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Hi everyone! I am Holly (that was new to say)! Not sure where to start but I am excited to be here! You can tell from my pics that I am really new to this and very old to think I can be cute! To those that have said nice things about my pics I appreciate you, need your eyes checked but love you the same! 🙂
How do I talk about me when I am still figuring this out? I am married and would not have a supportive wife if she found out I love the feel of women's clothes, makeup, hair (I really like long hair on me) and feeling pretty! That was a lot for me to put out there. I appreciate Julie Day for being the first person to reach out to me and friend me! Her words put a lot of emotion through me, and I felt so good! As I sit here in a little dress, I feel both fantastic and embarrassed if my wife saw me, I hope being in this group I will find understanding and support, if not a lot of new friends. It is hard for me in my opinion as I have always been the man's man but in the inside, I feel like a girl trying to break out! Again, hard to say but for some reason I got to let it out. For me this started a long time ago, I wore my mom's dresses, makeup and clip on earrings and felt fantastic, hard part is, I never remember taking them off, I do not know what happened when I was discovered the first time or the third. I do remember waking in the hospital one time but from what I do not remember. So for a lot of years I did nothing, well really until now.
Is this intro too long?
I feel like I am rambling but, I guess you can ignore and move on but I am on a roll!
I have met cross dressers before, the first one, Tina (Tim) I met who was taking care of my brother after a motorcycle accident, I was so attracted and my sister-in-law told me she was actually a man who was a nurse. It didn't matter to me because she was attractive. In my youth then I was attracted to her, but more of my thoughts was the bravery to do that in the 80's and my own feelings of wanting her to show me how to dress and be like her. I was in the military then and as like now, scared to follow through so posting my pics like I did, first time ever (scared now and feel like crying in fear), is a huge step for me! I think I will stop here so you can wake up and go to bed or maybe laugh with me and grab a tissue! I thank you for being there and hopefully I can become a better girl and learn from all of you. My questions I have are: How does a big person like myself try to be cute? And how can I go about having girly stuff and hide it from my wife? Ok, now I have jumped off the deep end, is there a pool? 
@hollyu
Hi Holly & welcome! I like your pics.
I’m new here myself. Luckily my wife can tolerate it (long story, it’s in my profile). I get the conflicting feelings of euphoria, confusion, and fear. Rest assured, we’re here for you!
Hugs, Shannon
@hollyu
Hi, Holly, thanks for your detailed introduction, not too long at all.
I hope that, although a lot of firsts for you, and kind of scary to be open about your hidden self, you've found it liberating. You are certainly not alone in feeling as you do, there are, literally, thousands of members here, (almost 50,000 at the last count).
The good news is, you won't find a better, more accepting or more supportive community anywhere. I can guarantee that there are lots of girls in the same, or very similar situations to you and we all understand the highs and lows of crossdressing.
Take some time to look around and don't hesitate to ask if there's anything we can do, we love to help!
Allie x
@hollyu
Hi Holly, and welcome to CDH!
Where Cute comes in many Styles, sizes and Shapes.
You have arrived in the place of all things feminine. Along with caring, understanding and compassionate girls like yourself.
We are here to support and assist you in any way we can!
Explore this site to find friendships, chat, information, tutorials, videos and answers to your questions.
Welcome to our Pink Fog!
Fran 🥰
Welcome to CDH, Holly!
My questions I have are: How does a big person like myself try to be cute? And how can I go about having girly stuff and hide it from my wife?
How does a big person, whose wife wouldn't approve, be cute?
Very carefully. You're on thin ice, so any slip-up will reveal what you are doing. Timing will be crucial, so have you paired your two phones yet, so that you can map her position? Think of a good, justifiable excuse for doing this, such as finding her in a big mall when you are shopping. Be aware that you can't rely 100% on the mapping service, either, since it may not be 100% accurate all of the time. I have seen some long refresh delays. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
Having a secret stash is also risky. Some CDs use storage lockers as their secret CD hideaway. Others use a lockbox in their garage. Some use an attic as a hiding space. Some wait to dress until their wives are on the other side of the world.
