Crossdressing evolving

Jaime, Sorry to say I have no real evidence of why. Something similar happened to me. A switch was turned on!?

Maybe someone can look into what current events may have triggered this some 12 months ago.

Color me puzzeled.

Jaime :   isn't life so complicated. Why we do this is anybody's guess. Here though many of these questions  will be answered by many of the ladies offering help and support. All are dealing in different levels of dress so you'll find someone here in similar situations. Look for a friend were here and love to meet and share our experiences. Welcome to an amazing place and enjoy all that it has to offer. Happy to meet you pm if you ever need anything ,love to help. 🌹

Hey Jaime, back in the Nineties I did it as an outlet for my rebellious attitude, then I found I liked the way skirts felt and would wear them around the house.  I told my now wife that it felt comfortable and she was cool until the kids.

Fast forward to now - I am actually meeting a lot of transgendered and crossdressers that unbeknown to them have inspired me to say "Screw it!" I want to wear whatever clothes I want to wear no matter what sex they belong to and maybe a touch of make-up.

It's my life and I only have one so why not enjoy it.  Ain't hurtin' no one.

Hugs - Terrisa

I had had the urge to cross dress for a long time.

However, at age 57, I went to a costume party dressed as a lady of about the 1880's in a large lace tinged  hoopskirt with a beautiful black dress over it. I also wore a period wig, earrings, cloth purse, silk , lacey pantallettes and makeup.

After that I immediately started to crossdress and enjoy it.

I have been in touch with my feminine feelings and am now moving into becoming a transgendered woman.

The wearing of my first dress did it!

Hi Jaime, so you're an analyst like me and has to have a reason why to everything. Well the best thing I can figure is that we are hard wired like this, I spent a lot of time researching the big "why" as I'm into psychology too and the catalyst seems to be you just get to a point and say to heck with the world this is me, like it or lump it. I also noticed you're a little over 40 and for me that was when the kids got to that age where they are more independent and my wife went back to work that left me with a great deal more free time to explore my true self and enjoy who I really am. I retired a few years ago which has triggered an even larger feeling of freedom, as I worked in a steel factory and thugs wouldn't have been to accepting if I showed up in a skirt and heels, so I have evolved even further and pretty much  live a 5050 Heather Bryan life now, which I enjoy greatly. I scared the neighbours a few times at the start but they got used to it. The first time I cut the lawn in my Daisy Dukes and a tank top, the old boy 2 doors down called the cops. LMAO. I don't know if this helps you any but I hope it gives you something to think about.

Please feel free to message me if you'd like to talk more. Take care, Heather.

Hi Jaime,

I'm pretty much in the same situation.  I'm a software engineer and analyze the crap out of everything. I know what my catalyst was but the continued desire to dress has been quite unexpected.

The dressing all started a few months ago and now when I look at a well dressed woman, I am envious because I am unable to look so nice and attractive. I used to ogle beautiful woman but now I want to know where they got the dress, the shoes or how they applied their makeup. It has been a bizarre mind shift for me that I just don't understand.

My biggest concern is where is this heading? I can't seem myself coming out with my family as there are a number of narrow minded and homophobic individuals that would find this life style completely unacceptable. I would certainly be outcasted. Most importantly I fear how my wife would react as I've seen her reactions around other CDs. My kids might be accepting but there is that risk too.

I don't have a clue what to do...

Hi Leona,

Thanks for your lovely message and sharing your journey so far. I too am worried where it is all heading and if it going to cost me my family. I really hate myself for being a crossdresser, but at the same time I can't stop. It feels like an addiction.

I do hope you come to some conclusions about the path you are on.

Always here if you need to talk.

Take care Jaime x

Hi Heather, thanks for sharing with me and the offer of a friendly ear.

It's good to hear someone else who has done lots of research, and not necessarily come up with a definitive answer. I really need to find a way to let go and just accept who and what I am. It certainly sounds like you have been on a journey and emerged the other side of it with your sanity still in tact. You are right about my age but the kids still a bit young at the moment for any bombshells. The wife found out, but totally unaccepting of the situation and not sure we will survive.

I just wish I had a full week to myself to fully explore the Jaime side of me and side if I can come to any conclusions, but will never get the opportunity.

Would love to stay in touch.

Have a lovely week.

