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I haven’t been allowed to do the things I want to do ever. I have been manipulated and bullied at every turn. I don’t even know who I am. I have become a bad person. All I ever wanted to do was be accepted for me. It was never meant to be. I have been pushed into a box and left to die. Truly.
sometimes it feels like maybe it’s going to stop. Like maybe I will be able to do the things I want. It’s never the case. Everything is happening exactly like it happened two years ago. Two years ago I revealed this side of myself and a month later I was in the hospital and being gaslit. Now it’s happening again. There’s nobody I can trust in this world.
@itsokayiguess Eli, you have thousands of new friends on this forum ,here 24/7 to talk and listen honey, you are definitely not alone so please reach out , we are all here for you
@itsokayiguess it's ashame when society dictates who we must be, I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and I to must be careful to fit in, not as I want to be but as they expect me as they want.
Later dear, Lily
@gloria50 I live in a place where dysfunction is seemingly enforced. Every family is split apart. This fracturing promotes something insidious. I see people being told to act this way when they’re here, now act this way because you’re here. It’s too much for me. There are low men and women controlling this burn. Why not just put out the fire. It’s sick out here. I have to run and hide online to feel any semblance of normality.
@itsokayiguess
Hey Eli
We've already chatted, but I haven't yet given you a formal welcome to CDH 🙂
This is an incredibly warm and supportive site for the CD/TG community. The girls here are very open and understanding and it's a great place to make friends. The replies to your intro post are already showing you that.
There's lots to explore. Make yourself at home, and if you need help with navigating anything then just shout.
Ellie
@ellyd22 it’s good to hear from you again Ellie. Thanks for the reassurance. The community really is one of a kind.
@itsokayiguess
Eli,
Much of what you wrote resonates.
I remember the extreme intolerance. The nauseating 'concern' for my welfare. Being force fed a dogma that was alien to my being. Being in 'therapy' that twisted my reality. Losing my identity. All insidiously packaged to instill a new belief system. To be someone I'm not.
It was awful. And it didn't work.
You are not alone. We are your sisters. We have your back.
You can do this. You can heal. And you can overcome. It will take some work. But life will get better.
There are a lot of girls here that've turned their lives around. Humbly, I'm one of them. I wouldn't be where I am without the sisterhood I found here. The life I have today was unimaginable 10 years ago.
CDH changes lives. Stick around. We can help.
/EA
You are not alone anymore, Eli.
Now you are part of a nice family, who understands you, supports you and loves you. Being entangled in the middle of a hypocritical and intolerant society is, without a doubt, a great calamity. But we can always find a light at the end of the tunnel and we can move towards it step by step. You should be allowed to do the things you want to do. I have lived it and I understand you. You are not a bad person. You are beautiful and this world needs you. Keep it in mind!
Welcome to CDH. Here you can find help and comprehension.
Gisela.
You are absolutely not alone, you can always rely on us not to judge. We will listen and I assure you, we understand…
This is bad everybody.
