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Dear CIS Women,
I was very curious if any of you do or have in the past go out occasionally with your male CD partner in public, shopping, movies, dinner, concerts etc. They would have to be very passable, blend in, dressed for the place and people and have all the looks, walk gestures and deportment of you genetic CIS beauties.
I know you are in the minority and is understandable as every couple has their boundaries, many couples are DADT. My wife of 55 years used to go out regularly to all the above for 35 years until she became disabled, and wheelchair confined, at which point i would venture out as Meghan with her blessing as we would not want to run into someone that we know in public who knew her and approach us and wonder 'who is that strange woman with Mrs. X.?'
It works out better this way, as I have 3-4 hours of femme freedom to go and do as I please without being clocked or having to put the Wheelchair in and out of the vehicle numerous times.
We have a good 50+ years of CD wife support and acceptance. What say all of you?
@meghan47 i can empathize with you as my wife is also disabled and I have to push her around on her walker(which becomes a rider). It wears me down as I just turned 70 and am no spring chicken. I do this in drab. We do not go together femme. Just have a bare acceptance with her and little more.
Alice Black
I am a CIS woman who goes out with my CD partner. We’ve been out shopping at the local mall, out to supper, to Keystone, and to Pride events. She, however, is not 100% passable as was a requirement in your scenario. She is a standout in all the best ways!
@piratequeen Cheri--- you are rare and special and I'm sure your SO really appreciate you--Maureen
@piratequeen ← This is my partner! 😍 ❤️ She's the absolute best! She's been 100% supportive from the word go!
I've made my feelings on 'passing' here many times. Sum it up to say: total myth. At 100 paces if you're really squinty, I do OK, but up close no one would mistake me for a cis woman, I'm really just too big.
@piratequeen @melodeescarlet it's amazing to see a couple like you guys! Unfortunately for me, my wife accepts my CD only indoors and out of her sight 😕.
If you guys could share how everything went on until the point of acceptance and if you have any advice i would be very grateful!
PS: you both look gorgeous!
@nannycd Hi Nanny, thank you! 😊
For my part, I can tell you that I informed her very early on in our relationship - though at that time it was lingerie only. Since then, I've tried to be honest with her and keep her informed about what I do, what I want to do, and why I do it (and if I'm not sure, I tell her that, too). This way she doesn't worry or fear that something is happening in our relationship she doesn't know about.
As to why she puts up with me, you'll have to ask her. 😉
@melodeescarlet thank you, Melodee! I didn't have the guts to be open before our relationship and only when we had almost 3years of marriage i take the courage and open everything for her, right now she's accepting with the condition that i keep to myself and she didn't get to see, but at first she felt betrayed and it took some hard talks to get were we are now, i'm taking baby steps with her and not forcing nothing, hoping to get to a point similar to what you guys have! Best wishes!
@nannycd As I try to remind everyone: Someone's reaction to you is about them, and not about you. That means you have no say in her reaction, nor should you. What you get to control is your reaction.
So, take some time and really think about how she might feel. What she might be objecting to. Is it that you didn't tell her? That she's worried you might leave her? Remember you've had (probably) decades to think about this, and she's only had a little while, and doesn't have the benefit of being able to answer any questions herself.
Maybe an open and honest sitdown about things might help?
@melodeescarlet for sure it helps, we had some very hard but very necessary conversations about it, her great fear in her words was i being gay or/and being a trans woman since she didn't feel attracted to a woman figure, but everything was good after all and she understands that crossdressing is a part of me that i won't let it go (she insisted for me to keep my things and don't stop to crossdressing) but she says she had a real hard timing thinking of me in femme, but without me asking her she promised that she'll try to change that and that's when i see her unconditional love for me.
You're absolutely right Melodee, we CD's know this world for a long time when our spouses sometimes don't even heard the term (my wife didn't know what crossdresser was), she used to think that gender is ultimately attached to our sexual preference and couldn't see that a guy would want to get all dolled up without wanting to attract men, open everything to her was the best thing that i did for me and to our relationship.
@melodeescarlet Melodee, such respect, concern, transparency and love for Cheri! A model "story" for ladies to know, follow.👏🏼💐🏆
@piratequeen hi there I’m Jennifer and I want to share my CD with my wife of 34 years. I’ve been living surpressing this for so long. How did your conversation go when you first found out? I just don’t even know how to tell her.. so looking for advice
@jennifer2025 Our conversation was very early on in our relationship. We were both still learning about each other, so it didn’t seem odd when she told me there was something about her that she needed me to know. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but she pretty much just told me that she liked to dress in lingerie and stockings. She talked about why and what it meant to her. She answered all of my questions, of which I don’t think I had very many. I have kinks, so my experiences have helped me to be pretty open minded. Obviously, this is very different from your situation. Not knowing your relationship with your wife, I don’t know the best way that you should approach this with her. I would suggest a professional counselor, at least for yourself, if not a couples counselor. Someone to learn about you, your wife, and your relationship, who would guide you. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do!
@piratequeen thanks for sharing. I’m talking with a therapist now. I have come out and told my sister. What a great weight off my shoulders having someone who you live know this about you. Hope to some day be by able to share with my wife and daughters
