Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
Registered a few days ago and find the whole site quite befuddling.
Just very shy of social media in general all together
AMAB. Happily married with pleasant helpful wife of 54yrs who has taken each step I take with total equanimity. My real start into crossdressing started around 16 years ago with the advent of gynecomastia. My GP recommended a bra as the cheapest, no health risk option. He also warned that fat distribution would change and that clothes from across the aisle were likely to be more comfortable.
From there it was the slippery slope to womanly bliss. I have had no male clothes for many years. I did not make any real attempt to pass and was very happy in my unquestioned male persona.
A few months ago I had a real epiphany. Details may come with time but for now some bodily changes edging back towards maleness. A deep anger stirred within me and a resolve to stop this grew stronger by the day to the point of questioning the real inner "me". I have a close internet intersex friend across the pond to whom I unburdened my self to. I hesitated before pressing the send button but when I did .....WOW. The catharsis was instant whole body and emotional reaction that I can only describe as orgasmic....tears++ and deep sobbing over 10 minutes or more
So. Here I am after much reflection as a trans women though it is deeply psychological.
My only real difficulty is that I have grade 4 male pattern baldness. I will never really pass. I have wig that I love, but my body thermostat cannot cope. I have poorish circulation....cool hands and feet.Throw in a hot head after 30 mins under a wig and I become nauseous .
I have buzz cut remaining hair to 2mm and have shaved my unruly very sparse eyebrows and fully embrace the look but now want to blend in as a women and am experimenting with head scarves. Simple makeup would probably be the next step, but where to start?
I will never pass at close quarters, being 6ft 1inch and worsening balance doesn't help, much as I like heels they don't seem to be a good choice
So finally my aim is not so much to pass as to not stick out like a sore thumb. If I can achieve that at say, at 15 - 25ft distance I will be one very happy 78yo ladyj
If you've got this far, thanks for reading and listening
Sometime I might fill in a bit of back story from my very early years, school and work, that is enough for now. There are a few other odds and ends in my Bio
Shirley ❤️
@davros1946 Welcome to CDH!
Being tall is an issue (I'm a little bit taller than you before I put heels on) but you can always wear flats. If I go out dressed, it is well away from home to keep away from neighbours, but have got pretty confident with makeup and happy to walk in heels. I generally tend to avoid contact with people if out in the wild, but where I can't avoid it, try to be bold.
There are plenty of makeup tutorials on youtube, or if you feel brave enough, find a makeup artists who can teach you (I did just this).
The basics of starting makeup are shaving very well, a regular skin care regime and finding a good foundation for your skin tone (match the foundation to the colour of your skin on your upper chest). Other than that, ask away!
Hugs,
Anna xx
@davros1946
Hi, Shirley and welcome to our amazing community. We'll do our best to unfuddle you about the site 😊.
I don't have any social media accounts and I try to avoid describing CDH like that as we're so much more.
This is a safe place to share with like-minded sisters and be encouraged and supported. We are all at different stages but we share our love of expressing our feminine sides so make yourself at home.
If there's anything specific befuddling you, just shout and we'll do our best to help.
Oh, that reminds me, I noticed that you had posted your intro twice, it happens a lot as it can take a few seconds before showing as posted. No problem, I've just closed the other one, all your replies were to this post so nothing lost.
Enjoy your new home from home 😊.
Allie x
@davros1946
Welcome to CDH from across the pond, Shirley!
You're in the right place for all things feminine.
Many of us are 6 foot and over. Without heels. If you'll take notice there are lots of European models over 6 feet tall.
This site has tutorials on all aspects of femininity. Plus the inner net.
You're not alone with your particular issues. The girls here are compassionate, caring and understanding. We will help you in anyway we can.
Welcome to the Pink Fog!
Fran 🥰
@davros1946 Hi Shirley.........welcome to the site! I know what you mean about not being passable. I dressed up several years ago after I came home from cousin's wedding in New York. I shaved my legs, bought make up, a white mini skirt, a red burdick that covered my adam's apple and black mist pantyhose. I wore regular flat shoes. I was in my local laundromat when a female patron said to me "For a guy, you have really nice legs!". It was such a turn on to get a complement like that so I wouldn't necessarily let that hinder you. Don't let anyone or anything suppress your femininity. It is beautiful and needs to be shown! Cheers, Jen ;^>
Welcome to CDH, Shirley!
So finally my aim is not so much to pass as to not stick out like a sore thumb. If I can achieve that at say, at 15 - 25ft distance I will be one very happy 78yo lady
You have a variety of issues, Shirley, such as going bald but heating up under a wig, that I can't really give you any good feedback on.
