Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

Acceptance and Understanding (An update to "Trying to Understand")

26 Posts
15 Users
0 Reactions
331 Views
Posts: 25
Significant Other
Topic starter
(@starr77)
Eminent Member     Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I am posting this in intro as a follow up to my original “Trying to Understand” post (I don’t know where else to post this update). Those of you who read that post know that I was having a very hard time with my partner’s coming out. This site and the people here helped me so much to understand what is going on. I also realized that I was so focused on how I was feeling that I failed to check in to see how he was doing. Since he has only dressed one time this is new for both of us. We sat down and I asked him to tell me. He did so and I encouraged him/her to join this group. He wanted to do so but didn’t have a femme name so together we decided on a name for her (note, I don’t know if she wants her name to be public so for this purpose I will refer to her as “her/she”). It was nice that we did this together.

The following evening I suggested that we schedule a date for me to meet her. We decided she would cook me a nice dinner and then we would go to the movie store and rent a movie to watch together at home. He agreed and we had a plan!

Date day: I got home from my regular workout on Saturday morning and my hubs asked me if I’d go shopping with him to pick out a sweater or blouse for her to wear that evening, I thought it would be weird but I agreed to go and help him find something. It really wasn’t so strange and he seemed to be okay with it as well. Good first step!

When we got home he asked if I’d be willing to go to a bar for a drink instead of the movie store. He picked a nice bar close to home that we knew we wouldn’t run into anyone we know. I agreed to go. What?!

We had decided that I would go shopping alone so She could have time to get dressed. When I got home She wasn’t quite ready and was still upstairs. I poured us each a glass of wine and waited. I was so nervous I thought I might throw up, my stomach was in knots. When she came around the corner I handed her her wine, stepped back to have a look, told her that she looked nice (She really did!) and gave her a kiss (kissing only at home!) She really looked very lovely but so tall in those heals! I’m only 4’11” so am definitely going to require heals to hang out with her.

While she made dinner I freshened up and got ready for an evening OUT with Her. Dinner was good but admittedly we were both so nervous that we really didn’t eat much. I cleaned up the dishes and we got ready to head out for a drink.

Before we left the house we had a laugh that went as follows:

Starr: Are you ready to go?
Her: Yes. Let’s do it.
Starr: Where’s your purse?
Her: I don’t need a purse. I have my ID in my pocket.
Starr: Women do not go out without their purse. We just don’t. Go grab one of mine from the closet.
Her: OK
Starr: You picked a good one but it’s empty. It needs to look full.
Her: I don’t know what I’m supposed to put in it.
She grabbed some dish towels and shoved them in the purse and we were off with a laugh!

We got to the bar and sat at a table right in the front. There was a large table of men right by the door but we didn’t get any funny looks and the waitress said “Hello ladies” when she greeted us which made us feel more at ease. We each ordered a glass of wine and then stayed for about an hour talking and visiting like girlfriends do. It was fun and the smile on her face was so lovely it made me love Her even more. She was passing and I wasn’t passing out!! I’m so glad she didn’t have to go out alone for her first time in public! After we got home we put on the football game and snuggled on the couch together with our dogs.

Despite all of our fears, hers an mine, it seems that maybe things will be okay. I know we are both relieved that it went well and she opened up to me quite a bit about how she sees this going in the future. It’s funny to say but I feel like we’re closer and more intimate than ever before.

My heart felt thanks go out to everyone that came here to support me and help me to understand.

Reply
25 Replies
Posts: 249
Lady
(@sammatha)
Reputable Member     BELFAST, County Antrim, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi guys

Wonderful such wonderful news.

So pleased. For you both.

Please keep me updated and message me anytime you feel.

Sam x

Reply
Posts: 25
Significant Other
Topic starter
(@starr77)
Eminent Member     Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

[postquote quote=250365][/postquote]
Thank you Sammatha!  It was a very difficult week for both of us but I think it's going to be okay!  🙂

Reply
Posts: 299
Duchess
(@mollyg)
Reputable Member     Alberta, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Oh my... This has bought tears to my eyes as it's so beautiful, Glad the two of you had a good time.

