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Hi, I'm Jenni

14 Posts
14 Users
54 Reactions
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Posts: 2
Lady
Topic starter
(@jennijade)
Active Member     Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Joined: 10 months ago

Hi all.

I'm Jenni. Pleased to meet ya.

I'm kinda both very new to this, and very not. I've been crossdressing since my early 20s (more than 15 years ago!), but for most of that time all that meant was shamefully hiding a couple of pairs of panties in the back of a drawer and wearing them sometimes when no-one was home, or photoshopping a fake female photo and roleplaying as a girl in anonymous chatrooms.

But in the last 6 months or so, I've started to finally embrace this whole shemozzle. I've bought myself a small collection of underwear, bras, and also actual honest-to-goodness non-underwear clothes.

The moment of epiphany came a month or so ago when I found myself alone for a long weekend while my partner was away. In preparation for her leaving, I started feeling an intense urge to "make the most of the alone time"... so I (somewhat impulsively) bought a wig and breastplate.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you what that moment felt like. You know the moment, I'm sure. That first time I saw Her in the mirror, all boobs and hair and gorgeousness. I didn't even care that I still have my scruffy beard - a good old covid mask solved that problem.

It wasn't like I was seeing "the real me" or anything. I don't want to be her, at least not all the time. But I felt so sexy, so pretty. I liked being with her. I liked taking photos of her and posing her and seeing all the different ways clothes and curves looked on her.

Jenni has always been a part of me, inside. She's been a shameful secret; she's been a role I played behind the safety of a keyboard. Now, finally, she's here in the (silicone) flesh, and I'm so happy she is.

A year or so ago, my partner found some of those roleplay messages of mine on my computer. She was, understandably, very hurt. She felt like it was a form of cheating - that I was having a certain kind of fun with people who weren't her, and hiding it, and that it made her feel both betrayed and also worried that she couldn't give me whatever it was I was looking for with them. She was right, it was a terrible thing to do.

Our relationship has survived, and a big part of that is a commitment to not hide things like this from each other again - to try to get past shame and support each other through thick and thin (can you tell we're both in therapy?).

And so... last week... I "came out" to her about my Desire to Dress. It was a difficult, emotional, tear-stained few hours. I explained that this was both an ever-present part of me, but also something I'm only very recently coming to understand, and that I didn't want to hide it from her, and definitely didn't want her to find out some worse way (again).

And so here we are. Here I am. Here Jenni is.

I'm here to learn, to try to understand myself and others. I want to know the tricks of the trade, of course. But also I want to see what I can learn about navigating this with my partner, and helping her navigate it with me.

Anyway... sorry for the epic novel, don't know how that happened. This was supposed to just be hi. Hi!

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13 Replies
4 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5189

@jennijade 

Hi Jenni

Welcome to CDH 🙂

This is a very warm and supportive community; a great place to make friends and chat. 

That you for that very full introduction! I know that your story will resonate with a great many of the girls here, and I'm sure that this post will draw in a good number of responses.

Have fun exploring the site. If you need help with anything just shout 🙂

Ellie x

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@jennijade 

Hi Jenni, welcome to CDH.

That was a heartfelt intro, and one which a fair few of us here will find familiar in our own lives. 

You've come to the best place in the net to develop yourself as a crossdresser. There are lots of "tricks of the trade" to be learned, and the learning curve can be steep! Don't be afraid to ask questions here. We love to chat, we love to help. You can talk here in complete safety, as a valued member of a supportive community. 

It's good that your partner is at least partly on board with your desire to dress. That in itself is a huge bonus.

Make yourself at home here. Take a wander around, read some articles and tutorials,  check out some bios, and generally see what's what.  Join in the chats whenever you wish,  and have fun!

Hugs

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3998

@jennijade Welcome to CDH, Jenni!

How well is your wife taking all of this after you came out to her? How well is it going with therapy? Progress or no progress?

Also, you might want to let her know that there is a private place here for our female partners, if you think that she may be interested in that kind of involvement.

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2177

@jennijade 

Hi, Jenni, no need to apologise, the more you tell us about yourself, the better. We do like to get to know each other.

I'm here to learn, to try to understand myself and others. I want to know the tricks of the trade, of course. But also I want to see what I can learn about navigating this with my partner, and helping her navigate it with me.

You've come to the best place to do exactly that, Jenni, everyone here is really warm and friendly and we love to help and support each other.

I hope you and your partner reach a good understanding and can move forward together, so, whatever we can do to help, just ask.

Welcome to the family!

Allie

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Posts: 281
(@coloradog1)
Honorable Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Welcome Jenni! A lot of us understand the shame of having a secret side to ourselves and the mental toll it can take. The fact you came clean to your significant other so soon is great! Things can only get better for you from here! 

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Posts: 7810
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Jenni,

Welcome to CDH.  Good luck navigating the path on your journey.  Sounds like your partner is supportive so you are a lucky girl.

Alice

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Posts: 1114
Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Joined: 7 years ago

Hi Jenni.

Welcome to CDH. A friendly, understanding and supportive community.

Thank for sharing this nice and emotional introduction. You are now in the right place.

Gisela

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Posts: 328
Duchess
(@karla1958)
Honorable Member     Not in New Orleans, Louisiana, United States of America
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Jenni and welcome!

Heart

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Posts: 107
Guest
(@Anonymous 85825)
Estimable Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Jenni,

Welcome to the site. You will find people with similar stories and hopefully that will comfort you.

~Autumn

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Posts: 209
Lady
(@lillie)
Reputable Member     South Carolina, United States of America
Joined: 4 years ago

Welcome Jenni, glad you talked and told your partner. I came out 3 years ago, when I found CDH, there were a few hard days and we worked thru it. Just this last week I asked while cooking, do you find me sexily attractive? No response, but last night while at dinner, she opened about what I had said. She still finds it hard, but she is trying. Some of the old conversations came up, so she is trying. She is still hurt about the lying and still does not like day I went to pick her up and had lipstick on that I forgot about. Since the talk, we are going shopping this weekend, she has lost weight and needs summer clothes. I asked if she would pick something out for me. When I dress with her around, I always ask her to pick the outfit. So, we will see how it goes. Sorry for the long-winded welcome.

Keep the lines of communication open.

 

Lynne

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Posts: 6029
Hostess
(@fishingr8)
Illustrious Member     Montana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Jenni nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so do some looking around with some reading of the forums and posts with a few profiles thrown in for fun.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Well girl there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here to learn from as these ladies are telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they are on in life.. So when you get comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Jenni as she travels down her own girly path in life.. Now as for making friends here there are so many ladies from all over the world to build  long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you .. Once again girlfriend nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..

Stephanie Bass

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Posts: 19
Lady
(@tafftoonr)
Trusted Member     Swansea, West Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 11 months ago

Welcome. I think everyone has had the same experiences you have had and like most on here, you will come to a point where you are comfortable within yourself. Its a part of lifes journey. Embrace what you desire. Everyone on here is supportive, encouraging and experienced in what you have come through. 

Welcome and relax. Your with friends here.

Jane D

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Posts: 675
Duchess
(@catherine0918)
Prominent Member     Henderson, Nevada, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Jenni!

Welcome to CDH!

Like Ellie said: Thank you for that very full introduction! I know that your story will resonate with a great many of the girls here, and I'm sure that this post will draw in a good number of responses.

We all have a journey in CD'ing and you will find much of what you have experienced shared by people here and probably a little that is your own journey.

I think you will find this is a very supportive, welcoming and encouraging community.

Again, welcome to CDH!

Catherine

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