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For those of us who feel we must dress male most of the time, but we love feeling feminine, what are some specific stealth clothes and products you suggest. If you have a brand/color, that could helpful.
For example, in a recent conversation about nail polish, it was said that very light pink can be stealth. I for one have purchased about ten bottles and nine didn’t work for me. I’m putting on Ella + Mila right now, the sheer shade Pure. One coat is almost invisible and satin. You can build to an obvious pink.
What are your favorite stealth clothes or makeup or anything else?
@kristacrawford1967 In general, any underwear, by the very nature of how it is worn, is stealthy. Exceptions to this are bra colours that can bleed through tops, detectable straps, and a shape that give it all away. Stockings/ pantyhose can be worn secretly, until their rubbing noises, or what sticks out from the cuff of your pants, give it away. Crew neck or turtle neck tops can be stealthy, but women's tops can be dead giveaways. Flowery tops, both literally and figuratively, are not stealthy.
As for skin-coloured nail polish, don't go towards pink or orange. Going towards a light brown* is closer, even though it is too early in the year to have a tan. I will see how it works during the summer. Also, if you only put on one layer of a translucent polish, there won't be enough colour to hide the lunula - the whiter arc at the nail's base. Two layers will likely hide it - a giveaway.
* Sally Hansen's #827 Sheer Brown Bare
Maybe someone can suggest a good matte clear polish, as a protective overcoat.
Snug jeans work and the stretchy material feels amazing! I wish that I knew about that stuff years ago.
Stealthy shoes can be a problem. Even though they are at the opposite end of our bodies from our faces, you can't stop people from looking down. I find casual, neutral coloured slip-on shoes can work - if you can find your size. Heels and no-lace shoes and boots are more noticeable, too, block heels less so.
A tip from Paper Moon: people assess another person through their shoes. If yours look worn, ratty or dirty, it is a telltale sign as to how things are going with you.
Ambiguous women's shirts are fairly common, if the body and sleeve lengths are long enough. Colour choice and transparency will matter, for sure. Selecting a checked pattern instead of a solid colour can help camouflage breasts bumps.
Right now, I am wearing a black terry material jacket. I find that dark colour and rough surface are good camouflage, even if it is old.
@harriette I love this reply! It not only has terrific advice, but also opens up an opportunity for more great conversation. To start, I asked that question not only for me, but for others in different situations.
Slowly my tips have evolved from bright men’s dress shirts to ones with pretty patterns to men’s floral shirts to women’s blouses. My wife just bought me a beautify black shirt with large red rises on it!
Nail polish fascinates me and I noticed the diversity in color. Some find skin color and light brown blend in. My nails have always been slightly pink. Anything slightly white is glaring on my nails. I’m so glad you shared your fav color, surely better than mine for some gals.
I'm failing with shoes but I do have a pair of black women's loafers with a small silver “buckle” in my Amazon cart.
I’m wearing shirts with shorter sleeves or pushing them so I can wear bracelets in the privacy of my office. Once I wore them for a meeting. Damn if the sky did not fall!
@kristacrawford1967 The area under my nails look a bit pink, too, but I think that you will find it difficult to find a pinkish nail polish that won't draw attention to itself.
@harriette I’m really happy with the polish in my OP. It’s so not noticeable that go with two coats, because I like people to wonder without being sure. Is he or isn’t he? Wrong pronouns, of course. She is!
Another practice with long backed women's shirts is to tuck them into your pants. Doing so hides an obvious design difference. You don't have to wear them untucked.
As for skin-coloured nail polish, don't go towards pink or orange or coral. Going towards a light brown* is closer, even though it is too early in the year to have a tan.
* Sally Hansen's #827 Sheer Brown Bare
Today, I went back to the store where I got this incognito nail polish and looked for the same sales clerk that suggested this Sally Hansen colour. She was with another customer, so I waited until she came to help me. She remembered me and I thanked her for suggesting such a close match. I then showed her the nail polish on my thumb. She was appreciative and awarded me with a big smile.
It never hurts to thank someone for a job well done. She's on my side, now. 😉
@kristacrawford1967 Stealth for me is going through life with painted toe nails. I typically wear bright colours of clothes anyway and my denim jacket has a hand-made brooch on it which is a red-haired girl in glasses which those who know know that she is called "Mini Anna"
@kristacrawford1967
Last year I was going to my Church wearing women's black pants, black blazer, white or lavender top and black flats. The pants and blazer looked similar to men's wear. I quit this dressing style back in September when I first wore a dress to my Church and have been going there dressed fully fem since.
Cassie
@kristacrawford1967 More often than not I'm wearing women's clothes. I'm usually in women's jeans (last year I was wearing boot cut jeans, after losing weight I'm wearing straight cut jeans). I have to put my wallet and sometimes my phones (work and personal) in the back pockets. I'm usually wearing a solid color women's tee shirt, either long sleeve or short sleeve. Even though the V neck is probably a bit deeper than men's, or sometimes is split at the waist, or the back is slightly longer than the front, and the colors are probably richer than drab men's wear, I haven't been questioned.
