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Why I’ve stopped wearing women’s clothes – and you should try it, too

58 Posts
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Posts: 4016
Lady
Topic starter
(@harriette)
Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 2 years ago

Good grief!

Just now, I came across this topic's title in The Independent. It is from a woman who is giving up wearing feminine clothes and using make-up, trying not to live up to the expectations of men.

Why I’ve stopped wearing women’s clothes – and you should try it, too, by Lauren Bulla.

I can understand not wanting to use make-up, Lauren, but can I have first dibbs on your clothes?

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57 Replies
31 Replies
Guest
(@Anonymous 99367)
Joined: 3 months ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 20

@harriette Interesting article. There does seem to be a wider agenda in play there. As the writer says "Fashion is just one of the ways young women like me are actively decentering men from our lives."

As for us, I suspect it could only be good. I'd similarly be very positive about any woman who doesn't want to wear make-up and prefers trousers. And, an issue that's also present in the article, a world where people are respectful of others.

If it was no more eccentric than wearing a bow-tie, I'd probably wear a skirt or dress a couple of times a week. Any steps towards a world where clothes choices are our own to make is progress, IMHO.

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Lady
(@lamm)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 415

@martha if it was considered no more eccentric for me to wear a skirt than a bow tie, then I would probably wear a skirt most, if not every day. Apart from anything else, I just find skirts much more comfortable to wear than pants.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

Just out of curiosity, I searched for her name and LGBTQ, to see if she associated herself in any way.

Nope. Unrelated.

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Ambassador
(@gafran)
Joined: 9 months ago

Noble Member     Warner Robins, Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 1138

@harriette 

 I'd say she's full of Bulla! 

Fran 🥰 

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(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 1 year ago

Honorable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 313

@gafran I'm with you, Fran

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Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@harriette Oh my thats just going to make a hell of alot more of us out there. RC

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@harriette 

I'm not going to read that nonsense.  I have better things to do with my time.  Like choosing whatever the hell I want to wear for ME and me alone!  Ms. Bulla should try that sometime.

/LK

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(@dovemtn2016)
Joined: 1 year ago

Honorable Member     Tucson, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 313

@lizk I'm with you all the way, Liz.

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Ambassador
(@gafran)
Joined: 9 months ago

Noble Member     Warner Robins, Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 1138

@lizk 

She needs to take lessons from us. She could actually enjoy presenting as a feminine woman!

Apparently the Pink Fog did a drive by and no one was home!

Fran 🥰 

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3859

@gafran 

Posted by: @gafran

Apparently the Pink Fog did a drive by and no one was home!

More likely the shields were up....

 

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Ambassador
(@gafran)
Joined: 9 months ago

Noble Member     Warner Robins, Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 1138

@lizk 

 Right O! Girl Power lives at CDH! 

 The force is strong in these girls! 🥰

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Duchess Annual
(@robertaf)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Louisiana, United States of America
Posts: 1062

@harriette She obviously never found any joy in femininity or the excitement in feminine clothing.

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Lady
(@lamm)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 415

@robertaf seems to me that young females are hard focused on wanting to be more and more like men. It’s fine with me as long as the reciprocal agreement applies to me.

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1209

@harriette I don't wear women's clothes anymore either.....I wear my clothes!   Just so happens that they are clothes that women would commonly wear but they're mine.  I do it for me and this includes makeup.  If I like what I see in the mirror, I'm happy.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

@lauren114 I like that perspective. Maybe I  can convince my wife of that, some day. 😇

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Lady
(@lamm)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 415

@lauren114 Absolutely agree. I don’t borrow clothing. The only clothes I wear are the ones that I own which makes them my clothes. It matters not which sex they were intended for, if I wear them, if I own them, then they are mine.

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Lady
(@jillleanne)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 605

@harriette Maybe she might want to look around her and notice women have long since stopped looking like a woman, as we have defined , over the years.  To see a female wearing heels and hose, never mind makeup, etc. is now relegated to a few anymore. Just the way it is. I really doubt we need her explanation as to their choices or why. Different strokes for different folks. I’ll take her shoe collection.