How long can you get away with your crossdressing without being caught?
@harriette Good question on how long I can get away with it. My wife travels a lot so I have good windows when she is away and not going to try when she is cross town. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.
@hollyu
Welcome Holly, and don't feel bad at all about rambling! Some of us (blushing!) are quite well known for it! No apologies, we just type the way we think! 🙂
Only advice is, there's a lot of people better qualified than me to advise you on the "size to cute" adjustments. Of course, the advice may not be applicable to your situation if, for example, you need to shave all over but can't.
As for hiding spaces, garages and attics are usual go-to's. All situations are different (houses vs apartments, how many storys, etc), but I could not do a storage unit. I would have no possible excuse if I was spotted there or a bill/phone call arrived. Plus, if I unexpectedly get a couple of hours to dress, I am NOT wasting time or worried about a change of plans by going to a unit. Just my opinion, for others it is the perfect setup because it is an isolated place to dress and enjoy the experience. Wherever you pick, just note how hot/cold it gets, as some items may not store well, i.e. forms, makeup, etc.
And yes, this might be a deep end, but there's no sharks in the water! 😉
@hollyu Hi holly, Welcome here. I'm new here too. Not much i can teach you because i also have to learn and struggle with much of your problems too. (being tall, not slim in the right place, trying to look cute, voice, make up) I'm happy with the legs but big feet
Where to hide clothes? Little things I hide behind my clothes all behind in my closet. Most other things I hide in my toolboxes (tools somewhere else) and in my fishing bags. That.s where my wife never looks (I hope)
Hugs, Mary Ann
@maryannxfisher so beautiful of you to say and thanks for relating! Will need to think this through, you all are so inspiring!
@hollyu Huge Welcome I can relate to all of it. Although it's been a few years now that I finally told my Wife and I'm one of the lucky ones as she is cool with it all. though before it sounds like I was exactly where you are. now.
All I can say is experimentation is a whole lot of fun and there is a world to discover. There are so many directions to go in that only you can decide,
kind of like the old Oregon Trail game lol. but now you got all of us to help determine which path is best for you. and you won't get colara..
As for hiding stuff I Always used the eaves in the attic under the insulation. of course in plastic bags so your not all itchy during play time 🙄. And if you have to purge , so many times I regretted things later on , I told myself If I ever purged again I would bury it all somewhere in contractor bags so later after the shame went away I could retrieve them although if I had all the things I've purged over the years I would have a room full. oh but what a fun room that would be 
anyhoo..
Welcome again, for me CDH was the start of something wonderful. Cheers RC
@river thank you River! It has been so relieving to know I am not alone!
Hugs! Holly
@hollyu Oh Holly, how brave of you to pour your heart out to us all sweetie. What a wonderful read. And every single thing you've written is so totally relatable. You've almost captured the essence of the struggles of a crossdresser in your first post.The most important thing is that you're home now. CDH is without doubt the best, most supportive, friendly, safe site there is. The girls hear have your back already. They'll offer you love, support, advice and friendship if you continue to share with us.
A lot of us are still figuring this out, but it's all a fun part of the journey. And a lot of us are not out to our partners, including me. Read the forums and you'll see plenty of discussions on that thorny topic.
Your pics are lovely, and yes we can be old and cute. And we can be big too. I'm no mere slip of a girl 😂. It's actually less about what we look like and more about how we feel. As for hiding stuff from your wife, well again a much talked about topic. Sadly I have personally concluded that it's not worth the risk, so my opportunities are severely limited, but I've seen any number of ingenious solutions. The bottom line is that you are now part of a community of wonderful supportive like minded girls, and you should immerse yourself in the joy of our shared passion.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@chrisfp99 love the warmness of your welcome and hope to connect with you and the other sisters! Thank you so much!
@hollyu
Hi Holly!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart, that took so much courage. I want you to know that your words moved me deeply, and I see the beautiful girl behind them. You’re not rambling at all, you’re telling your story, and it matters. You matter.
I know how scary it is to step into this side of yourself, especially with so much at stake. Many of us here know that balancing act between expressing who we are and trying to protect the people we love. It’s complicated… and it can be so lonely. But you're not alone anymore.
