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Anyone else binge shop for new outfits & accessories after joining here?

30 Posts
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Posts: 10
Lady
Topic starter
(@valravn)
Eminent Member     Boulder, Colorado, United States of America
Joined: 11 months ago

So I have been so happy inside to find a place like this that I lost all sense of good judgement and went on an online shopping spree.  Three  pairs of shoes, a nightgown, a knit cardigan, 1 gold necklace & wristband, some things I am forgetting and cant write about here because of the site rules to keep it family friendly, and a clutch purse later I am looking at my insanity and wondering if I went overboard?   Anyone else ever lose themselves this way?   Alternately I should have also bought more leggings, some new perfume, eye liner, and more skin products?  Oops....I missed sharing I also got 3 pairs of new panties, duh..I'm so silly, that's just a given for me.  

On a more serious note, I have spent alot of time reading all the articles posted by members here.  I feel the your stories of your path that finds you here, just like me.   I really appreciated many of the articles on mental health, as that was, and continues to be,  a very challenging topic for me.  I will try to write more of my thoughts in a dedicated article someday, but I had the following thought:  So much has been written about the mental health challenges we face, and the terrible toll this all taken on good sisters who are not here in  this community, or any community like this, because they took that option of leaving this earth & this life because of all the challenges. 

Supposedly smart people do lots of studies trying to point out the implications of this, as some type of validation that we all going to be next because it is inherent in this path somehow.  I think they miss that the more interesting and relevant thing that must be looked at is what behaviors & support structures helped everyone here avoid that fate?  I don't care what perspective one approaches this question, the results would be meaningful.  I approach it kind of through an evolutionary lens.  Nature cares about "what works".   That is all.  For me, I had some challenging mental health problems that ate me up inside.  It took me to very dark places.   What has helped heal me, in my opinion, was when I paid attention to the mental bread crumbs that brought out my inner femme.  That inner femme doesn't go away once she's been set free.  My Kraaken is released!  I have had to merge my new femme voice with all the other life adaptions I have made that form me, and this is who I now am.  

Anyways...Thank you all.  I am glad this community exists & that I have found my way here.

I should have bought more panties....dammit.

Wet Kisses! 

-Valerie Raven-

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29 Replies
10 Replies
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2178

@valravn 

Hi, Valerie, thanks for this interesting post. I certainly binged but that was a couple of months before I found this wonderland.

I had been pretty much in denial since the last purge around 7 or 8 years ago. Then, a very close friend was diagnosed with a terminal illness and, during one of our last conversations, he said, "Don't leave it until it's too late". He was speaking generally but I took it to heart and decided that life is indeed too short to keep denying a very important part of my personality.

Anyhoo, I decided that I'd embrace my feminine side but, of course, all my lovely things had gone so I embarked on a spending spree! Amazon, Ebay and Vinted were my suppliers and I bought loads of clothes, undies and shoes, shoes, shoes. Have I mentioned shoes yet!

Much of that first pink fog-induced buying has now found it's way to the local charity shops for one reason or another and I've since been more careful to buy stuff that fits and with thought to putting outfits together. My wife helps with this by commenting and suggesting things for me.

Now I have a few outfits that I like to wear and feel good in.

Allie

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5194

@alexina 

OMG, how did I not know about Vinted?

Now signed up and browsing.

Allie ... if I go overdrawn this month I'm blaming you.

Ellie x

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2178

@ellyd22 

Oh yes, I spent a lot there but, after three orders within as many weeks failing to arrive, I gave up with it. It wasn't the money because you'll get a refund, but the deep deep despair when the gorgeous dress/shoes/jewellery that I absolutely knew would be perfect, disappeared into the ether 🤬

I would advise checking with the seller which courier they use and try to avoid the one starting with a Y and the one starting with E. (That one in particular is so bad they had to change their name)

Otherwise, have fun!

Allie x

 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5194

@alexina 

After your disappointing experience, maybe I'll just stick with eBay!

Ellie x

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2178

@ellyd22

Aw, don't let my experiences put you off, there are real bargains to be had and maybe you'll be luckier than I was.