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(@geniv_cd)
Joined: 8 years ago

Reputable Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 260

@jillleanne So very true Jill. I have lamented that too many GG’s totally waste their femininity. They have ceased to take some personal pride in being feminine it would seem. I love how Latin women do the opposite! They take great care to be well dressed, made up and feminine!

Happy Woman Face

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

Laura has gender identity issues. I tried looking up if she has had any relationships to the LGBTQ community a while ago. There were none mentioned. I found no reference to her relationships or mates. She did write, recently, about that community, but only once. That doesn't mean that she is not part of that community; if she is, she hasn't flaunted it.

She says, partly maybe not wholly, that she wants to dress more genderless, gender neutrally or androgynously, to avoid contact with males, but she doesn't flesh that idea out. Why and why does she want to live like that?

If she doesn't want male attention, or even their company entirely, then what is going on? Who is in her personal life? Only females? Nobody? She wrote about a song entitled "Nobody".

According to public images, she now dresses down or casually, cut her long hair to no more than shoulder length. Boyish looking? Not really. Men aren't avoiding her because of what she is wearing or her looks, that's for sure. She isn't unattractive. Something else must be going on. Maybe self-confidence issues?

She, a person writing about and who is involved in the fashion industry, doesn't seem to be particularly interested in pretense. Really? That may be part of what now turns her off of wearing feminine looking fashions now, even though she wore them earlier.

She also gives evidence for fashion houses going in gender neutral and androgynous style directions. We all know that fashion trends are fleeting and temporary, so how long can this cycle last? We lament here that women have been doing this more and more, so some sort of trend has been going on, for a while anyway. Are designers just catching on now? Does that also mean that designers will release skirts and dresses for men, too? Since doing so wouldn't stop women from wearing them, that would make them part way gender neutral, wouldn't it? What would Lauren have to say about that?

She says that she is doing this because she doesn't want to dress for the expectations of men, but a lot of women dress to impress other women, too. Sooo ...?

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Duchess Annual
(@emmat)
Joined: 9 months ago

Prominent Member     I don't do cities ;-), Powys, United Kingdom
Posts: 336

@harriette 

 

Just a gentle tease everyone. Don't beat me up 😉  And I'm definitely not defending influencers who seem more interested in making click bait than making sense, but ...

 

I'm wondering if I should submit an opinion piece to the Indy too.  It might earn me a few pennies. I won't try and think anything through, I'll just plagiarise Lauren Bulla original piece.  The title will be 

Why I’ve stopped wearing men’s clothes – and you should try it, too

I'll include a photo of me in gender neutral clothes but quite obviously male. I'll even tweak her original  caption to read

‘It’s felt strangely bold – transgressive, even – to dress in “girl clothes” and embrace alternative haircuts’ (Emma T  Bulla)

But here's the kicker. I don't need to make it up. With just one or two exceptions, as needs must, I stopped wearing the 'definitive' male staple of  suits, collars and ties for well over 50 years (yes, I'm that old.) There's been no such clothing in my wardrobe for a long long time.  I just couldn't and can't be doing with it. And my hair has always been non standard shall we say. But that's just me.

So, heaven forbid that I stray from the path. I can kind of see where this Lauren character is coming from. It seems to me that she's just heading towards non binary but trying too hard to rationalise it - because of course,  if you're an influencer you have to say something provocative.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

@emmat Go for it, Emma! If nothing else than to find out how the Independent responds.

And I am not exactly sure yet that she deserves to be called an influencer. I didn't bother looking up her numbers.

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Lady
(@trudi)
Joined: 4 months ago

Eminent Member     Central part, Kansas, United States of America
Posts: 14

@emmat 

Do it and keep us posted.

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@harriette - at last! Fiction has become a reality. For a glimpse of this dystopian future you should watch the 1980s British comedy TV show, 'The Two Ronnies'. Each series contained a mini-serial, one of which depicted a world that had been taken over by a fascist army of women (the Feminazis) where men were forced to wear dresses and have female names. Although I seem to remember watching it and wishing I could look like one of the Feminazis - look it up and you might see why!

