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I’m finally accepting my femme side. I have to hide from BF

15 Posts
6 Users
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Posts: 7
Lady
Topic starter
(@veronica22)
Active Member     Seattle , Washington, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I’ve finally accepted that my Cross dressing fetish, and my general effeminate way of being as a bisexual gender questioning person. My partner would not be supportive, so I have to hide that part of myself. While I am the “woman” in the relationship, he wants me to be a “normal” dude. Which I feel I am most of the time. He is into vanilla sex and I would enjoy more exotic things.  Any advice on how to hide this and express myself until my therapist and I can work on a plan for me to discuss relationship roles and intimacy with my partner? I’m honestly to shy to buy femme clothes in a sex shop. Would have to get a P.O. Box to be able to get anything. Anyway not sure if I’m quite transgender. I’m a femme gay male for sure, but just having these feelings arise after crossdressing as a young teen, and suppressing it with shame.

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14 Replies
Posts: 7139
Ambassador
(@rose)
Illustrious Member     Peterborough , Ontario, Canada
Joined: 8 years ago

Veronica, accepting your dressing is certainly a important step forward.  No need hiding yourself  here as we're supportive and caring and will help you all we can. Meet many of our ladies who are always willing to offer their help and advice to help you be better understand dressing and where and how to assemble a wardrobe. . Just ask your questions and many are happy to offer their help. To dress is such an exhilarating experience and so much fun when you can share it with others . Enjoy your time here and know your among friends who really do care about each other and who we are. Hugs..

Stephanie 🌹

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Posts: 3150
(@mnewman111)
Famed Member     Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States of America
Joined: 8 years ago

Welcome Veronica!

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Posts: 2537
Baroness
(@amylove2dress)
Famed Member     South Western Ontario, Ontario, Canada
Joined: 6 years ago

Accepting that this is a part of ourselves is important, and its' not a part that will just go away, if we want it too! Many here have been through that, only to have the "pink fog" descend again, and again.

I am not sure that I can offer advice about your relationship, but at least here you have acceptance from us. So, welcome. There have been some recent articles about how to open up to the SO in your life, perhaps give them a bit of a read, they can offer some advice.

Most of us have grown up learning that boys and men, gay or straight are supposed to dress a certain way, and for those of us that have this urge, need to dress in women's clothes, feel guilty about it, and tend to hide it from those we care about. The guilt is what is the hard part, but spending time here and reading about other people's stories I have been able to lessen the guilt quite a bit.

To lead a double life is difficult, and frot with pitfalls, plus the anxiety of being found out leads to much stress in one's life.

Amy

 

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Posts: 11
Lady
(@hayleysheels)
Active Member     Olympia, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 6 years ago

I don't want to step in it too much, but I'll do a bit of a word vomit and advise you take it as what it is, internet advice. 🙂

I think it's great that you're discussing such things with your therapist. Having an understanding ear is always helpful. Sometimes just being able to think out loud helps. I would say hiding anything from your partner is not helpful though. Hard to be open, honest and happy with who you are, if you feel you have to hide it. That a choice we all have to make though, about so many things. No judgement here though.

This might not go over well here, but I can understand it myself. You described your dressing as a fetish, and it's possible thats just what it is. Nothing bad about that, and most of us may have one or two fetishes of our own. What was once a fetish for me eventually changed into something more meaningful once I was able to explore and embrace it. As a "bi male" in a "straight" (and open) marriage, and a part time gal.... I've seen a bit of all sides. I hate labels though, as they never really describe who we are. You'll figure it out eventually, but my best advice is to not force yourself to be something that makes you unhappy.

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Posts: 7
Lady
Topic starter
(@veronica22)
Active Member     Seattle , Washington, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I appreciate all your voices.

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Posts: 7
Lady
Topic starter
(@veronica22)
Active Member     Seattle , Washington, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I just don’t know how I would even bring it up. I want to bring some of the aspects of it into the bedroom, but he likes muscular guys. He is like obsessed with bodybuilders. I like that he’s built, but I’m the girl in the relationship....I want to be “the girl” ya know. It’s what is satisfying to me intimately and in the relationship. It’s just frustrating. I was in the military for many years. I doesn’t enough time playing the thought guy. I’m done with all that tbh.

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Posts: 7
Lady
Topic starter
(@veronica22)
Active Member     Seattle , Washington, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I found some clothes. 😍

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Hooray , a fabulous feeling xxTiff

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Posts: 7
Lady
Topic starter
(@veronica22)
Active Member     Seattle , Washington, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I know right? My heart was pounding out of my chest. They are androgynous enough that they might even go undetected.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Fingers crossed on that , hopefully a little step forward , a could feel your excitement

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Posts: 7
Lady
Topic starter
(@veronica22)
Active Member     Seattle , Washington, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I sort of came out of the closet to to partner. He’s at least open to having some things I’m into being brought into our intimacy. I have all you you ladies to thank for the courage. Thank you!

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

<p style="text-align: center;">How wonderful , so happy for both of you , another small step successfully taken . ☺ Tiff</p>

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Posts: 7
Lady
Topic starter
(@veronica22)
Active Member     Seattle , Washington, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

I just got to wear my gay pride women’s leggings in full view of my partner. He didn’t mind at all. I’ve never felt so comfortable in my own skin.

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Fabulous xx Tiff

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