I'm usually wearing women's low rise socks, although when it's colder and I'm not going to the gym I may wear "extra long" socks (i.e., tights). I'm usually wearing a women's flat slip-on shoe that's pretty plain. I may wear a women's cardigan or jeans jacket in the in-between months. I've worn longer women's shorts for working out in the gym. In bad weather (a lot of rain or snow), I've worn boots with my pants over it.
My hair has been long for a while (well past my shoulders), but I did lose some last year due to illness. Despite it's length, it is very thin. I've also gotten my ears pierced, and I've been wearing earrings that are slightly feminine without being overtly so.
A few years ago I got a black eye, and wore a touch of makeup for a week to help diminish it. A few weeks ago I had to get a CT scan after work. Not wanting to have to be bothered undressing and putting on a gown for the scan, I wore women's leggings to work, carrying a bare minimum of necessities in a fanny pack. Because the leggings have no metal zipper, buttons, rivets or gromets, I could wear it for the scans.
I thought of another stealth lip fav. Both Chubby Stick and Chapsticks lip oil can be worn in public. The color and shimmer are almost invisible, but not quite and I know it’s there.
@kristacrawford1967 A few days ago, I went into a Mark's store. In Canada, it is an interesting store with both gender's clothing. Good quality, maybe similar to a worker's Eddie Bauer. I didn't even look at the men's side.
There were a few racks with solid colour shirts and I looked over most of them. I need a bigger variety of tops. This is an outlet store, so they had 2for1 deals and I picked up a handful of them. Short sleeved T-shirts, long enough long sleeve Ts, hidden snap front. Pleased as peach; I will go back for more.
Stealth deals? Look around, have an open mind, make things work for you.
Krista, I like to use a clear coat on nails. Makeup, I find I can apply neutral shades on eyes and brow and a very light shade of pink on lips, also you can use natural shade of power on face. I think it looks good and people never seem to notice.
Lynne
@lillie I love it! I have not tried this yet. Can you suggest some brands and shades?
@kristacrawford1967
Krista, Mirabella Romance Eyeshadow Collection and Mirabella IV and III pure press and they have different brow powders. You can go to their web site and look. They also have and app where you can try on different shades using your computer, it can be fun. It is a little higher price than some, but they do have good sales. You can also go to your local Ulta, they have many nice natural pallets.
I really like the app because you can play around with different looks.
Let me know if this works for you.
Lynne
@lillie I’m going to their site right now. Thank you! Sounds fun! I’m guessing when you say brow powders you mean powders that cover hair? My brows are so thin that I need to enhance them. Half the brow, toward the outside of my face, isn’t visible
*** I added the collection to my wish list but I could not find the app. You said it’s for a computer so maybe it’s not for iPhone.
@kristacrawford1967 Yes, it is a power that you apply to your brows and can help in shaping them.
@kristacrawford1967 Krista, I went to the site, for some reason virtual try on tool in not working, but I did see that the pallet I was talking about is on sale.
Lynne
@lillie Yes, same. It’s also the standard price on Amazon. I’m excited to get it.
I seem to get away with womens jeans & straight leg pants, long sleeved tops in kinda less bold colours, womens sneakers, again in less bold colours. I also find that a pull-over sports bra disappears under my tops. Clear, or skin coloured nail varnish seems to work for me too.
I seem to get away with womens jeans & straight leg pants
YES! The pantlegs of women's pants are also dead giveaways. Many legs are really wide, or too short, or too flared to be men's wear. Any one of these will let people clock you. So will elastic waistbands and no front zipper.
A really short rise or no belt loops may also let the cat out of the bag, depending on other things.
If you find a brand name pair of jeans that works for you, you can rebuy them in the future by using the same number. Classic jean styles don't normally change.
@harriette I appreciate this post. These are the kinds of pants I like to try. I wear a really safe shirt and pants that push the limit. I kind of want people to notice, but with rest of me quite male, they say nothing. I keep getting braver.
@harriette I agree with you on the pant legs up to a point. The first femme pants I ever bought were advertised as for wearing with heels. The inside leg measurement was the same as mine so I gave them a try. They worked well for me, straight leg style, zip fly, cargo pockets (as was fashionable back then) and belt loops. I have since bought femme Dickies work pants and Lee boot cut jeans (they are not as wide as flares). I have found leg lengths 32" or 33" work for me and medium rise is better than the other choices. An old beer belly doesn't really help low rise pants to stay put. LOL
I never thought of people looking to see if my jeans had a zip, I don't look at people that closely, so it's not something that I would ever notice.
@michaela2001 One pair of jeans has an elastic waistband, no zipper and wide flares. Not necessarily my best choice. 🤪
They do look good, though. Maybe not on me.
