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"I have a dream!"---Unlike Martin Luther King Jr., my dream is much simpler than ending racism although probably just as impossible. I wish my own head of hair was thick enough to style and pass in public. I'm not bald, but my hairline is further back than it should be and the hair I have is thinner than average by about 40%. It seems so many of us here can't use our real hair and most wigs simply look like wigs. How many of you can use your real hair when you go in public?
This is a relevant topic for me as I am currently, and consciously, growing my hair in order to do just that, style it myself.
I was first introduced to the concept of conscious hair growth by an old Tibetan newsagent of my acquaintance. She had noticed that my hair was suddenly much shorter than my usual 40cm-ish length and initially enquired if I had taken to boiling my head, as was the fashion at the time.
When I told her that I had, instead, engaged a local tonsorialist, she flew into a wall [Not a wall, she flew into a rage 🙄] and admonished me for risking drain bamage. (She claimed that cutting one's hair on the outside caused it to grow on the inside and strangle the brain. Ridiculous!)
But I risk digressing, so, conscious hair growth involves "pushing" the hair outwards by sheer force of will. This is not as easy as it sounds, the follicles will resist by flooding the hippocampus with images of curries, Cornish pasties and jam tarts, in an effort to distract one's attention.
But, if successful, one can expect, within only a few years, a fullsome cranial covering and thus dispense with accursed wigs and prosthetic noses. [Disclaimer: I am not now, nor ever have been, a member of the League Against False Facial Features]
Allie x
I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a full head of long medium brown hair with blond and auburn highlights. I usually wear it down but can do whatever I want with it.
/LK
This is an issue that I've been struggling with of late. I've had long hair for a lot of my life, but age is catching up. My hair is silvering - not greying of course - and thinning and receding and has been for a while now. I convince myself that it still looks ok for a few hours fresh from a wash, but I'm more and more searching the web for "hair styles for older women" . And at the same time I've drawn a blank searching for a stylist I could trust if I did go down that path.
I really ought to bite the bullet and admit there is another solution. Not sure I can say the word yet. It's spelt w-i-g.
Emma x
@emmat The graying is why I have been getting my hair colored for about 5 years now.
Cassie
@maureen76 unfortunately l am unable to grow my hair out as it's quite thin in places, l have tried wigs made of real hair but they take too much maintenance and so l am stuck with synthetic wigs, they work fine for me though
@maureen76 I wore a wig for the first couple years when I started dressing again in 2019. Since I have let my hair grow out and gotten it colored once or twice a year. My hair is now down to my breasts and the red is fading out and a couple inches of gray roots showing.
Cassie
@maureen76 Not I, while it is long enough, it's just simply to thin on top to style, and when I do try looks ridiculous
@maureen76 Having something of a bare patch on top I always thought this would be a no go for me. Also for the last decade or so I have kept it cut really short to avoid the dreaded "helmet hair" that comes with crash helmets.
Having recently sold the bike though, I thought I would give growing it out a go. I do need to engage in a "comb back" rather than a comb over to cover the balding bit up but it does seem to work without looking too weird. The one thing that does feel strange though is washing it. I had quite forgotten how moving that much hair around felt! Whether i keep going is an open question right now, we will just have to see how it pans out.
I do but it's not so great anymore. My hairline is thinning and receding too so I have to do tricks like lots of ratting or piling to make it look nice. My long blonde hair is down to my boobs. Most days I just put my hair into a ponytail and wear a hat or if I'm glamming up I usually wear a wig or front hair piece. It's just part of my dealing with old age. Marg
@margprodue Why not just be a hat lady, hats can be very elegant and sometimes sexy. Take a look at the horse races at Ascott in UK.
@clarissa2 Hi Clarissa, Actually I do have a few big hats like Sophia Loren style. My only problem is when I have to take them off or It's windy. Then the illusion is broken lol Marg
@margprodue when its windy, just tie a scarf around the hat and under your chin , I've seen Sophia do it in some movie can't remember the title though, she was driving a cabriolet
@clarissa2 Good idea. Thanks, I'll try it. BTW the movie might be The Countess From Hong Kong? Marg
@maureen76 I have enough hair, but growing it long is not something I plan on. I expect it won't look how I want it to, plus the maintenance is something I'm not keen on.
I like having the ability to change colors whenever I like (not styles, clearly I only have one of those lol).
@melodeescarlet Melodee, I've always liked your hair so much that I considered going red with my own natural hair. But for now, I'll just streak it. Marg
@gafran Ha Fran, At my age the hair is bad enough....don't want to cause any spontaneous blindness! lol Marg
I have no hope!! Maybe a small patch on either side above my ears, the rest "bald as the proverbial badgers backside".
Never used anything other than wigs.
Caty.
I have my own hair. I'm 57. I have a lot of hair, but it is very fine. It is too fine for my hairdresser to risk perming it. What she did do on my last visit was cut about 6" off it. She also styled it. I now have a female hairstyle that I can no longer tie back for male mode.
Regular cutting, encourages growth. shorter hair is also less likely to break when brushing. It's still quite long at shoulder length.... Shoulder length as it just reached the top of my shoulders.