Jaime x

I've been crossdressing for 30 years or more. At first my wife (then girlfriend) hated it. She knew I dressed but never in front of her. Some years later, my wife began to not only accept it, but seruiusly enjoy it. She started taking me shopping and dressing me up for her pleasure. Today, things have cooled somewhat and my wife is not at the OK with it stage. She doesn't encourage it, but is OK with me doing it and buying clothes within a budget.

My crossdressing has always been an occasional thing (except when my wife was seriously into it), but the past 12 months have been difficult for me. I fell into depression, and then a few months later something ather horrid hit the family. This sent me spiralling downwards. I have never felt anything like it. The only thing that can lighten the darkness is my dressing. Though I started to climb out, the past few weeks have seen me slide back down into the darkness. My dressing is what keeps me sane. Some days, it's all I think about. I'm taking risks, I'm going out in the car. I'm buying stuff secretly (I've never done this before). I'm going shopping alone and trying stuff on in shops (exhilerating, but again, new for me).... I need to do this.

It IS an addiction. I'm not addicted to the dressing up. I'm addicted to the thrill. I'm addicted to how I feel when dressed. I'm addicted to the brief respite it gives me from the darkness.

I don't know what has kicked off this desire in you Jaime, all I will say is embrace it. If you embrace and accept it, the guilt is reduced.

I often find myself looking at attarctive women and their looks have no interest for me. I'm only interested in what they are wearing. I find myself looking at the ladies where I work, and then I go shopping to try an emulate their look.... It's an addiction alright, but I've learned to embrace it, accept it and try to enjoy it.... My problem is that my wife isn't as keen as she used to be and this is causing conflict. Trying to balance this is very hard, but I'm trying hard.

Donna

Hi Martha's, many thanks for your reply. Good luck on your journey. Jaime x

I am so thankful for this site... talk about perfect timing. The one important item that comes to mind is that we have sisters here to share what is going on in our lives.

Hugs to all.

Hi. My moment was two years ago and like you I have no idea what the real catalyst was.

All I know is that after 30 years of dressing in secret I just told my wife I wanted to wear panty hose.

It took me 18 months to finally get her to accept this but during this time I bought hundreds of pairs and lots of pantys and a couple of silky nighties. I even found a pair of size 9 heals but bottled buying them.

I then juts started shaving my kegs and my private parts.

So here I am sat in my black 60 denier tights waiting for my taxi to take me to the train station pondering how I got here.

I really don't know why it happened but I know I am the happiest gurl in the world to be sat here like this now.

I wonder whether I just suddenly thought that's it. Enough is enough. I want to be me.

I do know my catalyst, but I have no idea why nor do I care why. I do know a good bit about addiction as I'm over 20 years sober. Put away the drugs, the alcohol and tobacco many years ago. Tobacco was the hardest with alcohol a close second. I know I'm a compulsive type of personality and this has all the hallmarks of addiction as I've experienced it in the past, but unlike my previous addictions, I see no harm in it. I learned a long time ago to not compare myself to others and have come to the belief that people are simply wired all sorts of different ways. And doesn't that make the world much more interesting? I know societal norms tell people to get all freaked out over people like us, but I have to ask why? What kind of person spends their time getting all worked up over how some people dress. And why is it that only women should be allowed to wear dresses. It's ridiculous and pathetic. My catalyst is my recent shift in the type of photography i do (music/concerts/festivals) to portraiture. I have an online community and mentor with whom I study and talk to daily. The type of portraiture i'm doing is glamor, fashion and art portraits. I'm learning about makeup, women's clothing and much more. I started buying women's clothing at thrift stores to build up a wardrobe for clients and that kind of pushed me to the next step. After a few weeks, I felt I desperately needed/wanted people to talk to about it...to express my new found happiness, so I began to look online for forums and I found CDH. Being involved here is an important part of wherever  this is going for me. I recognize that nowhere else can I talk about the things we talk about and be the personality of Stella. I'm not afraid of this. I welcome it as the beginning of another interesting chapter for me. I've been many different people in my lifetime and I welcome yet another before my race is done.

Jamie,

My catalyst was a realization that the ogre I had become was from repressing it deeply for far too many years.  I had a lot of spiritual struggle over it.  Once I came to terms withe facts and accepted I was indeed a CD, then is when I began my journey.