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…how would they behave if you were en femme?
And what might you say to try to avoid a ticket.
@valentina16 I’m sorry officer I tried to slow down but my heels got stuck on the mat
@katey yeeeessss, Ms Katey, maybe, as a dressing friend, can I help you with this one. Maybe not the best idea. A bit like saying “You’re a bit short for a copper (UK term), ain’t ya?!” Not recommended, don’t poke the bear. 😬
I'd tell them I'm Trans. That should be enough to confound them! Or I always dress this way! 🥰
…how would they behave if you were en femme?
And what might you say to try to avoid a ticket.
Or maybe turn it around. You wouldn't have to speculate.
... How would you behave if they were en femme?
@emmat An interesting angle, ty. But less likely to be experienced? You toss the ball up so let’s see what the response might be.
I'd be pleasantly but not totally surprised. Any other reaction would be more to do with whether I'd done anything to get busted for. I always like a surfing challange, so I've come across template training documents for police forces to use when accomodating transgender officers in their midst. One Freedom of Information act dated July 2023 from the Met (the London police) indicated 1 identifying as a transwoman , and 3 as transmen. They didn't have any data on non binary, and pointed out this was a base figure, since self declaration is voluntary.
Yes., not a lot.
@valentina16 I would like to think I would be very nervous. Hopefully I would have a skirt on and slide it up a bit to show panties and hope like what he saw....
@chellygirl I admit, I didn’t anticipate such an approach 🤣 - I would just show my discrete hem line with my beautiful black hose shimmering beneath the steering wheel. 💚☺️💚
@valentina16 Yes I have been driving and I have been stopped by the police. I did nothing different than I would have any other time. I responded to his inquiries, presented the necessary identification and waited for his determination.
I didn't do anything out of the ordinary to avoid a ticket. My excellent driving record did that for me.
@valentina16 got stopped in Orlando years ago. No big deal really. Just answer the questions and be positive and all will go fine. Hopefully.
she went to jail. like she should have.
i have been pulled over by the police a few times. for stupid things like over the line at a stop light or swiving over the center line. nothing happened. i think they were just bored. they made me do somethings to see if i was drunk. surprise, i don't drink but i was dressed. being dressed isn't against the law. they treat you like everyone else.
I think the best course of action would be to pull over and do what the officer tells you. I wouldn't even try getting out of the ticket, especially if I deserved it. My attitude would be "yes sir" and "no sir." If you're not severely breaking the law, there would be nothing to worry about (other than being exposed for a short period of time, but that is why we want to go out en femme too, correct? The thrill of potentially being exposed?). I remember seeing an episode of "Cops" where where someone was dressed en femme, but didn't stop. One guy even called 911 on himself to ask what to do, but because he (she) did not stop, they went to jail.
My Brother is a retired highway patrolman, He has told me all kinds of stories, but never about stopping a cross dresser. I could ask him if that has ever happened before... but then again, I don't really want to expose myself either. 
@patricia1970 I’m with you Patricia. I have a cousin who’s a retired San Jose cop and I have two friends here who are retired NY cops. They all have told me the same thing: “If you make any attempt to get out of a ticket that’s when we’ll throw the book at you.” So, yes sir, no sir is the very best policy when pulled over. No matter what you’re wearing.
@valentina16 Your question is: How would the police officer - a person you have never had any interactions with in your life - act if they pulled you over?
I might ask, "You go to the grocery store dolled up - how does the checkout clerk react?" or "You go to a restaurant dolled up - how does the waiter react?" And frankly, I don't even think we need to put 'dolled up' in the equation. Please speculate on the behaviors of strangers.
Who can know this? You're asking people to stereotype a group of 1.28M people (in the US alone), which feels like an unhealthy thing to do amongst a group that is likely already dealing with anxiety about going out and fears of how they'll be treated for simply expressing themselves.
@melodeescarlet Understand your counter point, but,
a) it’s only a question, not a statement
b) in the situation of driving, the only person you’re going to be stopped by, with authority, is specifically a police officer. Of course, if you were unfortunate enough to have an accident, you may encounter emergency services personnel or even first responders - and that could be a separate Q, perhaps with interesting experiences
c) the Q looks to see what your experience has been, not to stereotype, and on the basis that many of us have been dressing for some many years, it might flush out whether there has been any change seen over the years since (eg) DEI type initiatives have been seen as important and put in place, with training etc.
Many of us exploring under or over dressing have no experience of being stopped (which, in my case, given the weight of my right foot, is perhaps a providence), so I put the Q out there, to enquire, to help us prepare for what we might encounter, albeit there are 1.28m people with the authority to stop us, so they will all have their own approach and perhaps prejudices, like in all walks of society.
For many going out undercover, for their own enjoyment and freedom, the car is perhaps their first extension of their deemed private space, and they just don’t want to waste any time ‘not dressed’. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to expand.
💚
@valentina16 It’s a hypothetical, fun question. Like most all of the forum questions here. A pretend situation has occurred - what would you do? Some take them so seriously. The majority of us do not dress 24/7 or even close. So we have fun imagining scenarios both real and pretend. “What would you do in that situation? What would your story be?”
And I have one! I can’t believe I recalled this after so many years. Celebrating my 22nd birthday I drank heavily, as 22 year olds tend to do. Then drove home in my VW bug. AND….I end up being pulled over. Now I was in drab, having just partied on my birthday with friends. Of course I couldn’t pass the roadside test so I got hauled of to the drunk tank that night.