I did get a pair of $99 shoes for £10!

Allie x

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(@lovefemme)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 31

@alexina ah really wow that’s a shame! I’ve always found E..Y to be ok. It always takes about three weeks to arrive but i find the waiting makes it all the more exciting xx

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Duchess
(@missylinda)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Ft Worth, Texas, United States of America
Posts: 848

I’m @valravn never too late to order more panties!  Shopping is one of my worst female traits.  But, my credit card is offering 5% cash back on Amazon this month.  As my billing cycle ends today, tomorrow morning I will be off site and on Amazon!  Buy  their stock today.

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(@lovefemme)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 31

@valravn Hi Valerie! 
I have binged on Aliexpress since recovering from stroke. Since my recovery I’ve realised life is too short to deny ourselves what we want and so, yes I completely indulge my want for fem clothes and accessories. Make up is my nemesis which upsets me as i cannot finish my look. 
It is wonderful here and the company is so nice  xx

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@valravn 

Hi Valerie, welcome to CDH.

We are happy to have you here! And you've clearly been using your time to explore the site to the max. The insights you give, the questions you raise, are part and parcel of what this site is all about. You know already that our sisterhood offers a support network for crossdressers and trans everywhere. So, make yourself at home in this wonderfully supportive and inclusive community. Pitch in anytime, ask questions anytime, have fun all the time.

And don't forget your panties!

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(@lauren114)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Delaware, United States of America
Posts: 1199

@valravn 

Joining here wasn't a trigger for me to shop more but rather part of a pattern of expanding dressing more into my daily life.   I have recently come to the conclusion that I am probably trans and as a part of this, I am bringing my femineity more into my daily life.  To do this, I need more clothes to get me from wash day to washday.  As a result, I have been shopping more to fill out my wardrobe.   My goal is to blend so I need more everyday clothes to wear, and this is what I have been buying.

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Posts: 3416
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Valerie and what an interesting post.

Mental Health was once the elephant in the room but now it is talked about and understood better. There are so many levels but recognising there is an issue is the start of recovery. It could be something as easy as reaching out and engaging with others who understand, CDH is a great example where there is a community that will offer a virtual hug and advice.

It is lovely to read of success stories where accepting crossdressing and the release you need. As for the shopping, well that's always good therapy too.

 

Angela

 

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Posts: 1116
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

I do. I recently did it for Keystone. I gladly spent a lot of money in clothing, wigs, shoes, jewelry , cosmetics, etc. All because I wanted to feel as a pretty woman in my first public appearance. This compulsiveness comes in spurts. And the most important thing is that it makes me a happy girl. 

Gisela 

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Posts: 1116
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

By the way, Valerie. Welcome to CDH.

Gisela

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Posts: 210
Guest
(@Anonymous 95305)
Estimable Member
Joined: 11 months ago

My latest “shopping spree”  lasted 3-4 months! When I finally decided last year that I’m just going to lean into it (which in itself provided much mental stability) I would unhesitantly buy what I felt I needed to complete my wardrobe. Oh, I need a purple bra to go with that purple dress or I need boots to go over the calves when I wear the skinny jeans. Oh, I need that red dress to wear around the house when I’m not all dressed up to go out…etc. I feel now I have all the pieces of a full wardrobe and now just occasionally buy a top or jewelry to accessorize my existing wardrobe! So, if…no, strike that…WHEN I screw up enough courage to go out in public, I am prepared to blend in no matter what the destination or event is! 

Sheryl

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3 Replies
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1451

@sheryl321

Posted by: @Anonymous 95305

So, if…no, strike that…WHEN I screw up enough courage to go out in public

That's the spirit!  You go girl 🙂

PS: You'll love it.  And want more.  Much more!

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95305)
Joined: 11 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 210

@finallyfiona 

t

Thanks Fiona. Actually, I believe I will go if I get the right opportunity. If Time and place line up, I believe I will! And that is because of all the wonderful encouragement I get from everybody here! 

Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1451

@sheryl321 Absolutely honey 🙂  It certainly worked for me!