You’re already doing something incredibly great: being you. That sparkle you feel when you put on a dress or see yourself with long hair? That’s real. That’s her. Don’t worry about size or age — femininity isn’t limited by either. Grace, softness, strength, and style come in all forms.
As for hiding girly things... it’s not ideal, but many of us have had to find ways to keep our femme selves safe until the time is right. If you ever need to talk about that privately, feel free to DM me.
Also… that story about Tina? Wow. Sometimes those brief encounters leave a mark on our soul and show us what’s possible. Maybe now it’s your time to become that brave girl for someone else.
Sending you a big hug,
Mia
@mialanieri Mia, (love that name), thank you so much for all you said. It is truly a new world for me as I take baby steps it is so fulfilling to have girls like you on my side. Look forward to chatting with you more and thanks for.inviting me to DM you! There is more to the story about Tina, another day perhaps. Thank you again.
Hugs
Holly
@hollyu hello Holly, I’m also from Utah. So good to have another member of the Beehive State on here. Feel free to reach out to me if you would like to chat sometime.
@hollyu
Hey Holly
I for one appreciate a good, long rambling intro ❤️
Welcome to this wonderful community!
Have fun exploring, and if you need help with anything at all just shout.
Hugs
Ellie x
@hollyu Hello Holly. I hope you like it here. The girls here are great and supportive. I am an older ladies ( you understand the truth) that has been doing it for years, except makeup. That new this year.
First I want to say thank you for you service. Their are probably more here than you know. I hope you talk with us and if you need help ask. We have had simulator problem with our significant other and still do. I personally am a closet dresser, but hoping to venture out someday.
I hope you enjoy and get to know the you inside you as Holly
Big Hug🌹
Welcome to CDH, Holly!! I love your pictures!! Putting them up, sharing your feelings here in your intro took courage. Be proud. You've taken one of the hardest steps in the journey - the first.
You may be surprised at how many of us began our journeys later in life - for me I was 68 when I came out to my wife. I'd spent decades hiding, denying, feeling embarrassed and guilty, lying to myself, my wife and others. I have a beautiful wife and family and have had a successful military career and then another in higher education. But none of that could ultimately hold back what I was feeling inside and the harder I tried to deny it, the stronger it became.
First, know that you are not alone. While we are each unique, we also share much in common. Some of us have been able to open up to our spouses and others have not. Some have become comfortable going out en femme in public and others don't. Some of us have fund that our true identity is the woman we hid away and have transitioned. No matter where you are, there are people here who have walked your path and are willing to help.
Secondly, know that you are valued, you are welcome and you are loved. We are here to support and lift each other.
Although I've only been here a relatively short time I've met so many amazing women, made many friends and have had so much fun interacting with and getting to know them. Don't be afraid to reach out, to ask questions, to visit us in chat or jump into conversations.
You've found a safe place.
With much love,
April ❤️
@aprilrhaynes thank you for the warm welcome. I appreciate your kind comments on my pictures. I think I have some growing to do and figuring out the look I want. Love your pics and thank you again!
Welcome aboard Holly. You will find the girls here a very friendly, helpful group. Take some time, read some posts, look at some pix and soon you'll realize that there are many who have been where you are. You are far from alone.
Hi Holly,
Welcome to CDH.
Alice
Hi Holly!
Welcome to CDH!
A very brave introduction and well said.
I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.
Again, welcome to CDH!
Catherine
Hi Holly so nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here .. Ok girl with so much to see and do here do some looking around and reading of the forums and posts from so many ladies here.. As they are telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they are on in life.. So as a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. When you get more comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Holly as she travels down her own girly path in life.. Now as for making friends here girlfriend as there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you .. Once again girlfriend its so nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..
Stephanie Bass
Stephanie,
Thank you so much for the welcome and friendship. I look forward to having you as a girlfriend and chatting. There is so much on here to explore and read. Can't wait to have more conversations as I let my inner woman come out. Thank you!
Holly
@hollyu You are very welcome Holly and same here hope to chat soon..
Stephanie
