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So I have been so happy inside to find a place like this that I lost all sense of good judgement and went on an online shopping spree. Three pairs of shoes, a nightgown, a knit cardigan, 1 gold necklace & wristband, some things I am forgetting and cant write about here because of the site rules to keep it family friendly, and a clutch purse later I am looking at my insanity and wondering if I went overboard? Anyone else ever lose themselves this way? Alternately I should have also bought more leggings, some new perfume, eye liner, and more skin products? Oops....I missed sharing I also got 3 pairs of new panties, duh..I'm so silly, that's just a given for me.
On a more serious note, I have spent alot of time reading all the articles posted by members here. I feel the your stories of your path that finds you here, just like me. I really appreciated many of the articles on mental health, as that was, and continues to be, a very challenging topic for me. I will try to write more of my thoughts in a dedicated article someday, but I had the following thought: So much has been written about the mental health challenges we face, and the terrible toll this all taken on good sisters who are not here in this community, or any community like this, because they took that option of leaving this earth & this life because of all the challenges.
Supposedly smart people do lots of studies trying to point out the implications of this, as some type of validation that we all going to be next because it is inherent in this path somehow. I think they miss that the more interesting and relevant thing that must be looked at is what behaviors & support structures helped everyone here avoid that fate? I don't care what perspective one approaches this question, the results would be meaningful. I approach it kind of through an evolutionary lens. Nature cares about "what works". That is all. For me, I had some challenging mental health problems that ate me up inside. It took me to very dark places. What has helped heal me, in my opinion, was when I paid attention to the mental bread crumbs that brought out my inner femme. That inner femme doesn't go away once she's been set free. My Kraaken is released! I have had to merge my new femme voice with all the other life adaptions I have made that form me, and this is who I now am.
Anyways...Thank you all. I am glad this community exists & that I have found my way here.
I should have bought more panties....dammit.
Wet Kisses!
-Valerie Raven-
Hi Valerie and what an interesting post.
Mental Health was once the elephant in the room but now it is talked about and understood better. There are so many levels but recognising there is an issue is the start of recovery. It could be something as easy as reaching out and engaging with others who understand, CDH is a great example where there is a community that will offer a virtual hug and advice.
It is lovely to read of success stories where accepting crossdressing and the release you need. As for the shopping, well that's always good therapy too.
Angela
I do. I recently did it for Keystone. I gladly spent a lot of money in clothing, wigs, shoes, jewelry , cosmetics, etc. All because I wanted to feel as a pretty woman in my first public appearance. This compulsiveness comes in spurts. And the most important thing is that it makes me a happy girl.
Gisela
By the way, Valerie. Welcome to CDH.
Gisela
My latest “shopping spree” lasted 3-4 months! When I finally decided last year that I’m just going to lean into it (which in itself provided much mental stability) I would unhesitantly buy what I felt I needed to complete my wardrobe. Oh, I need a purple bra to go with that purple dress or I need boots to go over the calves when I wear the skinny jeans. Oh, I need that red dress to wear around the house when I’m not all dressed up to go out…etc. I feel now I have all the pieces of a full wardrobe and now just occasionally buy a top or jewelry to accessorize my existing wardrobe! So, if…no, strike that…WHEN I screw up enough courage to go out in public, I am prepared to blend in no matter what the destination or event is!
Sheryl
Yes ! You girls gave me the courage to go buy some skinny jeans 👖 and a few tunic tops. Now I can go out during the day and Blend right in. My world has opened up. I'm so happy and thankful to all of you gals that wear jeans.
Not specifically, however I do shop regularly. There's always another colour of tights, another dress, plus keeping makeup supplies topped up.
Back from Penn, I look like a cosmetics salesperson. lol
Ummmm. I might have been buying stuff pretty continually for the last 6 months or so 😳
It seems like there aren't many weeks when at least something for Fiona doesn't arrive at the door ... new hair is expected tomorrow - a darker blonde - and another one the same as the current one on Monday. The string on my smaller necklace went earlier this week too, I'd better go have a look for a replacement 🙂
Suffice to say the local delivery drivers are all getting used to seeing me as Fiona!
I cannot say I binge shop but since my wife introduced me to SHEIN my purchases are constant. You get points for reviews and pics which go towards your next order so its a bit addictive but most of the clothes are pretty good just get the right sizes
Hi Valerie nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here so look around and explore this wonderful site .. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Girl there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here to learn from so jump in with both heels as there is nothing to worry about .. Don't be shy as we really don't bite girlfriend well a few girls do be careful (ha ha ) just kidding have fun and hope to see you soon for a chat ..
Stephanie Bass
Hi Valerie,
Welcome to CDH.
I’m always looking for a good bargain so a girl can always find something she likes.
Alice
Valerie,
Enjoyed your article especially its humorous touches. Like a lot of girls on this site, I have been binge shopping lately. Like the song goes, the best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun and I am doing that. Fortunately, I have the financial resources to do it as am working a full time job - need to as everything is so expensive. But working the job gives me the cushion to do this. Otherwise, I would not. I need to have a little fun as I have a disabled wife who has cancer and that puts a lot of wear and tear on me to take care of her. So, I have my "fun time" each morning while she is sleeping. Then, I go do my 2 jobs - work for my employer and then work to care of my wife with all her demands. So, I definitely have fun with this indulgence. End of story before this lousy editor inexplicably deletes my writings. LOL.
Alice Black.
I have always spent too much on clothes for Nicki but I love it! I buy a lot from Amazon and if I don't get a package from them for a while the driver will stop by to make sure I'm alright. Just kidding.......
Hi Valerie!
Welcome to CDH!
I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.
You asked: I am looking at my insanity and wondering if I went overboard? Anyone else ever lose themselves this way?
Well, maybe been known to buy an extra outfit or two didn't intended to purchase and a few other extras in an on-line shopping excursion, LOL!
Very heartfelt on mental health challenges.
Appreciated your perspective.
Again, welcome to CDH!
Catherine