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(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 618

@sunnyday Haha, yes indeed Alli, although I'm not so keen on how the men looked. The girls still got the best outfits! 🙂

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@caroline2k - I know. And at one point in my dressing career I actually had a pair of tight, shiney PVC shorts and a shiney, cropped, black PVC jacket. Must have been a sub-conscious influence! 😊 

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

@sunnyday YouTube doesn't seem to have any of the Two Ronnie's Feminazi skits.

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@harriette - I'll see if I can find anything and report back. 😊

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@harriette - Search on The Two Ronnies - The Worm That Turned. That was the name of the mini-serial. There are 8 parts available. I must watch them all again 🤣 

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Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Joined: 4 years ago

Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Posts: 624

@sunnyday Thanks for suggesting this British comedy.  It is fun to watch and I love fantasizing about living in such a world but with the men looking much prettier and better dressed.  There was a well written book published back in the 70's called Regiment of Women by Thomas Berger that had a similar theme with women running the world and men completely feminized.  I really enjoyed that book and it is still available on Amazon.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

@michellemybell I seem to remember a Dr Who episode like that, too. Maybe.

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@harriette - hmm. Don't remember that one. However, I do remember much to admire in the outfits of The Doctor's female assistants in the late sixties/early seventies. And don't get me started on the way the women were dressed in 'Star Trek' and 'Lost in Space'. Could be a whole new Forum topic! 🤣

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Posts: 624
Duchess
(@michellemybell)
Noble Member     Clearwater, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I think women should all revolt against wearing feminine clothes and insist that men wear them instead.  Let the men see how it feels to have to wear makeup and care for long hair, shave themselves smooth, let their nails grow and keep them polished.  Let them see how it feels to wear heels and have us stare at their breasts and treat them like sex objects.  A man should look forward to his wedding day when he gets to be the center of attention and have everyone comment how beautiful he looks in his gorgeous wedding gown.

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4 Replies
Lady
(@lamm)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 415

@michellemybell

Yes Please🤗 It sounds like absolute heaven to me.

I already know what it’s like to wear makeup, I do it regularly. Similarly, In know what it’s like to have my own hair long enough to touch the middle of my back. I love my legs to be shaved silky smooth, to grow my own nails and wear acrylics with nail art. I adore heels as much as any woman - love what 4 or 5 inch heels do for my legs and derrière lol. I also know what it’s like not only to have people stare at my moobs but to have people grope me - I’ve had this done by both man and women.

Whilst I don’t really think of myself as being trans, I would absolutely love the tables being turned with women seeing me as the object of their desire. To be in the role of (male) bride, to be treated like the bride, to look like the bride would be such a total rush. 

To be sure, I really can’t understand why women want to be more like men when being a woman can be a position with so many advantages. I know it’s not utopia and being a male also has advantages but if I was given the choice of being masculine or feminine, I would choose feminine in a heartbeat.

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(@mirandam)
Joined: 3 months ago

Estimable Member     Bay Area, California, United States of America
Posts: 77

@michellemybell this is one of the things I appreciate the most about my dual identity - I have some idea, however small, about the care it takes to look feminine.  Granted i do it for myself and not for others, but it has made me respect deeper what my lovely wife does.

so many men expect women to tire endlessly to be pleasing to their eyes rather than appreciate the beauty of women from both inside and outside.  

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Lady
(@jillleanne)
Joined: 2 years ago

Prominent Member     Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 605

@michellemybell yes, yes, please!

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@michellemybell - what a fabulous thought 🤣

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Posts: 1019
Duchess
(@gracepal)
Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 5 months ago

See Harriette, this type of attitude from that article you cite is one of the reasons why I crossdress. Even GG’s don’t want to be full time women anymore!🤣 And yet another shining example of women wearing whatever they please with zero repercussions on their choices. Total double standard for us.

Ah, but then again - life’s not fair. And if every man could dress like a woman with no repercussions - we’d have a lot more sisters wouldn’t we? Then the question would arise for me…”Do I still want to do this if everyone’s doing it now?” Knowing myself, probably not.

On the plus side, there is a heckuva lot more androgynous and unisex stuff we can get for our underdressing days when we don’t feel like “wearing women’s clothes” either🥰 There’s always a silver lining.

