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Ladies I want to ask you a question, excluding for the moment your SO who may be a CD or trans, when you are out and about in a bar, restaurant, shop or whatever if you were to see me would you think it was a positive thing or not?
The reason I am asking this question is that I have been out on numerous occasions (usually with a female friend) always with a positive response, which of course is a good thing. But it seems to be more than that, if you look at my photos you can see what I look like, I may look good, but I am well aware that at close quarters others, particularly women, will know exactly what I am. But the interesting thing is, contrary to what you may read in the papers, the encounter is often more than positive. I can give examples of three different restaurants in different areas where a waitress who has served us before has asked for us to be put on one of their tables so they can serve us, women have complimented me on my outfit in M&S, shop staff seem to be particularly accommodating, in one shop after we had made some purchases, my friend found something else she wanted, so I made my way back to the car she went to the counter to pay and was asked "Where is your friend?".
Obviously being on CDH you will see things from a different perspective anyway, but I am just interested in the views of the women on here.....
This is a good one Andrea. It’s my view that there’s way too much negativity associated with crossdressing, much of it coming from ourselves. Everything in life comes down to your attitude. If you view crossdressing positively - others will as well. If you really think about it, what’s negative about it? The crossdresser is happy. The merchants selling the clothes are happy. The wife is happy, or she should be since it’s such a harmless thing. Thinking it through, where’s the negative?
You’ll hear this: “I don’t want to have to tell my 5-year old why that old guy at the park is wearing a dress!” I used to think that was valid too. But I imagine telling my 5-year old were he to even inquire about such a thing: “That’s a man who likes to dress up like a woman. It’s fine. It’s a hobby. Don’t you worry about it!” End of discussion. I’m the adult. You’re the child.
Every time a crossdresser or trans person showed up in my salon it was mentioned over dinner that night. So it must be a positive thing if everyone’s talking about us whenever we show up!🥰
GP
@andreauk As it relates to me and to that person individually, seeing a CD/TG person out and about isn't a positive or a negative thing - it's just a person going about their life, no different than a non-CD/TG person.
In relation to society, I do view it as a positive thing. The more CD/TG people I see out in a given area tells me that the people of that area are starting to view this the way I do above and I think that's the direction humans should be moving.
We are our worst critics and are more susceptible to criticism real or not. As you say Andrea you would believe with what is in the press that there are hordes looking out for us to abuse and belittle. However, like you that is so far from reality in my experience.
You look fine and yes, under closer contact or scrutiny you could be read but the reactions seem positive. It always helps if you are out and about with a female friend as if dressed similarly the eye sees two women and even if your voice is a bit unusual it doesn't change things. Would your friend go out with you if you didn't present as you do?
Contrary to your observations that the older generation aren't as accepting I have found the opposite, especially with the women. My church has men older than me and they don't have any issue. Perhaps they see how I am accepted they take it I am a woman.
Going out solo and being part of a community has been a revelation in acceptance. I go to a group and felt a bit of an outsider at first, was it because of me being Trans and all those thoughts. The reality is you are new and they are guarded as they are with anyone new. Now I am a part of the scenery sitting chatting away about anything and everything over a coffee. To be honest some of the topics would make a man blush but after years of being out and life experience nothing phases me and can talk on many sensitive subjects.
I know some may realise and maybe some don't but in the end they see what they see and it's the person they like and if you are nice then the rest falls into place.
I have found that if you dress to blend in, take reasonable care with your makeup and mannerisms and be honest about who you are, the majority of reactions, especially from females, will be welcoming. Even if they're merely tolerant of your CD'ing, they will still be respectful.
Andrea, I just don’t think that 99.99% of the population cares how we dress any more. Things have definitely changed and even if people don’t like what they see, they aren’t going to say anything. The reason we hear a lot about it on the news is that that’s what the advertisers pay for, viewership, so they always hear the negative.