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Hello everyone,
I am Isabella Luna, also known as Greg. My name doesn't have any significant meaning except that I like it, and the moon is very important to me. I started dressing when I was around 8 years old, much like others here. I grew up with three sisters and, amazingly, never tried on their clothes. Mom's bras, panties, and slips were a different story. These felt amazing when I put them on.
My childhood was filled with a lot of yelling and fighting between my dad and older sister, and between my mom and dad. We kids experienced a few other things that I do not want to mention for fear of triggering others. It's hard not to feel shame for dressing the way I do. I was taught that sex, sexuality, and feeling good were wrong, shameful, and sinful.
Growing up with three sisters and no brothers, I was always very timid and had feminine tendencies. My cousins would call me a "p****" and tease me because I didn't fight or do "boy" things. Now that I have become older, I have started to try different things, like painting my nails, wearing the color pink, and moving on to wearing skirts, skorts, and t-shirts. I am evolving, yet still feel shame along with the release and freedom of wearing women's clothing.
I do not feel like I want to be a woman. I feel like I want to express myself as one. I hate that a woman can wear any item of a man's clothing, and no one will ever question it. Yet the minute a man wears pink, a dress, or a skirt, something is wrong with him, or he has signed a deal with the Illuminati. It always goes back to something being wrong with the person.
Now that I am 50 years old, I want to be the authentic me. I want to shed the parts of me that are angry, sad, and hurt. I want to be an honest and open person, not living in fear and denial with myself and the people in my life. My wife found Isabella's clothing a few days before Christmas. We are still figuring that out. She loves me, and there is hope, yet not much in the way of acceptance for that part of who I am. She feels it is 100% sexually related and just a way for me to obtain validation.
I've probably said too much already. Thank you for welcoming me here.
Hi Isabella
Welcome to CDH, and thank you for a very full introductory post 🙂
I have two sisters. Believe me, I DID try on their clothes from a very young age ... at every opportunity. I'm trans though, and wearing girls' clothes has always felt completely natural and comfortable to me. I'm absolutely at peace with it, and it's never felt in any way odd. True, I didn't understand it when I was younger, and I wish that there had been more information around at the time, but that didn't stop me from feeling absolutely at ease and normal when I was dressed. I knew deep inside that it wasn't anything to feel ashamed about. For me, it's never been sexual 🙂
So ... back to the welcome! You've just joined a very warm and supportive community and I hope that you love it here as much as I do. I signed up just a little over a year ago, and it's one of the best decisions I ever made.
Have fun exploring the site. There's lots to see; if you need help with anything, just shout.
Ellie x
Isabella, yours must be one of the most comprehensive and touching introductions I've read.
Your background is your own but, spend time reading others' profiles and you'll find some very similar stories.
Now that you've found and joined us, please do get involved and, sooner than you think, shame will be as much of a distant memory as it is for us.
I would often say to new members that they should feel free to share openly with us but, given your introduction, that advice seems superfluous 😊.
Welcome to the family.
Allie
Hey Isabella, what a wonderful intro. Sorry to hear of the difficulties in your upbringing. You've come to the right place to connect with like minded souls. A lot of us have been through the negative emotions you describe. If you read through the forums and contribute openly you'll find the girls here will give you all the support you need and help you to look more positively on our special gift. I think you're going to love it here. You're home sister.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
Welcome, as Ellie stated you have come to the right pl;ace for support and information
Hi Isabella, welcome to CDH! Its a great community here and am sure you'll have lots of fun exploring the site.
Amy x
Hi and welcome x I’ve been here a short while but it’s an amazing community x
Hi Isabella,
Welcome to CDH.
Alice
Hiya Isabella!
Welcome to CDH! Good to see another Colorado lady here! What a great introduction and rings similar to many here. See you around.
XOXO
Karensa
Hi Isabella nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here we are a very friendly bunch of girls here .. We all love to chat so get comfortable with us join in and have fun.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also..
Stephanie Bass
Welcome. I am 51 and glad you are jumping in!!
Hi Isabelle.
What a lovely introduction. I'm your neighbor in the beehive state. I am also 50 and so much of what you have written resonates very strongly with me.
I also wore my mother's clothes a lot growing up, but I also dabbled with my sister's clothes. For me, it was exciting and natural feeling at the same time. From my earliest age I felt like I would prefer wearing dresses, tights, and cute flats and I wanted people to fawn over how cute and sweet I was. When I finally found enough drive and bravery to start dressing how I wanted, it coincided with me becoming a sexual being. Like you, dressing was a source of much pleasure and much shame and anger at myself for my weakness.
I also am recommitting myself to exploring the feminine side of myself in expression and identity. I have internalized a lot of the shame and contempt I sensed would be directed at me if I was my true self in public. I really want to let go of the bitterness and cynicism I have used to protect myself from rejection. I want to open myself to meeting people and being myself with them. Although I have found some social acceptance by masking with relatively non-toxic masculinity, I want to some time experience what is like to share all of myself with someone and be loved and accepted.
I guess that this is to let you know that you are not alone being in middle age and wanting to fully explore something that has always been part of me, but which I have kept hidden and suppressed. I want to let go of my previous prejudices against my nature and see what path it leads me on.
Best wishes,
Lauren
