Hello everyone, I am here

I want to start off by saying that thank you to all of the people whose stories I have been reading these past two weeks.  I knew hypothetically that this community was out there, it was great to wade in.

I am 49.  Back when I was 10 I tried on my mother's swimsuit and was fascinated by how it felt and how I looked.  That feeling stuck with me.  I did all of the normal guy stuff -- sports, dating girls -- but never felt like a one of the dudes and preferred shopping with my female friends.  As an adult I married, had kids, got divorced, and moved across the country when I became an empty-nester.

As an adult I have only one male friend, the friends who I go out with, travel with, and otherwise connect with are women.  I felt like I fit in with these friends.  Then three years ago my employer had everyone go through gender spectrum training -- I am an ENTJ who likes to classify things, and for the first time I saw where I fit in.  It was powerful being able to name it, trans female expressing as male, even though I did not talk to anyone about how I felt.

Then two weeks ago I got one of those Kohl's coupons in the mail and looking at the front thought "oh what a fun looking dress."  I guess maybe the time had come for me, because it finally dawned that I could get clothes online!  I found this site and got a lot of good advice on sizing.  I like Vera Wang, with my one kid away from the weekend, I am spending time around the house in my charcoal grey chemise.

So thanks to all of you here, this is the first time that I talked about this part of my life with anyone -- I was happy to find this safe place.  Sabina