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My so wants to help me be more fem but is unsure what I want from her or what she can do so we are both comfortable. For me it is feeling as if we are girlfriends sharing conversation about clothes, makeup, hair style etc. For me it's a gender issue. She says for her it makes her feel like a lesbian. Not sure how to fix that. Just looking for some different viewpoints. Welcome to any thoughts or questions. Huggs👭
my 2 cents...
Start small. Don't try to go from zero to a hundred in a few weeks. Let her get comfortable with who you are gradually. Start dressing low key and LET HER bring up the discussion.
Gender issues, it could very well be. My wife has basically says the same thing. Her relationship with me never included any feminine connections between us and never wanted any intimate lesbian interactions. Everything else is fine providing she has her say. Her values were set from day one and expects a husband, wife relationship which she originally signed up for. That was brought to my attention as a major point after opening up to her. So far I've kept my feminism out of the bedroom. I do fantasize like most and would truly enjoy the experience but to me it's only a dream. Dressing for bed, as of panties and nightgowns she's never had a problem with but as the friskiness suddenly happens to come along I know, off comes the clothes and she's happy to be with her husband where she wants and needs him. It's a decision that she strongly defends and right now not negotiable. 🌹
This is a hard one. It's one thing to get used to and comfortable seeing my Hubbie in women's clothing, I've gotten pretty comfortable with that, but after 3 years I am still getting used to how to be around her, going beyond just the physical look and treating her as another women. I guess in alot of ways, I take alot of my queues from her. So the more she acts and becomes as women, I guess the more I treat her as such. It's not that I refuse to treat her like a girlfriend and more that she needs to exude that energy. Does that make sense?
-Gwenn
Yes Gwenn, it makes sense. Thanks.
B
I had been dressing for a couple of years. Often when I went out I would dress partly fem. That would be pantyhose, short shorts and platform wedges. I was wearing that when I met my wife.
A couple of weeks later she surprised me showing up at my place. She was not happy when she saw women's clothes lying about. I explained the clothes were mine. I don't just wear pantyhose and platforms, I wear everything. I enjoy wearing them for fun and to parties. She seemed skeptical and asked me to show her.
I chose one of my favorite and sexiest outfits. I went in the bedroom and put it on, wig, makeup, everything. When I walked out she was stunned at how pretty and sexy I was. I didn't even look like me. She was impressed. It worked out well too. I became her boyfriend and girlfriend. We would often do boyfriend/girlfriend things and sometimes do girlfriend/girlfriend things. It was fun.
As far as then intimacy went, well we just took it as it came along. That often was a lot of fun.
Gwenn,
Perfect sense
I'm with the others, it does make sense. I never thought of this and for me my wife is more than I could ever ask for but I've always wondered why she hasn't engage me in any questions or showing any interest in what I'm currently thinking about or in a little way fantasizing of. Not that we don't talk , we do but not as often. I do dress occasionally at home so she doesn't see me very much so that probably why dressing doesn't come up very much. But your likely right I think now she's now in wait . Just observing waiting for me to show more of Stephanie, still nervous dressed in front of her but I better work on confronting those fears. Showing her more of me may open her to interactions I've certainly been hoping for. To be girlfriends and enjoy a unique friendship even closer than the one I so blessed to be in now. Maybe going out together ,shopping or just hanging out as a girls night out.
Thank you Gwenn for your insight, I'm looking forward to new beginnings.
Stephanie 🌹🌹
I am I think her g/f...you have to read my previous posts to understand! I have a hormone issue. We are very open and I am blessed! The dressing is fine and I think other areas are fine! Our romantic area is outstanding but I hope it remains that way..I do worry sometimes she may need to feel a more male side but she assures me we are married! I worry too much
Hi my wife is in same boat she says she is not a lesbian and don't have the need for one in our bedroom and I agree as Stephanie we are just like two girlfriends would be and that's quite fun .So most nights I go to bed after her then I put on my night gown pantys a little lipstick and off to sleep . Then some weekend mornings she wakes up a little friskee and don't mind the nightgown and lipstick .I just enjoy the time we have then shower up and change she sometimes joins me in shower great weekend but she has never got mad about Stephanie being there in our bed . Im just In love with her and don't want to force her to make any harsh decisions about either one im letting her make the pace and its getting better slow but getting there thanks for letting me talk hugs Stephanie
I also want to add, your wife needs to come to terms with her own sexuality. We don't have to label ourselves. I am personally sick of societies gender and sexuality views. We need to stop gender roles and gender biases and just let people be themselves. My husband likes to dress as a women sometimes, so what, who does that harm? Not me, not you. I still find I am attracted to him no matter what, so doesn't hurt me that way either. I choose to try to not let what others think, rule over me. And to try keep an open mind. If that makes me different or a unicorn, I guess I am, but I choose to think of myself as just a person who is trying not to discriminate. Sorry for my rambling on. I'll end by saying, hope she gains a different perspective someday.
-Gwenn