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Hi,
My girly name is Erika and I am coming to terms with the fact that I have been a lifelong cross dresser among other things. It started around 5 years old when my baby sitter and her friend would dress me as a girl and tell me how pretty I looked. Years later when I hit puberty and had way too much time on my hands, I would raid my mothers lingerie drawer and play dress up.
In my twenties I had a steady girlfriend that I told my desires to and she agreed to go along with it. She helped dress me up and do my makeup on several occasions, ultimately she rejected it and I felt ashamed so I hid it away.
In my thirties I dated a dominatrix that liked to dress me up and it was a lot of fun to have someone that was cool with it, but the relationship failed and again I hid myself away.
Now in my Forties I am getting divorced, partially because I refused to open up completely to my ex wife. There was many times I wanted to open up to her, and I know she suspected it, but any time I showed any femininity she would not approve. So again I hid myself, but instead I would just live my fantasy through pornography. There are many more reasons that I am getting divorced, but I do know that I will never hide myself away again.
So here I am exploring again and enjoying it. I have learned so much about myself through cross-dressing and I know it is a part of me that wont go away no matter how hard I try to suppress it. So I am not going to anymore, I am learning to accept myself for who I am and I am looking forward to the long road of exploration ahead of me. I have to learn to be comfortable in my own skin and then I can try and find that special someone that accepts me for me and build a life on a solid foundation of truth and trust.
Erika
Whoa...one step at a time. You are way ahead of many so each step forward will have logarithmic outcomes ( hmm, well that may be a bit much ! ). Oddly enough, you sound more comfortable with yourself than you think. Finding someone? I find that is not a good near term goal. It divides you into self exploration and pursuit of someone. Slowly see who you are. You will be surprised, if you indulge your interests that you will find that facets you thought you liked, you don’t, and etc.
Need not attach yourself so fast - though you are used to it.
Let exploration begin within yourself.
kate
Erika, welcome, happy that you did find us. With you as a long time dresser I’m sure many here would love to hear some of your stories and experiences. We’re always looking to learn more about this amazing world. Express yourself with complete confinance. Here our ladies are so understanding and very supportive. Meet with some of them and enjoy their help and most of all acceptance to make your time here such a wonderful experience. Making friendships is so much fun and know there’s always someone here to talk to and to listen when needed. I hope in time you find that special person to share and enjoy your inner self. It such a wonderful experience that I'm blessed in having. Happy to meet you and hope to see you sometime here soon. Hugs
Stephanie 🌹
Hi Erika ,
Very safe and friendly place here, enjoy yourself ☺ Tiff
Hi Erika,
Welcome, lots of friendship and support here. I look forward to seeing you around the site.
Jessica x
Wow Erika,
You have certainly been through a lot of emotions, thank you for sharing it so honestly.
I hope you can enjoy the friendship & warmth you will receive here,
Nikki x
Hi Erika !
Welcome to CDH! That's a great introduction post. I'm with Kate on this. Get to know yourself as Erika better and I believe the right someone will more likely come along when you know and accept this side of yourself better. Many find confidence/self assurance a very attractive quality. At CDH the available support advice and tips will help you with that. So.....
Participate and get to know some of the wonderful supportive ladies here. Don't be shy. We are a friendly group.
Hugs
Autumn
Welcome Erika!
Hi Erika and welcome
I love an awesome introduction! Your enthusiasm for sharing will help you fit right in with the rest of the ladies.
Be happy, Be real, BE YOU
<p style="text-align: center;">Hi Erica.</p>
Totally understand. Have 2 sister's. They did same to me. Haven't been normal since.
Just excites me
Erika Hello and welcome. yes x dressing will never go away u r right about that. sorry for the divorce, its hard to find a woman and tell them you are a x dresser and they will except it. some will some won;t. i started with a pair of tights in a school play. i was hooked, on and off with x dressing. now in my 50s i have come to terms with my x dressing, letting my fem side out when i can. i have my own collection of female clothing, make up, perfume,ear rings, wig, heels,nylons, wife knows of my x dressing but will not see me dressed up but lets me dress up when our last adult child is not home. feel free to read my profile.