GP

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3 Replies
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4016

Posted by: @gracepal

See Harriette, this type of attitude from that article you cite is one of the reasons why I crossdress. Even GG’s don’t want to be full time women anymore!

Well, we have to admit that this is just another  example of others (in this case us) telling women what they should and should not do.

Every now and then I remember a sci-fi paperback that I read in which one of the author's ideas was that the story's timeline was so far into the future that all of humanity had interbred so much that there were no individual races anymore. We all looked alike.

Maybe something similar will happen to our fashions.

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Duchess
(@gracepal)
Joined: 5 months ago

Noble Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Posts: 1019

@harriette I would think that by now, every man has realized that telling women what they should or should not do will be completely disregarded by the woman in question. My wife’s favorite thing to say: “You’re not the boss of me!” 

My new favorite reply: “No sweetie, I’m certainly not. Now while you’re out I’ll be trying on dresses🥰”

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Lady
(@sunnyday)
Joined: 2 years ago

Estimable Member     Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 139

@gracepal - I think Grayson Perry noted tnat the fun went out of crossdressing for him when the risk went out of it too - i.e. he became known for being openly crossdressing. Perhaps he gets his fun now through either being outrageous - dressing to receive his knighthood or a piece of walking art.

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Posts: 1335
(@rebeccabaxter)
    Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

I think this Lauren Bulla hasn't really understood her own sex. True, women sometimes dress and wear makeup for men but IMHO, I think most of the time they dress well for themselves and other women. Let's face it, while men like a well-dressed and sexy woman, it's probably not a deal breaker, sex-wise, if they aren't looking their best. For some men, if she 'puts out' she could wear a bin bag. There are women in my village who wear joggers and a jumper, they are overweight, have bad teeth and lank hair--they also drag 5 kids around with them, so looks didn't matter to someone!

Becca

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Posts: 934
Lady
(@ashleigh)
Noble Member     Ocala, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Interesting take on this topic. I must admit I can totally relate to the author. I have many days when I just don’t feeling like dressing like a man.😉

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Posts: 485
Lady
(@cherylt)
Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Joined: 7 months ago

Reminds me of when women burned their bras. Then somehow they stopped and everything went back to what it was.

If she feels that way, then do it. I don't feel I'm doing this for anyone but myself. I enjoy expressing my femininity. I enjoy feeling pretty, looking pretty and maybe a little sexy too. I feel good when I do. If she doesn't that's up to her.

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3 Replies
Guest
(@Anonymous 99367)
Joined: 3 months ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 20

@cherylt I'd agree - the individual choice part of her narrative is good. 

For the rest of it, who knows. Maybe it's just youthful rebellion. Maybe it's a more lasting change.

When you mention bra burning (who would want to burn my favourite item!), I remember reading an article by one of that generation of feminists (I think it was Germaine Greer).

She was reflecting on how, when she was young, she honestly thought the next generation of women would have no need for handbags. They just wouldn't have the need for all that stuff. And what essentials they did need to carry they'd keep in the deep pockets of their trousers.

She certainly hadn't foreseen women spending chunky amounts on designer handbags.

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Lady
(@cherylt)
Joined: 7 months ago

Prominent Member     Honesdale, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Posts: 485

@martha And women quickly went back to wearing bras and all the other things they felt kept them "repressed" like high heels and skirts.

 

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Lady
(@lamm)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 415

 @cherylt I read somewhere the other day that for every woman who wants to burn her bra, there is a man who wants to wear one.

I don’t think that this is a true reflection. I would say that there are far more men who want to wear a bra than that. I’m one of them. I not on only want to wear bras, I wear one regularly 🤗

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Posts: 3445
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

It's a fashion, lifestyle call it what you will. She is dressing for herself as are the influencers at the other end of the spectrum who enhance and exude a doll like look. She is doing exactly what the influencers are doing encouraging followers and keep themselves relevant.

To know where fashion lay with women see what is in store for young girls and ladies, this will tell you what is hot or not. Androgyny is not new, remember Uni sex in the 70's? She has masculinised herself but is easily seen as a female and agree perhaps less attractive.