However, you described a pretty specific issue quoted above. You want to dress in public more and more often without drawing undue, awkward attention. Fair enough. This is a very common scenario, though. A CD has been closeted most of her life and wants to carefully spread her wings. What to do?
At your / my age, we have to accelerate our dressing before the final checkered flag gets waved, so a compromise may have to be arranged.
There is dressing en femme (nice dresses / skirts, wigs, make-up, the whole works), but you seem to be saying that doing so in public is going to create issues for you. OK, what about taking a different tack?
Most women dress casually, today. Look around when you are abroad in, say, a mall or grocery store. How do real women actually dress compared to your ideal of how a typical woman should dress?
If you want to crossdress but not get clocked very often, then blend in with all of the other women who surround you. As much as you can, dress as they do. Wear the same casual clothes that they do. Shop where they shop.
This style of crossdressing has various names, but I like androgynous because you are masking what you are doing. You are wearing more or all women's clothes in public and you are not drawing lots of unwanted attention as a female because you aren't really presenting yourself clearly as either male or female. You just want to get on with your life while crossdressing. Right? At most you may make them ask, "what did I just see?" Keep'em guessing! According to the looks that I get, I make them ask that question fairly often, now.
Make it happen any way that you like. Pick the right clothes that allow you to stay in view but not draw the eyes of other people. When you do this you will be going public way more often.
We can follow your growth and your adventures if you write about them on CDH. I look forward to reading them.
@harriette Hi there,
Thanks for a detailed reply. Thoughtful and must have taken a while.
However I think you have not really understood. There is no problem to me about getting out and about almost from the very moment of trying on my first bra.
Up until the month or two, going out was free and and easy from the get go. But I have made no effort to appear as anything other than a man who wears ladies clothing. I didn't really care what others actually thought...live and let live.
Now there is the desire so deep within that I am embracing the fact that I am now a questioning trans woman and within the limits of the possible I want, no need, to express that.
I am very aware that especially on the makeup side it would be very easy to end up looking like a clown or Disneyland Fairy - no disrespect to either group - but is just not me.
Regarding head covering, using scarves in some styles, base ball caps bin more female colours with built in ponytail (I ready have white with prominent pink trims) also women's wide brim sunhats with fabric adornment all these have promise but just wondered whether anyone else has discovered a trick I am missing.
Shirley 💞
PS courage is not an issue for 7 years now I have ,sported double pierced ears and I wouldn't go anywhere without feminine studs in otherwise I would feel undressed.
Haven't yet tried danglies BUT there is a pair of quite large hoops and drop earrings in the drawer awaiting ba debut
@davros1946 OK, fair enough.
A "questioning trans woman" could mean a few things, though. Expressing that in public may draw attention that you say that you don't want.
@harriette Yes I can aware if the potential dangers but I'm in UK and find my area and rural areas are quite benign.
I'm only planning to push my boundaries further and not those inherent in society.
By being careful in Christian circles and the prison environment where I did voluntary work, life is sweet. The worst I have experienced is being aware of being looked at or quietly giggling teens across the road. They're welcome. it bothers me not one jot. That is with my head and face screaming "male". Softening that discord with breasts obviously supported bra., womens tops and skirts and coloured tights by judicious head covering and minimal everyday makeup will, if anything , draw even less attention from the hoi poloi
Hi Shirley Very nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so with a wealth of knowledge and experience here to learn from do some looking around and reading of the forums and posts from so many ladies here telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they are on in life.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. When you become comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Shirley as she travels down her own girly path in life.. Now as for making friends here girl there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you .. Once again girlfriend nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..
Stephanie Bass
Hi Shirley,
Welcome to CDH.
Alice
Thank you all for replies and warm feeling welcomes.
The courage to do my own thing has been there and growing since first donning a bra. Until now I have been quite happy to be seen as a man in women's clothing, but finally circumstances have tipped me very suddenly into being honest with myself and othersMy gynecomastia : a term I hate - for most it is NOT a condition needing treatment but part of normal spectrum from flat chested females to voluptuous males. My gynecomastia from the first has been a great blessing. My natural boobs are friends, not enemies and, as things have panned out, it costs me nothing to fill a bra!
If I have time later today (we have tradesmen in) I will try a fill out some areas not mentioned in my either my Bio and intro. I might even risk a head and shoulders au naturelle so you can see the blank canvas I am looking to tastefully paint on . We'll see.
Meanwhile thank you again.
Shirley
Shirley -
Welcome to CDH
XOXO
Suzanne
Welcome to CDH Shirley we're happy that you are here. This is a wonderful community with a lot of lovely ladies here to help you through your journey Glad you have a supportive.
Alexis Grace xx
❤️