So, no problems other than stupidity and embarrassment so far. We get to the police station, fingerprints, mug shot, the whole deal back then, it was the year 1979. Still no worries. Then it happened: “Take off your shoes to go in the holding cell”. I sobered up IMMEDIATELY upon hearing that. Because right then I remembered that my toenails were painted hooker red. OMG!!! However, looking at my fellow inmates, they were in their socks. I breathed a huge sigh of relief! Whew, that was close! Then I took my shoes off and both socks were threadbare with holes in them! Holy s***!!! Thinking fast, I yanked them down a bit so they bunched up and covered my brightly painted toes. But it was hard to walk with them that way and not trip. I made it to the holding cell okay with nobody the wiser but I was sweating bullets.
Finally my turn came to make a phone call. I called my girlfriend and said - “I don’t know how you’re gonna do it but you gotta get enough money to bail me outta here tonight.” I’m in the drunk tank with a bunch of crazies and my toenails are painted bright red! (As was my policy I had told her previously of my CD fetish.) My socks have holes in them so I can’t hide it easily. Get down here now!!!”
Fortunately she scraped up the cash to come down and have me freed that night. That relationship ended up not lasting but I was always grateful to her for saving my bacon. So many ways that whole thing could have went south.
So ladies, um, “Don’t drink and drive”🥰
The police have pulled over much stranger things than us
Been there done that got the ticket $504 Australian for speeding. Officervdidn't see any thing so I am unsure if he noticed or not.
I don't think I could ever convince an officer I was female, no matter how convincing i might look.Once I stepped out of the car, the officer would know I was a man cross dressed. I'm 6'4" tall. With any sort of heel, I would be over 6'5" tall. Think I could convince I'm a professional female basketball player?
I had my fare share of tickets I must say once an officer pulls you over he or she already has a mind set of what they are going to do regardless of what they stumbled apon I found it’s best not to say anything incase you want to fight the ticket instead of admitting guilt
I hope this never happens but if it does my plan is to say as little as possible and try to get through it. I definitely drive more contentiously when dressed. Even my wife says she prefers Michelle's driving style.
@mkat3874 ty, much along the same lines as Ms Erin. From accounts I’ve heard, in the UK, they usually open with a Q “So, do you know what speed you were doing”. This is of course a lose-lose-lose situation - first, if you don’t know, you’re admitting driving without due care and attention, second, if you admit to a high speed, you’re admitting guilt, third, if you say 30,50,70 whatever the limit is, you’re lying and possibly provoking further frustration from them. And I’m guessing pleading 5th was meant for bigger stuff. Moral of the story, put the cruise control on the speed limit, as I always do. 😇😬🤥🫡
Another big one for me in male mode is the "rolling stop" where you almost come to a complete stop at a sign but continue with a slight roll before takeoff. Some officers let this go but if quotas are behind they will wait near stop signs watching for this one. In Michelle mode I am careful to come to a full and obvious stop.
@mkat3874 I remember being warned, driving through Tennessee “Stop means lock wheels” I did. Wasn’t en femme though 💚
@mkat3874 I used to ‘drive while dressed’ fairly frequently when I lived in California and being the planner I am, I imagined being stopped at some point. When the officer asks for my license and registration while looking me over, my plan was to say as I hand him the documents: “As you can see officer - I have no idea what I’m doing. In many different things!” Hopefully we’d both have a laugh and then give me the ticket and we’re on our way….🥰
I'm not too worried about the interaction with the big city police as they've seen everything. My bigger concern is the new young small town sheriff's deputy who's never seen a CD in real life. I'd prefer not to be their first encounter.
I have been stopped twice now while out as Diana traveling on business. Both times they were non issues. I showed my drivers license and was treated with respect. I got a ticket for speeding in a construction zone and a warning for a snow covered license plate (It was snowing earlier in the day way farther north). I wrote an article about one of the experiences. License and Registration please
@valentina16 They were both in 2021. The "Snow" warning was by a State Police in Indiana. The ticket was a State Police in Kentucky. I have been retired for almost 2 years now so do not travel enfemme as often any more. I very much miss those trips. I was on the road at least once per month and always drove or flew enfemme.
@dianas1960 Twice for me too, on really non issues. However, although I was wearing femme jeans, shoes, and all the other stuff that goes with crossdressing, I did not have my wig on. They both were professional, courteous and there was no problem at all.
@michaela2001 ty. Consensus is, it is a non-issue, thankfully the professional world has moved on. 💚🙏💚
@michaela2001 I was in full dress with makeup on both instances. They were very professional each time.
Hi Valentina, I've been stopped for being involved in a chain reaction on the freeway (squished between two cars). It wasn't my fault and I had no problem and was treated well without problems by the State Trooper. I did have problems with the other insurance companies who called and kept wanting to talk to the woman in the red car involved in the accident (me) but couldn't understand that while I looked like a woman my documents indicated a male. They really didn't have an understanding of intersex people. Marg
If they start with 'Do you know why I stopped you' then if they don't know how the heck are you supposed to know?
I have been stopped and dealt with it as I would have done in any other circumstance being compliant to the questions. No dramas it was a late night 'routine stop' and I suspect the older looking officer was with a younger trainee as the younger wandered over a couple of times to have things checked. The trainee probably got a tick in the diversity box how he dealt with me which was polite.
I just hope it doesn't happen. In 30 years of driving, I have had 3 speeding fines. 2 of them within 6 weeks last year. I now have points on my licence for the first time ever. I don't want more.
@annaredhead That guy on the bridge with his camera?! I just about saw him with enough time to drop down to 70 😬 Hey ho. 💚
It has happened to me. I just replied as needed and got my ticket. No big deal. He did give me a cheaper ticket then he could have, but it was a pretty BS ticket to begin with. No doubt the rural city droped it speed limit well over a mile from town just to write such tickets.😤