She has a point that she is less likely to be hit on by men but her generation is now 'woke' and perhaps men are more cautious towards women. 

If a new generation of crossdressers looked masculine, the stores stopped selling dresses and feminine attire, Victoria secrets go bust then I will worry.

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Posts: 763
Duchess
(@jennconn)
Noble Member     Florida, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Harriette, it says that I should stop wearing women’s clothes, which I won’t do, then it goes on to say, you should try it too.  I think I’ll give wearing women’s clothes a try like it says, I’ve heard it’s lots of fun.

seriously though, why can’t women just try to look nice.  It’s so refreshing when I see a GG out dressed up with the full package, makeup heels, and nice dress.  There’s nothing wrong with it.  But maybe crossdressing as guys is just more accepted that men’s crossdressing is.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@lamm)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     Manchester, Lancashire, United Kingdom
Posts: 415

@jennconn They don’t even class women dressing as men as cross dressing. It’s become the normal thing for women to do.

Like you, I think that seeing a woman who has taken the time and effort to get dressed up in the full fem package is refreshing. It’s the kind of look that used to leave me gob-smacked and deeply appreciative of her. I guess it’s the kind of look that most of us on here would love to be able to pull off and be convincing.

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Posts: 1797
Baroness Annual
(@d44)
Famed Member     New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I definitely dress for how I want to appear. I don't care what men think as long as they believe I blend in well as just other middle-aged women. I do however care what women think of my look. It doesn't get any better than to get a sincere complement from a woman. Knowing that all the work you have done in learning women's clothing, makeup and mannerisms has reached a point where you are getting positive input from the experts is an enjoyable experience.

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Posts: 19
(@genievive)
Eminent Member     Syracuse, New York, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

For those women who wish to dispose of their femininity and dress more like a male; let them! We will just have to fill the void that they have left behind, doing our best to fill that void with a beautiful expression of our own choice of dressing.

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Posts: 71
 Lisa
Lady
(@lisagurlll)
Estimable Member     Diamond Bar, California, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I think it’s sad when I see or hear of a woman giving up on her appearance and desire to look pretty and feminine. It always makes me wonder who or what soured them on wanting to look and feel pretty.

When I hear them say they are done with trying to dress up or impress others, I just see a lack of self esteem  and or sense some bitterness on their part. I’m sure they have their reasons and feel justified, but I just personally find it sad. 😕

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Posts: 170
Lady
(@leslienix)
Reputable Member     Southport, Merseyside, United Kingdom
Joined: 7 months ago

I gave up wearing male clothes,now I wear my clothes... 🤩

 

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Posts: 20
Guest
(@Anonymous 99367)
Eminent Member
Joined: 3 months ago

don't have time to read all the fuss about this so here what's happening. since most of you never leave the house after dark. i do. i'm out in the bars till 1 in the morning. no i don't drink. i play pool dressed. everyone here is a guy, believe it or not. so you don't know. young women come up to me and talk to me all the time. they know I'm a guy too, but also a cd. they talk to me because they find me harmless. they tell me how a lot of guys are pigs. probably because they were raised on the internet and porn. no respect for women and they are treated poorly. most women i see carry a knife. they probably dress down so as not to get hit on. most of the time i see a woman dressed sexy is when they are on a date with a guy or with a bunch of women on a girls night out. i think a lot of them date other women because there is less abuse. everywhere i go women seem to love cds. they love it that i can talk about clothes, shoes, pedicures and other women stuff. when have you ever heard a man talk about women stuff? you think its tough being a cd woman, its harder being a real woman. remember they have deeper feelings than a man has. 

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2 Replies
Lady
(@leslienix)
Joined: 7 months ago

Reputable Member     Southport, Merseyside, United Kingdom
Posts: 170

@prettytoes And then you woke up

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Guest
(@Anonymous 99367)
Joined: 3 months ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 20

@leslienixyour probably one of those that never leaves the house.

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Posts: 193
(@jessicacynthia)
Reputable Member     London, United Kingdom
Joined: 2 months ago

The Great Female Renunciation?

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