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your crossdressing goals

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Posts: 1766
Duchess
Topic starter
(@fiona06)
Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago

hi girls. i'm not sure if this is the right category to post this but I have been thinking about out future goals, that is how far do we wish to progress and what we all expect. now I know we all have different goals, some of us are happy with just the occaisional cross dressing while others have a full gender change.

my future expectations are to get some courage from somewhere and eventually meet some like-minded soul, just like me, not for relationships you understand but merely friendship. I feel happy in the respect that I can cross dress with relative care free stress at home but like anything in life, you wish to progress onwards.

we have all made the important step in coming here which is a great social outlet even if its just reading forums or talking in chat. but where do I go from here??? I am stuck between wanting and doing. I am scared to go outdoors dressed femme but so badly want to do it. does that sound crazy?

so, what I want to hear is your future goals and for those of you that have ventured outdoors, what made you do it? and where did you find the courage!

fiona xx

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16 Replies
Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Hello Fiona,

Being stuck as you said is not crazy.

I and many of the ladies on this site will agree that it is a normal feeling.

I guess the question is what makes you afraid to step out. Are you afraid you can't pass or blend in? Is there a concern that someone will see you that you know? There are many reasons for not going out and fear can be so paralyzing.

Many that are now going out started with small steps. Such as putting out the trash at the end of the street. Taking a walk at a quiet time. Going to a different city/town and spending the day dressed.

We are here to help.

Daniella

xoxox

 

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Hi Again,

I hate labels but I am probably gender fluid.

I don't feel trapped in a male body but I love Daniella. I love her personality. I love how she has grown.

I could never nurture this growth if I did not step out.

I hope this makes sense.

Daniella

xoxox

 

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

I have a strong need to interact with others when I'm dressed, I think it's for acceptance. As Daniella pointed out I take baby steps as much as I can, for instance today I went out with woman's skinny jeans, a white turtle  neck sweater and bra, black mens loafers that could go either way female or male .  All covered up with a leather zipper jacket , for me and I'm so new, being out like this fills a need for companionship , acceptance, this is who I am and I'm not going to stay in the closet. The more I practice this the more self acceptance I seem to get and then confidence. I'm not sure of my future and where this is going to lead because I'm very new.

Love
Lisa 🙂
Balance-Dignity-acceptance-responsibility
Pittsburgh, Pa

 

 

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Posts: 121
Lady
(@mandycericross)
Estimable Member     Cheshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago

Fiona,

going out dressed is one of the best decisions I made when I first moved to Manchester in terms of my cross dressing. I can still remember it, it was late, I had on a sexy purple dress, stockings etc and I walked round my block and back to my flat and that was it, door opened for me.

What made me do it?  I came home from a club, the wife was away and this was pre children.  My inhibitions were down as I was starting to discover the wife sexy underwear, I got dressed, and took and tentative step outside.  That was it, simple as that.

It was a serious eye opener for me, it is very exciting.  Small steps like Daniella mentions above.  Give it a go girl and let us know, if you want any words of encouragement, PM me and I can talk you up!

In terms of goals for me, well after tonight venturing out and talking to you lovely ladies on here, I think I am going to tell me wife about my crossdressing side.  I honestly never thought I would come out the closet but there, I think its time.  Its all just been small steps on a wonderful journey.  Mx

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hi Fiona. It is a great question. When I had not yet ventured out, most of my life I didn't even thing it was possible to do so. That was before the internet... once I realized that there were others out there and they were living life and going out and they went shopping, dinning, dancing... Wow!! I wanted all that for me! So the immediate goal was to be able to go out. Once I went out the first time for a late night drive (The car was an extension of the closet in any case) , the goal was now going out and actually be seen... then it was to go shopping, then it was about meeting others, then it was to go and attend a cd support group, then it was attending a conference, getting a manicure, flying en femme, etc, etc, etc.

Achieving those temporary goals brought with it some unintended consequences... First, after living all those experiences, being able to dress up to stay home lost most of the appeal. My dressing was already something to do if I was going to be able to go out. But with my restrictions that didn't happen often at all. So, now I didn't even have that "feeling" of dressing up at home.

Second... what happens when you have achieved your goals in something? You try to find other goals, right? So... what else could I do, as a married, hetero CD, with a barely tolerant wife? Going out dancing? Nope... Meeting some admirer? Nope... start feminizing my body? Nope... Got a whole lot of things that I could do, but that I either didn't want to do or were just beyond of what I ever wanted to do.

So, that's about where I am at now. One thing I did, I have been able to reflect a lot about who I am and what I want. (and what I don't want!) I have learned a lot about myself. Since I have done a whole lot of things... I can (mostly) live by my memories of how it was instead of the longing of "how would it be to..." And other than the few chances I get to dress every other blue moon, I live with my participation in sites like this, talking to people who is in the same or similar path, and if I can provide any help with my experiences, I'm happy to do so.

Love,

Gaby

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Posts: 271
(@charchar1959)
Reputable Member     Buffalo, New York, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I definitely want to venture out when I am ready.  I still have to establish makeup skills and inventory, so perhaps by the time the holidays roll around, I may be in a position to do it.  Ideally, I'd love to find a couple of crossdressing friends in the area for socializing privately.  I think that makes more sense than jumping right into a much larger function like a CD conference.  But at the same time, I plan to limit the number of times I go out en femme, for many reasons, not the least of which is so each time is special and exciting.