-Molly

 

Reply
Posts: 25
Significant Other
Topic starter
(@starr77)
Eminent Member     Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

[postquote quote=250377][/postquote]
Thank you Molly.

Reply
Posts: 1261
(@bianca)
Noble Member     GB
Joined: 8 years ago

You are an awesome wife, literally a starr. Well done you for tapping into the information and resources on CDH, and accepting your husbands love of feminine stuff. Not only accepting it but going out together and having fun. Wish all women would accept it so readily and add it to the enjoyment this rich tapestry called life affords us. And let’s face it the feminine life has a much richer tapestry than the drab male world of fashion. Why not enjoy quality time together both looking fabulous. An uplifting story of hope for the future.

Love

B

Reply
Posts: 25
Significant Other
Topic starter
(@starr77)
Eminent Member     Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

[postquote quote=250385][/postquote]
Thank you Bianca.  It hasn't been easy but I wouldn't be the person I claim to be if I couldn't accept this.  I have  always believed every person has the right to be who they want to be in life.   I just didn't expect it to come home you know?  This tested my beliefs for sure but thanks to CDH and his own admission I was assured that this was not about sex or being gay or being a woman.  It is just another form of self expression that makes him feel complete.  Difficult as it all is,  he is the same person that I have loved for 20 years.  🙂

Reply
Posts: 7140
Ambassador
(@rose)
Illustrious Member     Peterborough , Ontario, Canada
Joined: 7 years ago

wonderful to hear about your  amazing time together. Your a remarkable woman and she is so fortunate. Taking control of this certainly help her in opening up more and for you I'm sure has given you some comfort. You've done great in starting up the conversations and showing an positive interest in his/hers situation. As nervous and confused as you are it's extremely difficult for us especially when first coming out. Your understanding is so important and shows compassions that you really care for him. My wife handle this very much like you did and allowed me to feel more at ease which gave me  the help I needed. I  know she still loves me and that's more than I could ever ask. Even went out, your certainly a special lady. The best to you both and please let us know her name when it's time.

Stephanie 🌹

Reply
Posts: 25
Significant Other
Topic starter
(@starr77)
Eminent Member     Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

[postquote quote=250417][/postquote]
Thank you Stephanie and thank you for your response to my original post.  All of you that reached out to me helped more than you can know.  It's literally only been 9 days since he told me but some times you just need to address things head on and see how it goes.

Reply
Posts: 311
Lady
(@rubycd)
Reputable Member     Malvern, Arkansas, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

This is something so wonderful to read. I have a supportive wife and there is nothing in the world that is better for a cd/trans that is in a relationship. I didn’t know how many wife would accept me dressing all of the way with makeup at first (I had worn panties here and there for a long time and she knew).  I’m glad to hear you both had a great time and hope you two get to have more great times.
Hugs, Ruby

Reply
Posts: 1700
Hostess
(@pattygurlcd)
Noble Member     Louisville, Kentucky, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Thank you Starr for being the incredible person you are.

You made my heart leap for joy I hope your husband understands what a loving wife he has.

Patty

Reply
Posts: 1333
Duchess
(@augustvaliant)
Noble Member     Long Island, New York, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Starr !
I am so happy for the two of you !
Hugs
Autumn

Reply
Posts: 25
Significant Other
Topic starter
(@starr77)
Eminent Member     Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

[postquote quote=250438][/postquote]
Thank you. I posted this in the SO group too.  Hopefully it can help others the way you all helped me.

Reply
Posts: 25
Significant Other
Topic starter
(@starr77)
Eminent Member     Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

[postquote quote=250445][/postquote]
Thank you Autumn for letting run my story by you privately before posting publicly.  I appreciate you reaching out!

Hugs!

Reply
Posts: 1360
Ambassador
(@elbereth)
Noble Member     Northampton, Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

Starr, thank you for giving us an uplifting and heartfelt update. I am so very happy to hear of such a meaningful and wonderful night for both of you! And that you are working together and communicating just makes the experience that much better as well.

hugs,

Michelle

 

 

Reply
Page 1 / 2

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!