Really want to know

There is no “one size fits all”. Just communicate. Share your biggest fears with her and allow her to do the same. The questions in the back of anyone’s mind get answered by a very vivid imagination when they’re not directed to the right source.

My husband lacked the courage to open the closet door himself, so we had trust issues to work on. I’m happy to say that’s behind us now. I love him & we’ve built a beautiful life together. Makeup & dresses don’t change that. We go out often together  and when life responsibilities prevent her from being here, I do miss her.

For me, the cross dressing is no big deal. My spouse is a much happier person all around now that there are no secrets & they have the freedom to express how they see fit.
Happy life- happy wife ❤️

My wife Venus (She is a member here as well)has similar views as you, I told her a "What If" Like, what if I had hid this from you, and you find out 10 years later how would you feel?

Would you still see me as the man, would you still trust me, would you wonder what else am I hiding and so on?

I went through this with my first wife, when I hid it from her. I lied, I had excuses one right after another, the guilt was an enormous burden and I never wanted to go through that ever again.

As for Venus I told her A.S.A.P., way before things got serious.

Hippie

Hi Hippie, the first thing you said in your first paragraph is that you want to know the truth. Guess what? So do GGs! This is my biggest grind with crossdressing, the lies. Whichever way you look at it, it has caused lying in one way or the other. "What did you do today? Nothing, just sorted out paperwork" when in reality you were shopping online for female clothes. "Want to come out for drinks with X,Y,Z? Nah, would rather watching footbal" when you just want to try the new Amazon parcel that came through a couple of days ago. There are a million "little" lies that build up to one humongous lie. The result? I have no interest in understanding, accomodating or entertaining the thought. So it had the exact opposite result of what he hoped to get. If I was kept informed from the get-go about what this was to him, maybe, not certain, I could have had a more positive reaction.

I am motivated by male appearance. The female is a complete turn-off in all levels for me. If I wanted someone who looked (or felt) like a woman in my life, I would have prefered to move in with a girlfriend and have my freedom. I got together with a man because that's who I want to live with. I admire the women who welcome this in their lives (like your awesome wife) but it's not for me. Rude surprise for both my SO and myself. I see here many ways people handle that situation and hat's off to the people who manage to find a way to both get a little of what they want. And I tip my metaphorical hat to all of them with respect. Who, afterall, made a life commitment with the view to bolt if they don't get their way? On the other hand, there are deal-breakers for everyone. This is one of mine. Another one is fanatical preoccupation with following football. Or gambling. I could give you a long list. And nothing is going to change those because they are my personal boundaries. They are not up for negotiation. For most people, if I had said out of the blue that I wanted to give polyamoury a go, that would have been a deal-breaker. Imagine if I had gone ahead and given it a go behind his back. It is that level of a deal-breaker for me. It's unfortunate that we are in the position we are in, for both of us. But, hey, everything can change at a blink of an eye, right?

Edit: I forgot to add, you asked about the appropriate way to introduce this to a potential partner. With complete honesty as soon as things start getting serious, would be my suggestion. And let the chips fall where they may. Because they are entitled to say it's not for me. Acceptance of the different in society and desire to have a sexual relationship with the different are two completely separate things, not to be confused. Not wanting to invite in your bed anyone and anything does not make one a bigot. That's why compatibility in most aspects is important for long-term relationships.

I, myself would want a woman and not a man, if the situation was reversed. You know, the shoe on the other foot kinda deal. To be honest I would not like it, and yet I asked my wife to accept it. Doesn't sound fair now does it.

Say my wife of so many years sprung it on me that she wanted to crossdress and become more manly, Sure sounds kinda messed up doesn't it, but countless men do this to their wives and girlfriends all the time.

I would feel as though our relationship was a mountain of lies and betrayal. That is what happened with my first marriage. The lies and deceit, caused trust issues, thus an inevitable end to an already rocky marriage.

I did a lot of soul-searching, and understanding within myself, Crossdressing is a part of who and what I am. The crossdressing is not something I can live without. It is a part of who I am. I made the choice, to let any female that who became close to me know about this side of me. I came to the realization, she has the right to know. As you stated, It gives them the choice to stay, or leave.

With my current wife, she has known from the start. Yes she had and still does have some issues with some aspects of it. We talk things out and make compromises. I cannot lie and say it is all Roses and Cream. There are times I know she rather I didn't wear women's clothes, and I respect that.

In closing:The best policy, would be to let them know and not hide this side of one's self. It can have detrimental repercussions on both partners.

Hippie