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Hi Girls,
Well yesterday I really did it while waiting on a customer. They were dressed in female slacks, female top, two or three earrings in each ear, no make up, boobs either real or fake, and had a definite male voice. They were definitely a person in transition.
They came to my register to check out and they started to put several bottles of wine on my counter and I began to ck them out.
After I rang them up I said "that will be xxxx dollars sir", and they immediately jumped back at me "I am a woman". Well as for my visual they were a CD dressed in women's clothing. I apologized to her over and over again and although she appeared to accept apology I don’t think it set very well with her. But I have to say that she looked and sounded more like a guy than a woman. But again I apologized profusely over and over again.
Kathleen xxxxx
As people of any stripe, we have to understand that people will fall back on what they have done for most of their lives without meaning to be hurtful. If someone makes an honest mistake we should treat them as we would want to be treated. People as a whole need to be less wound up and more forgiving of honest mistakes.
Oh dear Kathleen.
I'm sure lots of us who get out and about, have been on the receiving end of a comment like that at some time....if not, it may be on the way. I'm afraid it goes with the territory.
In my opinion, some accept they don't pass, are prepared for it and almost expect it....and don't give a damn......but others who think they look the real deal would be truly mortified!
She may probably go home and think about that for quite a while, or if she's like me....say what the hell and think about the next trip out. It would never put me off.!!!!
I would probably be back in your shop tomorrow...looking you straight in the eye... haha!!!
All you can do, you did, by apologising.....
don't beat yourself up.
Grace xx
I think quite a few of us look a little more femme in the mirror than we do in the cold hard unforgiving light of a bright cruel day.
In your position, I think I'd have gone with Ms on the basis that he was unlikely to object and would probably have been quite pleased.
Connie
xxx
Hi Kathleen,
That's life sweetie, you obviously observed what you thought was a CD, and you were probably right. I suspect it came as a bit of a shock that she was outed, but I bet she thinks, was it a genuine mistake or did you know.
I often go shopping en - femme with my eldest daughter, but she refuses to call me Amanda, now you should see the reactions when she says "I'll pack Dad" now that really makes some cashiers stutter.
Forget it and move on sweetie you apologised.
Lol Amanda xx
Kathleen, it sounds like an innocent mistake, but one none of us want to be on the receiving end of. From what I've heard dealing with trans people, it's best to not make a big deal out of it. Just correct it and move on. "Sorry, that'll be $$$, ma'am." or "My mistake, ____, ma'am."
If you over-apologize, it puts the pressure on them to say it's ok, when perhaps for them, it's not ok. Where, if you correct it and move on, it doesn't escalate any negative feelings. That's my 2 cents worth anyway.
Birel
On the whole I have had no problems when out and about. My voice is my weakness but if someone does mis gender and there is no malice or scene then I just carry on.
It is more difficult when talking on the phone to someone who doesn't know. I will give my name and take it from there.
As we can see from the answers to your post, there are some deep voiced women out there.