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Posts: 72
(@michellegirl)
Estimable Member     Northern Michigan , Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Yes ! You girls gave me the courage to go buy some skinny jeans  👖  and a few tunic tops. Now I can go out during the day and Blend right in. My world has opened up. I'm so happy and thankful to all of you gals that wear jeans.

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Posts: 1805
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

Not specifically, however I do shop regularly. There's always another colour of tights, another dress, plus keeping makeup supplies topped up. 

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Posts: 1116
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

Back from Penn, I look like a cosmetics salesperson. lol

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Posts: 1451
(@finallyfiona)
    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Ummmm.  I might have been buying stuff pretty continually for the last 6 months or so 😳 

It seems like there aren't many weeks when at least something for Fiona doesn't arrive at the door ... new hair is expected tomorrow - a darker blonde - and another one the same as the current one on Monday.  The string on my smaller necklace went earlier this week too, I'd better go have a look for a replacement 🙂

Suffice to say the local delivery drivers are all getting used to seeing me as Fiona!

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Posts: 19
Lady
(@tafftoonr)
Trusted Member     Swansea, West Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

I cannot say I  binge shop but since my wife introduced me to SHEIN my purchases are constant. You get points for reviews and pics which go towards your next order so its a bit addictive but most of the clothes are pretty good just get the right sizes 

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1 Reply
(@lovefemme)
Joined: 11 months ago

Trusted Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 31

@tafftoonr Yeah me too with Ali express sometimes i have to order two incase the size is wrong. Great isnt it and totally addictive when you see the girl you want to see in the mirror xx

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Posts: 6030
Hostess
(@fishingr8)
Illustrious Member     Montana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Valerie nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here so look around and explore this wonderful site .. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Girl there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here to learn from so jump in with both heels as there is nothing to worry about .. Don't be shy as we really don't bite girlfriend well a few girls do be careful (ha ha ) just kidding have fun and hope to see you soon for a chat ..

Stephanie Bass

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Posts: 7810
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Valerie,

Welcome to CDH.

I’m always looking for a good bargain so a girl can always find something she likes.

Alice

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Posts: 431
Duchess
(@aliceblack)
Honorable Member     Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Valerie,

Enjoyed your article especially its humorous touches. Like a lot of girls on this site, I have been binge shopping lately. Like the song goes, the best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun and I am doing that. Fortunately, I have the financial resources to do it as am working a full time job - need to as everything is so expensive. But working the job gives me the cushion to do this. Otherwise, I would not. I need to have a little fun as I have a disabled wife who has cancer and that puts a lot of wear and tear on me to take care of her. So, I have my "fun time" each morning while she is sleeping. Then, I go do my 2 jobs - work for my employer and then work to care of my wife with all her demands. So, I definitely have fun with this indulgence. End of story before this lousy editor inexplicably deletes my writings. LOL.

Alice Black.

 

 

 

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1 Reply
Lady
(@valravn)
Joined: 11 months ago

Eminent Member     Boulder, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 10

@aliceblack 

Yep, that resonates with me too!  CD is an indulgence, and balancing all the other pieces of life can be a delicate dance.  I need that little bit of fun, satisfaction, & wholeness that CD brings.  Bless you for your caring heart in attending the needs of your wife.   That is beautiful.  I had a SO who is now going through cancer for her second time.  Even though we are no longer together, I wish I could help her more.  Breakups don't work like that though...

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Posts: 100
Baroness Annual
(@nickicd)
Reputable Member     Texas, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

I have always spent too much on clothes for Nicki but I love it! I buy a lot from Amazon and if I don't get a package from them for a while the driver will stop by to make sure I'm alright. Just kidding.......

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Posts: 675
Duchess
(@catherine0918)
Prominent Member     Henderson, Nevada, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Valerie!

Welcome to CDH!

I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.

You asked: I am looking at my insanity and wondering if I went overboard?   Anyone else ever lose themselves this way?  

Well, maybe been known to buy an extra outfit or two didn't intended to purchase and a few other extras in an on-line shopping excursion, LOL!

Very heartfelt on mental health challenges.

Appreciated your perspective.

Again, welcome to CDH!

Catherine

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