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While replying to another post I started wondering how many girls struggle with the same question I do Where does my curser land on the line of X to Y . This is how I have come to accept who I am .When I had the talk with my wife for the second time this is how I explained who I am , science says we are made up of x and y Chroma zones and I believe (please don't judge me if I'm way out to lunch ,educate me) That on one end we are Male and the other we are female and as you slide the curser across you come up with society ranging from Masculine male all the way to Feminine Female and in between land those of us that range from I like silky panties under my jeans - I like to dress up in beautiful Female attire and go out , all the way to I wish I was female and want to change my sexual orientation . But as yet I have not determined where I land and I think part of it is because I have to hide the Girl inside there fore my feminine side cant find its landing spot on the spectrum . My talk with my wife was the result of talking with my therapist and him telling me I was not broken and that denying my Female inside would only make her want to come out more . This is where I struggle cause there are days I love being Male love working on cars or building things but there are times when I want to get dressed and be pretty just go for a drive or shopping or just a walk . How ever there are day where I would do either of these dressed as Male or female or both at the same time I get so confused and rapped up inside .That curser on the X,Y spectrum is constantly moving back and forth . I really think that this is because I cant truly be me and just dress how I feel day to day and allow my curser to land where is suppose to . These days are slightly better as my wife is somewhat comfortable with me wearing yoga pants around the house and I try to mix in the odd more feminine clothing when I can ,I am taking it very slow because after the first talk we had , Julianne came flying out of the closet and that almost ended my marriage. This sent Julianne back into the closet to the point of a purge and a two and a half year absents until she pushed back hard enough and sent me to my Therapist which I believe was the best thing that could have happened . So that is my release from my Heart and soul today ,I really wish these were conversations I could have with my wife as she truly is my soul mate and I love her with al my being But maybe one day ! Its so wonderful having like minded girls to put my thoughts and emotions out to Thank you all so much Love Julianne !
Hi Julianne, Well you are definitely in the right place to share your thoughts and emotions. A lot of very supportive folks here. While we are all unique, it is probably safe to say that we all have some sort of struggle that we are going through. At one time, I did question, as you are right now, where I do fall on the female - male continuum? But you know, I decided it didn't matter. As you say, it changes over time.
Another common struggle is trying to figure out why we like to cross dress? I spent many weeks in the mountains on a solo retreat trying to answer this question. And I've finally figured it out and the answer is only relevant to me as again everyone is unique and will have their own circumstances.
Once I've realized why I dress and that I don't need to worry about where I fit on the continuum, my life has been a lot easier. That acceptance just lifts the burden of worry off of one's shoulders.
Don't ever hesitate to ask questions and to share your thoughts with this group. Someone will try to support you. Stay healthy, stay safe, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
Hi Julianne I too swing about on the x-y line, sometimes like you I just want to do regular guy stuff and at others it's full on Diana, I have come to accept that this is who I am and now I don't fight it, I am much happier within myself whichever mode I am operating in. Keep talking with your wife and perhaps she will come to a better understanding of who and where you are and whatever you do - DON'T PURGE it never solves anything and is a colossal waste of time and money.
Your friends here are always ready to offer love and support so just reach out whenever yo feel the need.
Hugs and kisses
Diana.
That Is like me I love to wear panties and mi wife is ok with that and yoga pants around the house and to bed and pantyhose and some Shapeware I would like to get dressed up in a dress and make up some time
HI Julianne,
We all have a feminine side, to greater or lesser extent; but most of us learn to ignore or suppress it. Those of us who don't or can't suppress it become CD, and how much of your femme side other folks will see is a personal decision (not necessarily a choice).
You HAVE TO express your Julianne side, and your wife has both the right and the need to know about her; spouses should not have secrets separating them....and that is where the stuff hits the fan, sometimes. Given that your wife has some knowledge of Julianne's existence, it shouldn't be too difficult to begin The Talk. Explain that you still love her, and that this is not about her own femininity. What part of Julianne can she accept, what can she tolerate, and what it "too much to handle"? Find your compromise, and work with it; the situation may well improve over time. Mine did.
Hugs,
Bettylou
The thing is the first few weeks of pregnancy is that we are female XX then mother nature throws a Y in the mix to even up the pot, so men and women have an equal amount of people to keep the species going,
But the way i see it mother nature doesn't throw a full Y into the mix she only throws half a Y in so we are 3/4 women and 1/4 men we have the mannerisms of a woman and the body of a man I'm not sure if that's right I'm sure the girls will let me know x
Hugs Rozalyne x
Very interesting Lisa, I took the test and am apparently Androgyne with extreme measures not recommended - I can go with that, thanks for the link.
Diana
Wow julianne you definitely sound alot like me with one leg on either side of the fence waiting to see which way you will fall so to speak. Like you im into working on cars going 4wding ,camping and i started my new career as a truck driver and i can honestly say if you like doing something then do it doesnt matter if its as julianne or the other you the amount of female mechanics and driver's coming into industries here in aus is great to see to be perfectly honest cause then youd be able to.blend right in . Hope this makes sense
Aly xo
with one leg on either side of the fence
The thought of one leg on either side of the fence isn't good. Someone could look up your dress! Keep both legs on the female side of the fence at all times!
I guess its all depends on who is looking I might just like it LOL !Thanks for the reply
That's what I was thinking there is no reason one shouldn't be able to dress any way you want because we can all do any job now .Thanks
Thank you all for your posts the opinions are always so helpful .Love Julianne
Hey Lisa,
Snap * 2 😉
I did this test a month or so ago, and did it again today. It'd been long enough that I couldn't remember what my original answers were. Both times I came out Androgyne. I'm not totally convinced by some of the questions, but I haven't come across any similar 'quizzes' so it's an interesting signpost shall we say.
Marti x
Hey Julianne,
We sound so alike. I too can be truly happy in both masc and femme situations, it just depends on the day.
The real question is, why does your position on the spectrum matter to you? Let me explain.
I spent a long time trying to find my positioning because my logical brain told me I needed a label. Having got the answer of 'dual' or 'fluid' what did I do with the knowledge... nothing, not a thing. Did it change who I am, nope. Did it change how I feel, nope. Did it change how I behave, nope.
So what I'm trying to type is, don't feel pressured to put a label (or position on a spectrum) on yourself, sometimes there isn't one. Just be you, and do what feels right.
Sing with me girls "I am what I am... 🎼"
Didi💋
P.S. hold onto the fact that sexuality, gender and identity are three very very different things. But that's a whole different post 😘