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Posts: 46
Lady
(@biolass1000)
Trusted Member     Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Now that I've finally seen myself as Amelia, my next step is to find a local support group. I enjoy my time here, but it pale in comparison to face to face social interaction. Also, Halloween is around the corner and will be my first time dressed in public. I can hardly contain my excitement. After that, I'll come out to the rest of my family. It won't be easy due to their conservative and religious beliefs, but I don't want to keep this part of my life from them only to find out about it from an external source.

Once that is done, I'm not sure where else to go. I work full time in male mode, limiting my dressing to the weekends, and I have yet to find anyone to venture out with me fully dress. I might walk around my neighborhood, but that is about it. I would like to do more, though.

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Posts: 1435
Lady
(@rbekka)
Noble Member     SF Bay Area, California, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Hi Fiona, Everyone!

Good question.

Just thinking back to this past weekend, I was pretty "out there" yesterday in particular.  Clearly in fem jeans and shoes, with a red shirt and black jacket, I was really feelin' it and thought I looked pretty good.  (I can't wear makeup or wig, etc), but it was pretty obvious.

To what end however?  I'm really not certain.  I want to develop (natural) breast but that comes with risks.  I was all over our (small) town, could have ran into anyone we know, was with my SO too, at a packed grocery store where the whole town shops!  Don't know what's going through my SO's mind.  She maybe thinking "wait till we run into an old friend, then let's see what happens!"  I don't know.

All the men in our town dress the same, jeans or khakis, polo shirts or cargo shorts, they all look the same.  I never followed that convention anyway and got strange looks, so can't imagine what people are thinking now.

To top it off my SO started talking about how our (US) president (my apologies to the world!) and his administration are seriously considering classifying gender is male or female, what ever you were born as is what you are, NO OTHER CONSIDERATIONS!  When I heard this my first thought was, if that happens I'm coming out for certain!

We gurls have to stand up on our high heels for what is right!

Hope this helps in some way.

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Posts: 2028
Baroness
(@ryanpaul)
Famed Member     Outer Eastern Suburbs Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Joined: 7 years ago

To spend time as Caty either within the house, (sadly most of the time) or outside in the wide wide world when I can. These days that wont be more than 3-4 times a year, for my SO would not approve of me preparing to go out as Caty and if she knew I already do, would be horrified.

(A wonderful loving , but very conservative woman).

As compensation for the lack of outside time, to underdress in bra, cami and panties during the day and night whenever possible. Special emphasis on the 16a bras I own to emulate a real female and encase the what little breast tissue I have

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Posts: 78
(@charlotterose)
Trusted Member     Trinity, Texas, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I don't want necessarily pass 100%; I just want to be myself and dress how I feel like. Dressing as Charlotte is my escape from my own mind and I love it.

While I'm on the road; I have my panties and now two sports bras I wear. I've also startes replacing my worn out guy jeans with straight cut femme jeans. I also have a cute nightshirt to wear in the truck after I'm done trucking for the day.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

My ambition, no, fantasy...would be to go out dressed. I’ll never pass: maybe when much younger. I’ve done Halloween, fancy dress parties etc wearing dresses and lingerie but it’s been a joke for others but not for me. I’ve had secluded beach walks on holiday in a long dress... heaven! My goal would be to attend a CD gathering, but I guess it will never happen now. ❤️

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Posts: 11
Lady
(@lizzy)
Active Member     ZuidHolland, Netherlands
Joined: 6 years ago

Oh I like this question!

 

My dream/goal is to provide a safe space for young Dutch crossdressers to make their first steps. To be in the company of others whilst being dressed is such an exciting thought to almost all of us but also such a huge hurdle to cross. I dream about opening my home to younger crossdressers and together with my girlfriend teach them a few make-up basics, try out some clothes, or have them sit down all dressed up with snacks and a movie and just talk about your journey, judgement free.

 

ooooh that'd be so nice.

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Posts: 205
Lady
(@jenniferlove)
Estimable Member     West Sacramento, California, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I feel as though I am on the verge of making my goal.  I wasn't sure what it would be but now I think I do.  I have a wonderful life, my own apartment where I can dress to my hearts content.  I know a lot of nice people in my town and have a local bar where I go and have a blast, in drab of course.

Recently things have started to change for my femme side.  I known a very nice gay guy for years.  I know he would love to get into my panties, but I have made it clear that is not for me.  Nevertheless, he is my friend.  He has introduced me to his roommate who is very funny and we all get along.  They have accepted me into there club and even offered to have me over to be able to dress and go out to the bars with them.  I love it.  So  I have one foot in the regular world and a shaven leg in the other.  It works for me.  I guess you could say I have the best of both worlds.

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Posts: 1766
Duchess
Topic starter
(@fiona06)
Famed Member     Bolton, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago

hi lizzy. what a great idea! I sure wish there was something like that nearer to me, it might give me the incentive to get out there and meet new friends!

fiona xx

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