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Been Here Before

25 Posts
12 Users
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Posts: 11
Guest
Topic starter
(@Anonymous 96227)
Active Member
Joined: 10 months ago

I was here a long time ago under a totally different name. For personal reasons I won’t discuss that previous name. But some events in recent months have made me realize I need a support group. So I’m back!

I’m back because my wife found a bra of mine. Her exact question was “Is there another woman or is it yours?”  When I admitted it was mine her reply was “It would have been easier to deal with if it was another woman.”  So she is less than supportive. 

I have been realizing intensely how strongly I have known I should have been female. I doubt it will be surprising that I believe this greatly contributed to a Major Depression with Suicide Ideation diagnosis more than 30 years ago. Obviously there were other issues going on but this is certainly a major reason. 

So, here I am. I am well into the “senior citizen” demographic and have possibly grown some “wisdom” associated with my age. I know I want to be able to chat with my lady friends again. 

 

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13 Replies
Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Joined: 10 months ago

Active Member
Posts: 11

@jeannie01 thanks for sharing all this hun.  I can relate to a lot of what you say

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1733

Jeannie, at your age you need to come to terms with this. I'm completely closetted and definitely not out to my SO but I'm comfortable with that. I don't know how I'd react if I was discovered but you need to be comfortable with who you are, no matter what the consequences. You deserve that much. I wish you all the best with what lies ahead xx.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Joined: 10 months ago

Active Member
Posts: 11

@chrisfp99 

 

I guess that is what I’m trying to do. I hid Jeannie behind a lot of far, gilt and shame for a long time. Returning to CDH is part of my acknowledgment of that need!

 

 

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1733

Jeannie, we're delighted to have you back! Sorry if my last post came across as a bit harsh. I just meant we all need to feel comfortable in our own skin and I hope the wonderful ladies here can help you achieve that.

Hugs, Chrissie xx. 

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Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Joined: 10 months ago

Active Member
Posts: 11

@chrisfp99 

Thanks for saying those kind things. My way of reacting is to first be very sensitive and get hurt. There is a lot of history behind that. But then I stop and think about what is being said. My second reaction to your text was “I need to let you and the other ladies where I want to go!” I came back to CDH because I knew I could share my journey and hopefully help others with theirs!

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Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1733

Jeannie, we'd certainly love to hear more about your journey, and I'm certain the girls here will pitch in with lots of good advice xx.

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4023

Welcome to CDH, Jeannie!

Posted by: @Anonymous 96227

So she is less than supportive. 

I have been realizing intensely how strongly I have known I should have been female.

Considering your age and everything else going on, will you and your wife consider therapy?

 

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Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Joined: 10 months ago

Active Member
Posts: 11

@harriette 

Thank you!  Look forward to talking with all of you!

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2212

@jeannie01 

Hi, Jeanne, welcome back! You already know how friendly and supportive the girls are here, so I'll just say, enjoy being part of the family.

Allie 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5221

@jeannie01 

Hi Jeannie

Welcome back to CDH 🙂

You're already aware of the warmth and the depth of support that are available here. I'm glad you've come back to us; we're here to chat whenever you want to.

Ellie x

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(@julie1001)
Joined: 8 years ago

Trusted Member     New York, United States of America
Posts: 65

@jeannie01 i am a recently returned gal as well, i know what it was like for me to know that i had to get back to a supportive group who knows the joys & the challenges of embracing our fem side,
we're here for you.

J

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Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Joined: 10 months ago

Active Member
Posts: 11

@julie1001 

 

And I will be here for you!

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@jeannie01 

Hi Jeannie, welcome back. It's good to have you here again, in a place where you know you will receive empathy and understanding. 

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Posts: 11
Guest
Topic starter
(@Anonymous 96227)
Active Member
Joined: 10 months ago

Thanks Serena. Means a lot!

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Posts: 7835
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Jeannie,

Welcome back to CDH.

Alice

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Posts: 11
Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Active Member
Joined: 10 months ago

Hi Jeannie, just wanted to say hi and I like you are well into my Senior years and very close to my Octo years. I live in Greenville, South Carolina all by myself. If you need or want a friend in your age group send me a friends request.    Kathleen

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Posts: 11
Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Active Member
Joined: 10 months ago

Hi Jeannie, as one senior to another, don’t ever leave CDH again!😉 It will help you settle in where you are in life and become ok with who you are in life! My story is similar to yours with those same emotions. 
CDH has given me an outlet to express myself and now those emotions are not bottled inside!

Welcome back!

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Posts: 812
 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Welcome back,  it is certainly difficult to not have a supportive spouse. Guess you have, do you want to accept her not accepting "all of you"

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2 Replies
Guest
(@Anonymous 96227)
Joined: 10 months ago

Active Member
Posts: 11

@leah63 Would I love to feel accepted?  Yes!  Will it happen?  Unlikely. It’s been a rocky marriage but we realized we could not divorce because neither one of us would be in a good financial position. I would best describe us as friends.  Which is why I have come back. The ladies on this board are the only people I know who understand and are willing to listen and support. 

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 Leah
Baroness
(@leah63)
Joined: 7 years ago

Noble Member     Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States of America
Posts: 812

@jeannie01 Sorry to hear that it will not happen.  I understand staying together for the financial reasons.  Keep in mind the "cost" of staying and not being happy in life not fully accepted.

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Posts: 34
Lady
(@yuko5634)
Trusted Member     Osaka, Japan
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Jeannie, it must be devastating hearing that sentence. Even if crossdressing is wrong (and it's not), somehow it's perceived as worse than stealing or gambling. I hope all the best for you.

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Posts: 121
Lady
(@susanzed)
Estimable Member     North Yorkshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Jeannie

whilst it must have been uncomfortable for you both at least now it’s out in the open and you can move forward. I was very lucky when I was in my first real relationship to be able to come out to my girlfriend. She was very understanding and it meant that I have always told my partners about Susan before we got in too deep. That doesn’t mean it has always been easy, I have lost a number of beautiful relationships, but I preferred that to having to hide. I hope therefore that this is a new and happier beginning for you

 

Susan

x

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Posts: 6046
Hostess
(@fishingr8)
Illustrious Member     Montana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Jeannie nice to meet you and happy you came home as like all girls that leave and come home you are welcomed back with open arms so get settled back in as many things may have changed since you left and returned so do some looking around .. You know girl there's lots to do like rekindle old friendships and having fun starting many new ones .. We always leave the porch light on so you can find your way home and see it really works he he ..

Stephanie Bass

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Posts: 11
Guest
Topic starter
(@Anonymous 96227)
Active Member
Joined: 10 months ago

That sounds wonderful!

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