Hello everyone I’m Jessie

You should always try to work things out or come to a compromise.

I have tried it’s been two years since I told her I literally told my wife about this right when she got pregnant and we married and she thought she could get used to it or become attracted to it and she treats me badly when I dress up and doesn’t involve herself with me sexually unless I’m masculine.

Jessie;

I really don't know what to say to this that may not come out wrong, but I feel it's worth trying.   My experience isn't close EXCEPT in one regard.    Getting it on with my SO when I'm even a little in femme is something which is deeply disturbing to her.   She tried, but eventually we spoke about it and when we're Physical, she only wants Alpha Male type.

While a little disappointing, to me, it has proven to be really important for her to be able accept the dressing, and even help a little.

My recommendation would be to explore the reaction you get without trying to bring your dressing into the physical relationship, especially if you discuss this limit or behaviour with her first.    Who knows, it might improve the acceptance on every other activity.  If you're contemplating leaving, this is worth trying first.

Hugs

Molly

ill give it more of a shot for sure, but i know im having a hard time dressing up masculine at all, as i feel so uncomfortable and not even myself. Thanks for the advice, ill be giving it another shot because its worth it to me.

Jessie;

I'm afraid my limited experience and knowledge may not be useful to you if you're at the stage of not being comfortable dressing masculine at all.  Perhaps some other girls here or in TGH may be better able to offer advice.

My heart goes out to you and I wish you nothing but success in whatever you do.

Hugs

Molly

im very secure and confident in my crossdressing thats for sure... just dont know if its the right choice to leave my wife or stay, im not as attracted to her as i would be a man i know this but then i think about my kids

In my heart goes out to you. I cannot say enough about how therapy has helped me. My wife is not attracted to my fem side. She also won't go to therapy with me, but as I try to focus 9n what is good for me I go and have found it very helpful. The stigma of therapy is real and hard to overcome but it is really valuable and a good therapist will help you think through the issues. Everyone is different.  While it's good to talk and share experiences you need someone with only your best interest in mind. An objective outsider. Best of luck to you.

Hey thanks for the words of wisdom LOL. I have been to therapy. I still can’t make a choice, I wanted to come here to see what people thought and maybe share stories with someone who has maybe been through or is goin through something similar. The biggest issue right now is just making a choice you know. Thanks for the kind words 🙂

Welcome Jessie!

I’m very sorry for how you feel. I just realized how I want to be less than a year ago and have been married to my love for over 20 years so we are in kinda different situations. But I’ve tried to bring it up to her without success or any support. Thinking I should give up on being (the new?) me.

Wishing you the best outcome for you.

I have to agree here............surely there is a compromise state.........and simply leaving a woman who doesn't even know,  to me, is a bit selfish.  Being married means compromise.  Discuss it, set parameters, rules or guidelines that the TWO of you can manage.............just maybe, you can convince her this side DOES have some merits..............Funny........you don't say anything about 'what else you bring to the marriage'............and that's very important...........and I think it may be obvious to her, THERE ARE counter-balancing merits..........ask her this.............if she has no answer, then maybe you should go.

Hope you can confront this, with your spouse first, then ask others for thoughts.

Mikki

My heart goes out to you, while my story is different,  I can appreciate the overall family aspects of your situation. So I don’t know much, but I know staying together for the kids is usually not the way to go about it.  I assume, married or not, that a happy you is a better influence, parent, and overall version of you then not. Marriage is a tricky thing and is hard.  There are flat out hard times, you may get through them or you may not, but if you aren’t open and honest with your partner and yourself it makes a difficult thing a lot harder.  Give all three of you the opportunity to have the most stable foundation you can to start from in my opinion. What  gets built on that foundation will work itself out.  In the long run your little guy will be better off with a happy version of you and your wife, together or not. Good luck to you.

There are a lot of married people on here in their 40’s 50’s  and older who are married still. Some have kept it hidden all their lives.  If you think you may transition or cannot live part life dressing then be honest with your wife. Have the honest open conversation and let time make the decision. Whatever you need to talk

I agree with a one-on-one discussion, with wife first...........but gotta ask..........

Are you really GREEN ???  Maybe I'm missing out on something...............

Mikki