Visit a hairdresser. Take their advice.
Weirdly, my wife won't let me use wigs, but she will let me have a permanent female hairstyle... I still can't work that out 🙂
Cerys
@dazzler Please Cerys, grown out hair is a dead structure and it is not like your lawn that it grows when cut. The old widows tale of your beard growth is stimulated by shaving is pure rubbish, a young boy often gets a shaver before his beard are fully developed and he is over the puberty this has given birth to the tale of cutting hair stimulating the growth. Sorry If I sounds rude which I don't mean to but English is not my native language.
Weirdly, my wife won't let me use wigs, but she will let me have a permanent female hairstyle... I still can't work that out
Cue armchair psychology 101: Your hair, regardless of style, is you. A wig is pretending, therefore not you.
How is she with shape wear? (Or, for that matter, how are you with it?)
@alexina Oh yes, that could be right as I know Cerys has previously said her wife won't let her use a feminine name. Now, I have been having dreams about my dead mother...
Wow! I've been having the exact same dream but, to the best of my knowledge, I never met your mother. Doo-doo Doo-doo (Theme from the Twilight Zone plays menacingly in Allie's head)
<snip>. Doo-doo Doo-doo (Theme from the Twilight Zone plays menacingly in Allie's head)
Trivia of the day. I'm not sure which of the versions is going through your head, but said theme tune was re-envisaged for the 1985 series reboot by none other than Uncle Jerry and the Grateful Dead.
Oh, it'll be the original that I remember from the sixties, I never knew the Dead had done a version.
Do you remember the voiceover that introduced either the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits? "We are taking control of your television..." Imagine if that were broadcast today, there would be mass hysteria!
I did try growing my hair a few months ago (I shave my head) but realised the futility as my scalp started to give the appearance of a patchwork quilt with an infestation of clothing moths; flocculent possibly describes the result. I went back to shaving it off and wearing wigs when dressed.
In truth, I doubt my hair, even if it had been a full head, would have lent itself to feminine styling anyway. It's nice to have scope for a different style at will.
Becca
I did try growing my hair a few months ago (I shave my head) but realised the futility as my scalp started to give the appearance of a patchwork quilt with an infestation of clothing moths.
That caused the loss of a mouthful of morning coffee 🤣
I would love to have my natural hair but all is lost lol. My wife is retired, she worked in a beauty shop doing hair for years I know she would do a wonderful job with my hair if I had any lol. The great thing about a wig it's so much easier to change color and style. Always look on the bright side.
@shelly-lynn Keep on the sunny size--always on the sunny side---keep on the sunny side of life
Sorry, boring old me, only tried wearing a wig in my car, and I just saw my late sister with a small beard. My hair has a very wide parting so no help there unfortunately.
I went straight for a wig, I had no choice really. I'm still mid-fifties, but by the time I started dressing just in recent years, my hairline was already way too far receded and the top too thin, to consider growing my hair out. The inevitable silvering was creeping upwards from around the ears and back of the neck, too. It probably still is, but having adopted femme mode by default, I now keep the sides shaved up above the tops of my ears so that no silver shows under the wig. Until it got chilly this winter, I also kept the rest of it clippered right down - I have options for grades 1.5, 0.5 or as short as it will go, which is about half a millimetre. At that length it's like Velcro under my wig, holding it in place beautifully!
In my high school days I had hair down to my shoulders and it was thick and beautiful. Alas, this3 days are long gone. It is now gray and thin and the best I could do if I grew it out is an "Old Dudes Rule" ponytail type look. Good wigs look good, and don't look like wigs if done right.
Maureen, I've got hair, down below my shoulders but it's thin, always been a problem to get that thick full body look because of that. After I shower and blow dry I can get a few good hours out of it but that's about it, it sort of works for me. My SIL though has been using I believe Folic acid, don't quote me on that, for about 2 years and has noticeably regrown and thickened her hair, she also stopped dying her hair around the same time and has let it go naturally grey. She is 6 years older than I am and it worked for her, so I'm going to give it a try and see if I can thicken my hair at least.
I'll let you know if it worked
Sherri
I had long hair in my youth up until I was about 30. Then for some unknown reason I began to cut it shorter and shorter. During Covid and being retired my wife suggested I let it grow again. I did and for 2 years it was untouched.
Unfortunately It wasn't the same. Genetics and time had taken their toll and while it was long and natural it was not what I wished it would become. I tried toppers to fill in the areas that were sparse but hated the way they looked. Sadly I am relegated to my wigs. Now I am in search of a shop that will have a natural looking Human Hair or Blend wig that will make me feel the way I desire to feel.
At present, my Joanna persona wears a wig, as per my photos. I am growing out my own hair, which is a mixture of blonde and ‘arctic blonde’ (oh all right then, white!), to just below shoulder length. My hairdresser will then give me a feminine cut- it will mostly be tied back when I’m in drab mode.
I’m hoping this works out as I find wigs uncomfortably hot in summer.
Joanna
I keep my own hair cut short. My auburn hair is now mostly grey and is thinner than it was. The advantage of wearing a wig is I can easily match hair to outfit and have hair any length that I want.
