Hi all. New here and as my name suggests, still figuring things out.

You should not be ashamed of wanting to crossdress. I felt the same way for years hiding it from everyone incuding my spouse. After a long time i decided to talk to her about it. I thought she would be disgusted or laugh at me but she accpted me and said that it was ok. She has even gone clothing sgopping with me so i dont feel so embarrasses through it all she has been very supportive. Dont let your fear of yhr unknow run your life it is onr of my biggest mistakes.

hi Alexandria, you are not alone and I imagine that many (all?) of us girls would say that we have struggled with this 'interest' of ours to dress up - I know that I have.
For me, the breakthrough came when I stopped viewing it in the masculine - as a guy dressing in women's clothes - and embraced the feminine - I am dressing in clothes that best align with how I feel, genderwise. Gender roles are a social construct anyway, there is nothing inherently male or female.
I am basically never 100% any gender, it is always some mix - at work I may be 80M/20F, shopping 70F/30M, dressed up 90F/10M... it is all in finding the balance that fits the situation and accepting it.
not sure if any of this makes sense but enjoy the calm, enjoy the peace that embracing this part of you brings.
- Julie

Hello there Alexandria!!  Seeing a therapist huh. Feeling differently for some reason? Your sense of touch becoming more sensitive? How about your sense of smell or your eyesight tending to find more pleasure looking at dresses than monster trucks????  Maybe......your feminine side is emerging.  Male/female bodies are basically the same except for our sex organs. Our brains could be interchangeable in time. I have been where you are and experienced the same thing. I have the double whammy of being a Gemini....so there you go. Try taking it in steps.  Dress in Lingerie for awhile. Then add things like womens pants and a sweater...forgo the bra at this time. Start re working your eye brows and use a light smelling perfume. Of course you are going out in public as described above. Switch the sweater to a top that is close to a mans shirt. Start using a face powder and light lipstick. See were I am heading with this? Little additions here and there...no drastic moves. I would not suggest anything drastic. Look at womens magazines and study the outfits and faces to see where you are headed.  Now, we do not want to look like a drag queen. Wear, act and behave more feminine.  The overall look should be subdued....you want to blend into your surroundings. No heels.....those are for runway models and drag queens......over-kill will get you noticed....until mentally self assured- go drab.  See where I am taking you. Now you know how to go about it, you can decide which way the wind blows.  This is for you....not ANYONE else.  Family, wives, friends......nice if they accept it but they are not you. You are the one who matters.  It is easier to dress up than to undo the dressing up.  Hope this helps.  If you have any further q's....just ask me. I have seen and done it all ( think), nothing embarrasses me now, lost my dignity in a hospital !!!!!!

Lady Victoria Graunwolf

Hi Julie.

I guess what makes my situation a little different, is that I'm happy being a man. I do agree with you though in that nothing is inherently male or female. I am certainly trying to come to terms with it and embrace the peace and calmness it brings. Its just hard to take that everywhere with me.

Hi Veronica,

I've never really thought to try and pass. Mainly because I'm a large guy in build as much as size. I've never gone out fully dress. Closest I've gotten, is some lingerie and tights under my chinos but that's it. Only recently started out using makeup but again the intention is different to classical women. Many wear makeup to draw attention, I wear it to enhance a few bits but in a manner so that its not obvious I'm wearing any.

You should not be ashamed of wanting to crossdress. I felt the same way for years hiding it from everyone incuding my spouse. After a long time i decided to talk to her about it. I thought she would be disgusted or laugh at me but she accpted me and said that it was ok. She has even gone clothing sgopping with me so i dont feel so embarrasses through it all she has been very supportive. Dont let your fear of yhr unknow run your life it is onr of my biggest mistakes.

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for your words of comfort. I know deep down, what I'm doing isn't wrong or hurting anyone. Its not for anyone but myself. That being said, I still find it incredibly hard to accept. I opened up to my ex partner about it and she didn't run away. She accepted me for who I was at the time. Its a policy I'll have with any girl I date because I believe its one of those things that can change their decision to be with you. I just have a hard time exploring the reasons behind it and what can I do to accept myself for who I am.

Hi Alexandria

I'm still figuring it too. A lot of good advice here that I found helpful.

1.Take it slow and in evolving steps that only slightly expand your comfort zone. I'm wearing more soft make up in public, for instance

2. Try to avoid the masculine/feminine split. It's always shifting and is sorta a false division. Sometimes I'm very masculine. But I'm learning to honor my feminine dimension too.

3. Feelings are feelings. We can't control them, they are fleeting. I don't believe in telling people how to feel or not because that can create guilt. Sometimes I've been embarrassed. I know that will pass.

