority of my friends and acquaintances along with a good number of former co-workers. So I can tell you that yes, it is a big relief to not have to hide it anymore. A big burden can be lifted from one's shoulders and some girls are ultimately lucky to be able to live life as the real you, as a woman.
@d44 Thanks for that hope. I feel my destiny is for me to be more out, each year, a little by little. Hope is good, goals are better, forward progress is the best.
i work for a fortune 500 company, i have worn dresses and skirts to work. I am no where close to passing.. dont even worry about it. i have had costomers bring my dresses and have made jewely for me. i cant fo anywhere without some on seeing me, even the local breast augmentation surgion new who is am.... this has been a blessing. i feel confident where ever i go , regardless how i am dress. (Always in a dress.) At first it is a thrill to go out dressed. now it is normal and love it.. so my fellow sisters, go out and enjoy it. the stuff you see on the the internet is old info. people dont care about the way you dress. many dont even notice.... so be who you are
i have dated more women in the past few years than all my life... i cant get enough of myself a times. enjoy being you!! time is too short.
@sharon9999 Wow!!! Out at work. Congrats, that's an accomplishment. I can only imagine the courage, leadership, and so much more that you both embody and demonstrate at work. Knowing you've done it inspires me.
I often wonder if my next job should start with the truth, subtle dressing for the interview.
Lea, many of the words already spoken ring so true for me as well. I am in hiding, so underdressing is the majority of my dressing is underdressing, which I adore. Unfortunately only the lovely ladies here know about my dressing. I feel fear all the time that my hidden stash will be found, but in my head it just feels like what it is to be us. We are different and people tend to often be wary of different, so there’s always some level of concern or fear associated with dressing.
