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Hi all I’m a 55 year old cross dresser looking for help and courage to tell my wife ( I think she knows ?) of 28 years about my dressing and the need for more dress time. Hoping to get some guidance and advice from all!
@ginger1968 Hi Ginger!
Welcome to CDH 🙂
This is a very friendly and supportive site and a great place to make friends. If there's anything at all that you need to know, just start up a Forum post; the girls here are very quick to pitch in. It's a really lovely community.
I signed up at the beginning of July and I absolutely love it here. I know that you will too.
Although I'm single at the moment, being here and having the opportunity to talk openly about who I am was what gave me the courage to come out to my Mum and sister in August. There are many, many people here in a similar situation to you. I'm sure they'll help you with the guidance and advice that you're after 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
PS. I read your profile, and love where you're from!
@ellyd22 Thanks so much for such a wonderfully positive response i appreciate it more than you can imagine!!
Hugs
Ginger
@ginger1968 Welcome to CDH, Ginger!
There are a myriad of ways to let the cat out of the bag about crossdressing. Some scary, some fun, accidentally or on purpose, etc.
Having said that, since you think that she may already suspect something, it may be best to plumb why you think that because examples here tend to suggest that being open and truthful is the way to go. What are your alternatives? Hiding it even longer? How will doing that affect your relationship?
Good communication is key.
@harriette Thanks so much for taking the time to reply it is so much appreciated and needed!!
Hugs
Ginger
Hi Ginger and welcome to CDH.
You’ve certainly come to the right place for advice and support.
We’re also a really friendly crowd.
I’m in a similar position to you, in that my wife of 20+ years officially knows nothing of Lucy, but I suspect she’s got an idea. She’s also very good at blocking things out.
Happy to chat about it if you wish
Lucy
@lucyb112 It was very sweet of you to take the time to reply it’s so much appreciated during this time for me looking to chat more in the future
Hugs
Ginger
@lucyb112 I told my wife when we started dating and she did NOT accept it. She had me purge everything (not the first time I have purged). We have been married now for over 20 years and I can not find the courage to tell her again, so I continue to dress in private.
maybe someday. - Traci
@jengibre1968 espero que te lo pases muy bien con nosotras. La decisión de comentarlo a la esposa es muy complicada y valiente. Que tengas mucha suerte y se imponga el amor.
(Un poco cursi?)
@ginger1968 Welcome to CDH, Ginger. You will love this friendly, supportive community.
@ginger1968 Hi Ginger
Nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Girlfriend we all love to chat so say hello to one or to all here so many girls from all over the world to build wonderful friendships with so have fun and join in as often as you feel comfortable with ..
Stephanie Bass
@fishingr8 Thanks so much for the wonderful welcome I am so much in need of support and responses like this help immensely!
Hugs
Ginger
Hi Ginger, and a warm welcome to CDH.
Your situation is a very common one, and you'll find plenty of helpful advice and guidance from your sisters here. It might be useful to know why you think your wife knows about your dressing. Have you left clues for her, whether by accident or design? Has she dropped veiled comments or remarks about crossdressers, perhaps when watching something on TV?
@jacquelinelarkspur during our entire marriage we’ve attended a million Halloween and costume parties and I could say with 100% certainty that I’ve attended all of them en femme. Now of course that may mean nothing to my wife, but early on in our marriage before I had the courage to shop for my own items I wore a ton of her stockings and dresses and being the full figured person that I am versus the petite person she is I would imagine she would have/ had noticed lots of her close stretched. I’ve tried hinting but really haven’t hinted well enough, that combined with my wife’s personality of blocking things out ( nothing bothers her) and I’m left to assume/ hope she knows, but at this point nothing has been discussed at all. Anyway sorry for rambling and I really appreciate the time you took to reply. Hopefully with your help and others I will find the courage !!
Hugs
Ginger
Hi Ginger!
No need to apologise for rambling... which you didn't in any case! I've dropped you a direct message, and I'm sure you will receive lots of advice from other girls here. We are here for one another, so don't be afraid to ask!
Take care.
Hi Ginger,
Welcome to CDH it's nice to meet you we are like one big happy family on here so don't be shy come on in and join the family,
I'm a mature crossdresser I've been dressing most of my life since i was about 8 or 9 years old when i tried my older sister's lingerie on I'm still in the closet to my wife and family,
I'm sorry i can't meet up with you for a coffee I'm on the other side of the pond in the UK, I'm sure there are lots of girls near to where you live who will be happy to meet up with you for a coffee and a chat I'm sure you will find lots of friends on here so if you have any questions just ask and the girls will get back to you, good luck with trying to tell your wife I've been married a lot longer than you and i still haven't found the courage to come out to her X
Hugs Rozalyn X
Welcome Ginger. There are so many experiences here that will help you along your path. Having a partner who has seen you dressed and gone along with it probably backs up what you believe. The expression 'DADT' comes to mind, Don't ask, Don't tell. The thing is that is there ever a good time to tell but you have a lot of factors in favor but it is for you to decide and I am sue that there is advice here or worth asking.
Hi Ginger,
Welcome to CDH.
Alice
Ginger I can tell you how not to, and that was the way I told my wife. Since then I've heard that talking about it openly when the time is right works the best for both of you, brings both side to the table and compromises can be made. Of course when that time is right, is the biggie here and only you can feel that. With her knowing though will make your world much easier for sure but maybe not hers.
Ginger, I've had three different partners catch me dressed and all three tried to understand and except that part of me. The last one was 31 yrs ago. Today I'm sitting here in a dress, wig, pantyhose, makeup. and heels with her sitting right next to me loving me for who I am no matter what name I call myself or what I wear. Honesty worked for me when they found out but not everyone is the same. Only you know your partner and how they might react. GOOD LUCK.
Ginger -
Welcome to CDH. You will find this to be a lovely place to get advice, make friends and share your journey. Everyone's journey is different as is every relationship. Unfortunately there is no way to offer a tried and true way to tell anyone, especially a spouse, about our dressing. There are those that will accept it, those who have suspected and their suspicions confirmed, those that will hate it and a mix of everything in between.
When I first came out to my wife her first question was "Are you gay" and then why and not accepting. She felt betrayed and lied to because I never said anything about it and we had been together for 14 years. It has been a real roller coaster ride of ups and downs. At this time she is accepting of Suzanne and helps with shopping, make up applicaiton, selecting outfits,, going for mani-pedi's together, having my ears pierced, etc.. A place I never thought I would get to. It wasn't easy but time, conversation and honesty are what seemed to work best.
Only you know your wife and how she may react. Just remember that on e the genie is out of the bottle you can't put it back. Best of luck with whatever you decide and remember we are always here for you.
XOXO
Suzanne
