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Some of the hardest words to type, much less say.... I've only verbalized it twice (once to my wife and once our therapist). I'm a closeted CD and just told my wife about my long felt desires to, at times, dress like and be a woman. It didn't go how I hoped and I'm really hopeful this site and counseling will keep us together. Heck maybe one day she'll help me out with clothes, shoes, and most importantly makeup. I've read some of the forum post and know I'm not alone, which is comforting. However, I haven't seen too many success stories where the wife stays 🙁 She's my world, so I hope to be one of those success stories.....
WOW!!! I didn't expect that to come out, but there you have it.
hello Emma nice to have you here at C.D.H. I would take one day at a time and not push the issue. for her to come around she would have to read up on x dressing and get to know all about it. also that there are Dr., Lawyers, Dentist, neighbors, co workers that are x dressers and she might not even know it. my wife knows I dress up but will not help with make up or let me sit in same room as her when our last adult child is not home. take your time with your wife and don't push the issue on with your wife so fast let her adjust to it. I have read some articles about the wife being 100% supportive and helps with make up and goes out dressed up. read my profile will tell my side of my journey
Hi Emma, welcome! Your situation is so very common. Most wives don't love it but most stay and very often there is at least SOME accommodation. Very often "the talk" doesn't go the way we hope it will. Maybe it might be better thought of as " the talkS" as this should be an open-ended discussion. Things may get better if her fears can be addressed and trust restored. Feel free to PM me anytime. All the best!
-Jen
Hi Emma
Welcome, your story is similar to many and I know it is close to my own. From experience I know it seems tough now but things can get better and time heals, You will find friendship and support here. If you ever want to chat, please feel free to message me.
Jessica x.
Emma this is certainly the place you’ll find many of the answers you are seeking. Look into our forums written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topics. Sorry about your wife’s lack of acceptance. Many face this troubling ordeal but be asured you have that support and help from everyone here. I to went through a very trying time as my wifes acceptance was not very good. But in time and with many talks and guidelines set we started working out our problems and soon agreement's were made. Yes a happy outcome and I'm so happy for it. Hope the best for you. Having support from someone close certainly makes one's journey most fulfilling. So relax, get comfortable and enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. Very happy meeting you and welcome.
Stephanie 🌹
Think we've all been there, Emma. My advice, for what it's worth, is don't demand that your wife gets closely involved, first step is just to find out if she can accept the 'whole you' in concept, that you can be allowed space and time to dress even if she doesn't want to be around when you are en femme ? Take your time, don't rush. Hugs 🙂
This is a really difficult topic for me. Lots of support here though. I don't think my wife would ever accept it, and it keeps me from living a completely fulfilled life. But I don't want to hurt anyone.
Hi Emma,
I was in much the same position as you back in August. First I realized that I had to accept myself, then I came out to my wife, then I saw a counselor and after all that I discovered CDH. This place has been a great help. By chatting with the diverse people here I have learned what I am and what I am not, which is important because I was very confused before.
My wife is understanding and supportive although she doesn't get why I have this desire to dress. She is comfortable with me wearing feminine tops around the house, she is fine with me having painted toe nails and today, while she was getting ready to go out she put lipstick on my lips😀
Of course, every SO is different. The best advice I can offer is to try and see it from her perspective, encourage her to ask you questions and always answer honestly, even if it is difficult and if you don't know an answer tell you don't know.
There is a great book that I have just finished, "living with crossdressing" well worth getting a copy. Also checkout Jennifer Sometimes on YouTube! Lots of good interviews on there. She had a great perspective on CDing.
Good luck!
Emma Sue i hope and pray that you and your wife can find a solution that will benefit both of you.
Hi Emma Sue,
Welcome to CDH. Communication is key. Keep your channels open and look for any signs your wife wants to talk. Listen carefully and be open and honest. Give her time to digest what she’s heard. She may suggest boundaries or limits for your dressing. Good luck on your journey.
Alice
Hi Emma
Wanting to dress femme gives you something in common with the rest of us, so welcome. Keep reading the forums, you'll find many in similar circumstances with some success stories. It can be worked out with mutual respect, some boundries, and honest communication.
Best of luck to both of you. don't be afraid ask anything you need, we're a supportive bunch.
Hi Emma [great name girl :)], I’m so glad you’re a part of the community. I too am a closeted CD and I know the people in my life would not react kindly if I told much of anyone I crossdress. I hope everything improves and that your wife will be more understanding <3
Your story sounds similar to many other CD's. It seems like those long therm relations can get rocked when a spouse comes out as a long time CD. The wife gets surprised. she is used to the manly man. This shatters her image of him.
There does seem to be a few though who enjoy the role play and change in their relationship. In my case, I introduced my wife to Patty a couple of weeks after we met. She was fascinated by Patty and we became girlfriends.
Hopefully, your and wife will come to appreciate Emma or at least be understanding.
I wish you nothing but the best Emma.
Jessica
Hi Emma
Welcome to a great place. I am new too. I love the site and I am sure you will .