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How would you handle that your 12 year old son has been wearing girls clothing? My story started when I was fourteen, I had become very curious about the silky things my sister was wearing and was caught checking out her pretty nightgown. At that point I hadn't tried on any of her things but wasn't far from it. My sister encouraged me to try wearing her nightie and panties, I loved the feeling but also felt funny for doing it and told her so. She said lots of guys wore panties even my dad, I had no idea dad was A CD. My mother sat me down and told me about my dad and how he was severely punished by his father and step mother for wearing his step mother's clothes. It was so bad he finely left home and joined the navy. His family disowned him, all but his brother who was the one that was responsible for getting him started crossdressing. When my dad got into the conversation he also told me how that his parents had left such A bad impact on him he vowed if he had A son that wanted to dress up in fem he would not do anything to leave him with shame and guilt feelings. He told me that no matter badly he was treated he still enjoyed dressing up and wearing soft and silky things. My mom also said it was alright to have interest in girly things as it would make me A more complete and better person. As I read the forums about the shame and guilt felt by so many and the problems left to us by parents and the society that puts down men and boys who dares to wear the clothing of the female sex, I feel so lucky that I never felt badly about my CD instead I consider it to be A blessing. How would handle such A situation if it is your son?
I know you're asking about your son. But here is a canned answer to chat room under age people. I mainly wanted to get you the information out of it.... as the youth site may help you more! Thanks!!
Hello, We are sorry to have to inform you that this CDH chat room is for ladies 18 years of age or older. This is an absolute must for legal reasons of course. There are other avenues that you can pursue online catering to younger CD/TS people. Here is a link to help get you started on your journey: crossdresserheaven.com/transgender-youth/ We are truly sorry that you can NOT stay in this chat room, so we ask politely that you please exit the chat room now. Thank you again for your understanding in this matter.
Thank you so much, Samantha Roarke
Even at the time when I would have had a 12 year old I was pretty open minded about most 'alternative lifestyles', much moreso now, It didn't happen so I can't say for certain
I would like to think I would be ok with it and just let him know to be careful about where and to whom he devulged his interest as there would those who wouldn't be kind.
Sarasue,
In times past, I would have been worried that such behavior could lead to dangerous confrontations; and I would have considered it to be socially undesirable behavior. BUT now that I'm viewing from the other side of the fence, I would only caution him to be alert and use the same discretion that any GG should exercise when out in public. And I would assure him (as I have posted before) that dressing is neither illegal nor "wrong" behavior.
As I have posted elsewhere, when in my arly teens, I got caught wearing my mothers clothes, my Dad sat me down and gave me the "standard 60's lecture", "If you keep this up the Boys in the Pub", (The paramount 60's font of all wisdom and knowledge, at least here in Oz) "will call you a queen". Aka gay these days..
I think I ceased and desisted for a while but soon was back "into it".
I do seem to remember putting on a bra and prancing around the living room... So... who knows if he was a CD??
Caty
At the age of 67, I don't I'll ever have a son. But If I were to have a son, I would have a long chat with him. I wouldn't, being a crossdresser myself, discourage him, but I would warn him that once you start you'll be able the stop and that it will have a major effect on your life.
I have a son who’s almost 2. If he decides to go that route I wouldn’t stop him but have chat about being careful who knows. His mom wouldn’t approve at all so that would make it harder. Who knows what life will be like in 10 years. My best advice would be to be yourself and talk to me rather than keeping it inside or trying to hide it as I love him no matter who he is
During my career I worked with many that had alt lifestyles, so when I finally had children I resolved to accept whatever they were to become. My kids are straight, and I don't know if my son is or will get a fondness for women's clothes. Who knows maybe he "borrowed" his big sister's bras? No idea.Ok if he did.
Whatever he is, he is still my son.
More interesting to this discussion. A female friend who introduced me, as Amy, to one of her female friends started asking my questions, then backed off. I said go ahead, ask me! Part of what she wanted to ask me, am I gay? No! Turns out, she has a pre teen son, who from an early age showed an interest in Mom's clothes. So I tried to reassure, and she hasn't ever berated him. Which was nice to hear.
Fortunately many are much more enlightened these days, but this still seems to be something of a taboo.
Amy
Hi Sarasue. I am raising 3 boys one of them is twelve years old. He is dealing with so much in his young life. He does identify with his mother I would never shame him for wearimg any clothing he may wear. Some of his outfits are very feminine. If it came apparent to me he wanted to express himself in more of a feminine way I would certainly allow it. I would comment on it if i found it to be inappropriate. Inappropriate meaning any clothing that might express trying to get attention in a sexual manner. That is were i draw the line. It is the same line i would draw if i were raising a 12 year old girl. Today it is so much easier and acceptable for boys to wear vibrant colors and skinny jeans. It reminds me of a male peacock spreading his feathers. He has to figure it out. What he likes and how he wants to express himself. I would never shame him or make him feel guilty about anything. I would simply explain what i feel is appropriate for the occaision. Now lets say he came down stairs in a dress or a skirt with make up on. I would look at the outfit and say where are you going dressed like that. If he said i am going wth one of his girl friends to a birthday party. I would say you do not need make up. I am sure i would here from the back round from his older brother i always knew you were gay. I am sure i would hear I am not gay you f...king a.....hole. Then a fight would begin and a pretty dress would be ruined. Mostly likly he would need make up to cover his black eye. Parents who truly love their children and most do have to let things play out but guide them by letting them know what they feel is appropriate Not by using shame or guilt. These chikdren know how they feel they are alot smarter than most think. . You want them to express them selves openly so you can guide them and if you cannot guide him then find the appropriate people that can guide him. They will let you know how they feel you just have to be open enough to listen. If he wants to express himself in the feminine then that is how he feels. Let it play out and see where it is going offer a helping comment or two and express concesrn if you see sex getting involved. Sex and crossdressing get so intertwined. Girls are just as sexual as boys even more sexual in alot of cases. How they express it is totally different. That is the point were you have to intervene and be very aware what is going on in their life. There are so many professionals that have been educated in this subject. Some are even trans themselves. The last thing any professional should do is push in one way or another the person will tell you just take the time to listen. If he feels he wants to be a girl then modify how you raise him. He knows what he has and does not have i can assure you. Most important keep him safe from himself and those who may want to hurt him or take advantage of his young mind. If youvdo not understand then find someone that does. It is not the end of the world it more common than most think. I am one that survived the shame and guilt like many here. When you think about it Society shames boys for wanting to be girls.What does that say about society. That is where if you are born with a penis you are given privilege. Some of us just do not want that privilege nor the other that comes with privilege. Cis woman should welcome a sister or a daughter that can help make this world a kinder, more empathetic nurturing place Luv Stephanie
Well said by A smart man.
Well the first thing I'd do is calm him down, you figure I probably just walked in on him and he's probably freaking, I know I would have been. After that we sit down and I tell him there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, it's perfectly normal and then I'd ask him why he's doing this. Does he want to be a girl or are you just sexually experimenting? He's 12 of course it's sexual dumb ass. I'd also tell him that this is a part of him and it's not going to go away. Don't let anyone tell you go see a shrink and he'll give you a magic pill and you'll be fine. When he asks, how do you know this Dad? I'd tell him because I've been dressing most of my life, in fact I started at about your age. Then I would explain that he has to be careful about where he goes and who finds out that he does this as some people don't understand us and will hurt him and he really has to be aware of his surrondings. Most of all I'd tell him I don't care what he does, he is my kid and my love is unconditional for all my kids. Lastly I'd tell him if I catch him in my wardrobe I'll kick his butt. lol