Hi Krista,
I've tried a couple of natural looking polishes but they were too obvious so thanks for sharing your research. I will give Ella + Mila a try. I love to put a nice dark red color on my toes since they stay hidden.
@michellemybell Me too and red toenails look amazing sticking out through white bubbles in the tub.
I have to wear a suit and a tie at work and I regularly wear a panty girdle with opaque tights in black, blue or brown as they are indistinguishable from socks. I just love the feeling.
For years, I tried to find and wear things that would seem "normal", yet were really feminine.
Women's sneakers, with a tinge of purple or pink. Women's t-shirts, solid black, as undershirts. Brief panties could look like men's briefs. Women's flip flops. Women's belts. Women's trouser socks. Women's leggings under jeans. Thin, unpadded bras, not visible at all. Women's low-cut boots. Lately, women's cardigans.
I am always underdressed, but I do try to adjust my drab clothes with femininity. As you say, sneakers with pink trim, unisex bracelets, sometimes a splash of perfume, and so on.
Also, I rarely wear drab socks, instead choosing to let my stockings show between my shoes and trousers.
I currently don’t have any women’s jeans (trousers I mean, of course I have a jean skirt), but I used to wear them in preference to men’s jeans, they were so much more comfortable (or am I just imagining that?). Maybe I should go and get another pair. No one ever notices.
In the summer I often wear baggy cotton trousers which look like I’m wearing a long skirt, which I like.
Happy dressing
Hugs
Christine
I will on occasion underdress in panties and wear female sweat pants. Sweat pants are kind of funny as they are pretty much the same between female and male, the main difference I see (other than prints) is the waist band and tie. Female sweats tend to have a wider waist band and the tie is on the outside, sometimes the leg is wiser. I've also worn knee highs along with a pair of black ankle boots. My wife was with me when I got the ankle boots and said I could wear those anytime as they look like short cowboy boots. The heel is about the same height as cowboy boots. When I've worn them no one has said anything. I have color on my toes when it isn't sandal season - I currently have robins egg blue and have had red, pink and green. I've also had hearts for Valentines Day. My fingers get clear with a very faint pink. I did get color on them the last time we went for mani-pedi's that I thought was flesh color but was a bit darker than I thought once on so only wore it for a short period of time before taking it off. My ears are pierced and I wear studs or small hoops most of the time, when home I will wear dangling earrings. I have worn dangling ones out a few times but not often. I always wear a necklace with a couple charms on it and a couple generic bracelets.
XOXO
Suzanne
Check out Sally Hansen Rainbow rave Xtreme wear. Ot is a very light pink if not applied too heavily and just disappears except for a sligjt shimmer. It can appear pink in really bright sunlight, but indoors is nearly inderectable. Added a second coat makes it stand out a bit more, and diluting it with a clear polish makes it.evem mpre stelathy. I wore it regularly for 6 months before my wife noticed.
My other favorite femme wear item are Levi women's jeans. They are jist about all I wear when I wear long pants.
Lastly, I have a few different lipsticks that are very suntle that I can wear en homme. I love wearing lipstick. The creamy texture is so mich better then greasy/waxy lip balm, and it is abouy 10X better for trating and preventing chapped lips. One of the colors is call.Amethyst, but it all depends on your natural lip tone. I simply went into a Mac store and asked for a stealth color and the SA helped me pock out a good color.
Of.course, wearing lingerie under your drab colors.is a mist, and I.wear panties exclusively now for many, many years.
This is an interesting thread, thanks for suggesting it. I have transitioned to wearing only women’s clothing and I find it fits me better than men’s clothes and I find it more comfortable and I feel better wearing them. There are lots of clothing you can buy that are not obvious and allow you the pleasure of wearing women’s clothing. I often wear women’s flared yoga pants and no one seems to notice.
as mentioned, lip gloss or chapstick or a very neutral shade of lipstick can be stealthy. Going to an event I will use a subtle makeup like a clear foundation with a bit of powder can enhance your features without being a dead giveaway.
Be bold and be creative. Eventually you’ll find yourself wearing clothes you never imagined. By the way, thanks for all the tips girls!
When wearing jeans they are always women's jeans. No one notices them and I have been wearing them for years. Polo's are another item that no one notices if it is a gender specific top. Torrid has these sneakers called Riley Runched sneaker, I wear these and no one knows they are from Torrid. Cami's are another item that you can wear all the time as well as yoga shorts. In the hot summer when I am outside in the yard I wear butterfly shorts, they are so comfortable and just yummy feeling. Nail polish, I like to have French Tips, the base coat is very light pink with a narrow ultra white band at the tip. I get a lot of compliments on my nails, but only from women.
During Covid when we were required to wear masks at work, I would wear lipstick under my mask. Some days I will wear Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer Champaign color. I seem to be able to get away with it.
