confused

HI Casper,

I felt confused most of my life because I had these urges to dress in a skirt or dress almost every day. What was confusing was that I didn't have any homosexual urges. I had/have no interest in guys. So I believed I was a "pervert" because I wanted to be femme without being gay. Weird, right?

But once I gave in to these urges, started building a wardrobe, finding CDH, finding my local support group, I got much more comfortable with myself. Now I find confusion when I swing back and forth between genders, lol.

It's all good.

Hugs, Lorie

Casper, well you certainly came to the right place. Confusions in understanding what this means is experience from many who first arrive here. I was very much confused when first arriving here and it did take a bit of time to settle down theses anxieties  but with help and support from many of our wonderful gals most of  these feelings started to whither away. Reading many of our beautifully written stories certainly help as I related to some of issues from what others have encountered. Always learning and always trying to understand better of what we're experiencing. Browse through our site, chat with some of our very helpful and friendly girls here and receive their advice and most of support in what your feeling right now. Ask your questions and many will be willing to give their advice to help you understand more of what’s happening. In time things should start to become clearer and then enjoy your journey with us by your side. Happy to meet you and welcome.

Stephanie 🌹

Casper, welcome, and here are few of my thoughts. First, I'll second the other girl's comments, as I think you've come to the right place.

Most here have been, or are still confused as to what we are, want to be, and where we might be going. For me, I too, started dressing in women's underwear somewhere around 11 or 12, I think, but did it only when everyone was out, and learned to cover my tracks, as it were, as I was so ashamed of what I so enjoyed. Then gave it up for many years, then had the urge to dress up again, but again, only underwear, this time borrowed from my wife instead of my mother. But I have had this urge to get completely dressed, with make up and everything, maybe 15-20 years ago, but only recently started giving into that.

I found this more than a bit scary, as I still very much felt like I was some kind of deviant/pervert, and felt like this was some kind of fetish, than a full lifestyle.

Finding this site helped me feel that I'm not alone, as I felt very confused and mixed up as to where I might be going with this. My very thought, at one point was, "I think I like this too much", this was when I had bought myself some clothes, new bras, and loved getting dressed up in my outfit. Even just wearing a bra and panties around the house doing chores was so amazingly nice. Which added to my confusion so much. I would find myself on a high when dressed, but usually at a low point afterwards.

I'm a hetro, and married to the same woman for over 30 years, and she knows about my dressing, but when I told her that I really want to dress more often, and more completely, it did unnerve her somewhat. She has come to understand and accept my femme side now.

Though I've never felt gay, or that I'm trapped in a man's body, but I definately have a femme side, who is demanding more, and I'm still trying to find that balance, though I am more at peace with myself than I was before.

I also found a local support group, who have been a great help to me.

I hope that this helps.

Amy

I don't really feel confused at all. I know that I am a natural born male, and there's really nothing I can do to change that. Yes, I enjoy wearing women's swimsuits and wish I had a nice pair of breasts on my chest, but that's pretty much it.

Welcome Casper!

Amy
Very good explaining 80 % of the Ladies here at CDH.. I have accepted the to balance my alter egos...my wife knows but prefers I dress “when the opportunity presents itself. It’s a happy solution and it works for us....Leonara

Ever since I was 4 I enjoyed wearing pantyhose with pumps and a shirt that looked like a short dress. As the years went on I began buying my own clothes and eventually began going out in them.

I met other dressers and socialized and partied with them. For me it has always been fun, exciting and a thrill and rush I could never get from anything else. Experiment a bit you might enjoy it too.

Hi casper,

I understand the confusion.

I am married

I have always wanted to be feminine deep down inside however I didn't  explore it until through some experimentation sexually I ended up in some high heel boots one night.

I found how pretty I felt in high heels and how much I liked feeling pretty.

I wasn't sure I was a crossdresser it just slowly progressed.

So take your time and try a few cloths or shoes and see how you feel.

Just be careful as I found out I love it so much and there may be no turning back once you go down that rabbit hole.LOL

Some people have said its a hormonal change we go through I think we just reach a point in life where we realize life is too short and we better experience the things we really want deep down inside.

If you need any advice I will try to help.

Patty

hi thanks

for all the advise and support

we have all had our journeys in live

here is a short one of mine maybe then some would understand why i feel like i do

lets start i grew up in a orphanage in south africa ever since i can remember i used to sneak into the girls  dorms to steal their underwear to wear.Until I got  caught and got six of the best but  did not stop me.

i grew up and had to protect myself against all the homofobik people out there witch i had to do since i was 13 i had my ars kicked a good few times but that was ok cause  i was never gonna change who i was and am.when i was 19 i met a transvestite that i got involved with i learned a few things from her (in secret) i used to watch her get dressed and after she left home i used to copy what she did this went on for about 4 years but doing it in secret was a pain but what could i do i had to be the strong boy in the house.Witch was ok as i really loved her.So ye i still did not have opportunity to explore the way i felt.

i always felt that something isn't wright. i mean how can this person that has always been such a strong boy always fighting all the homofobik idiots off  and never been  afraid to admit that i don't like girls but boys. but ye i thought i got over all that silly things.

as i met a guy and we have been together for 19 years now.and all that feelings disappeared.

until a year o go.

we moved to ireland two years ago and thing wear good until about a year or so ago as all the feelings and experiences from the passed has resurfaced.i have started buying underwear and wearing them and my partner hates it tough for him i thought but now i'm stressing as all i can think about at the moment is that i do not want to be a male any more.

how can i even think of this i've never dressed up like a proper female in my live or lived like one even for a month

so ye that's my idiotic story

i suppose i must grow up and and just accept that i will never be able to be who i feel i should be

Welcome Casper !

I believe a midlife crisis will pass..... I'm not a psychologist or anything close but I'm over 50 and I have had my share of life crises. All of this wonderful life that we have is fleeting and temporary so remember to embrace the good things. Most crises that I have experienced got resolved one way or another no matter how difficult and painful they were to get through, they resolved. If you are having difficulty knowing who you are or what you want perhaps seeing a psychologist who has experience with gender related...... (stuck for a word.... gender related problems,  gender related issues...... both come to mind but I'm not sure the context is what I mean...... being unsure of you gender or being gender confused is an issue and a problem but the context..... I don't so much like the implications or either but can't seem to articulate it better).......

So let me say if you can talk to a professional it should help your sort things out and understand yourself better.  A midlife crisis might might result in someone purchasing an expensive sports car but when the crisis passes they regret spending the money but probably still love the car.......

As someone who has been on CDH for less than a month...... I just want to say you have come to the right place. Most of the ladies who have commented on this post before me have helped me in some way even if they didn't know it.

so.... Welcome !