Honor the process. We are all with you. For so many years, I was isolated with my "secret self." I'm learning how to integrate all aspects of me into a harmonious whole. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes not so much.

With love,

Erica

Hi! I just signed up also and am also new to dressing up, so what I say is just my opinion based on my feelings and definitely nothing more. But reading your post I wanted to reply and tell you that I wonder the same exact thing... why does dressing up feel so good? I have to say it was comforting in some way to read you saying the same thing. For me, I won't be beating on the question for an answer, I just know I love the way it feels. I posted pictures for the first time within the last week and have really enjoyed it. It's the first time anybody has seen them other than myself. I'm posting photos elsewhere and really enjoying it, to say the least. Anyway, for me for now, I am just going to keep playing and see what happens. Maybe I'll have questions that need answers down the road, but for now I'm just having fun! I hope you can too!

Hi, I'm  new here too and also hoping to make understanding friends. It's  never easy, it's never without guilt if you let it control you. Early on in my teens I had more then my share of woman but years later I figured out why. I was trying to block out my feelings, emotional not physical, and my needs. My first wife sort of understood  it. On our honeymoon  we had matching nightgowns. She started me wearing panties everyday. Life was good. Yet I was never able to stop thinking one day she'll turn on me. We divorced after 18 yrs. My second wife knew too. She encouraged  me to get breastfeeding forms, do make up, she even suggested I shave my body. I did that 2 yrs in a row. We went out me fully dressed to a support group and even a bar after  most meetings. We divorced  4 yrs later and she did threaten me with exposure. It forced me into the closet and purged all my clothes and wig. Silly me because 4 months later I re bought almost everything. My point is I  realized this was me. Hallie is part of me. My current wife has put up with so much from me, my guilt, my attempted journey to find out why me. I'm not ashamed to say there has always been the sexual side too. Hallie is a woman and has those needs. I'm  no longer ashamed of that nor do I feel guilty when my wife and I make love as lesbians. To admit that was hard but so rewarding. The result was understanding hallie wasn't just about sex. She, me, I have a save place when the world gets to be to much. It calms me on those rough days. They, my wife and hallie remind me of how much beauty is really around me when all looks dark and bleak. It's  taken more years then I like admitting to find the personal acceptance of who I am and I love it!!!!!!!

So sorry for running on like this,

The very best to you,

Hallie

Hi Alexandria I’m still figuring it too. A lot of good advice here that I found helpful. 1.Take it slow and in evolving steps that only slightly expand your comfort zone. I’m wearing more soft make up in public, for instance 2. Try to avoid the masculine/feminine split. It’s always shifting and is sorta a false division. Sometimes I’m very masculine. But I’m learning to honor my feminine dimension too. 3. Feelings are feelings. We can’t control them, they are fleeting. I don’t believe in telling people how to feel or not because that can create guilt. Sometimes I’ve been embarrassed. I know that will pass. Honor the process. We are all with you. For so many years, I was isolated with my “secret self.” I’m learning how to integrate all aspects of me into a harmonious whole. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes not so much. With love, Erica

Hey Erica,

Yeah I've learn to take it somewhat slow, though I've been a CD for so many years now. Yeah I wear soft makeup when going out, the great thing is, that nobody can tell. I've confided to one of my girl friends and she still couldn't tell I was wearing makeup even after I told her.

That's pretty good advice about the male/female split. I'll try take that forward. Yeah I'm just starting to allow my feminine side to breathe now and feel much better for it. Feelings are hard to deal with. Sometimes I don't care what the world thinks and only care for what makes me happy and sometimes the guilt is a heavy burden I can't carry.

It means a lot to know that my struggles are not exclusive. Thank you Erica.

Feeling pretty

I'm glad to hear you're embracing this side of you and having fun. I've fought with that side at times but most recently, I've been allowing it freedom to express itself and its made me calmer and happier for it.

I don't think we'll ever find out why cross-dressing feels so good and why it comes so naturally to us. I get annoyed sometimes, how women are allowed to cross-dress and its not even questioned and yet some would find it a problem if men suddenly wanted equality in that regard.

Don't be ashamed.  I tried to supress my female side for 45 years. Didn't work.  I too am seeing a therapist and talking through this change as I find my happy in this. Most days I am 50% male and 50% female. Whether its makeup, clothes, etc figure out what you like and you are comfortable with. Love and accept yourself. I think it isn't that we love to crossdress so we can wear female clothes,  but that we are being our true selves.  Not sure if that makes sense.  Be happy.

I'm confused as well. I have depression and anxiety issues but whenever I dress up I feel calm and relaxed