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My gender has never made sense to me and it doesn’t now. I’m in a different place than I’ve been before and I need information and advice.
I present as a large bearded long haired 6’2” 250lb male. Never felt like one and have avoided mirrors most of my life. That being said, though increasingly curious and confused, recently I have felt a shift. Whatever I am, it is now more female than it was. It is unclear to me what to do next. I don’t know what I want. But I also bought a dress and can’t stop online shopping for panties.
Thus, the need for information and advice. At this point I’m comfortable enough with myself that I will do the exploring and find an equilibrium in time. I don’t know how I want to present my gender and answering that question will take time.
right now though, I need to figure out sizes and I can’t seem to do it and it’s beyond frustrating. My waist is 38” to 39”. I’ve only ever needed that number and an in seem. These sizing systems are inscrutable and every website seems to size things differently.
Basically, I just want to know how to buy panties. Any help would be wonderful.
Try a size 9 or 10. Suggest that you buy briefs rather than bikini or high (French) cuts. Go for the higher waist panties, even if they do come up past your belly button.
Vanity Fair Illumination (13109) styles are quite comfortable and tend not to let your male parts hang out. A larger size is better as is a wider gusset (crotch).
I feel your pain. Try somethimg with a bit of give in it like cotton or a spandex mix material. As itll be a bit more forgiving and move with you. I find a thin panty liner adds to comfort and really help hide the bulge as well really enhancing the female look and feel. Hope this helps
Thanks! That was a very fast and helpful reply. I thought a 9 or 10 might work.
Follow up question: what do I do with the s m l xl xxl 1x 2x etc. sizings? And is there a different sizing scale with higher numbers? I looked at a couple things that sized me at an 18 I think? I must sound like such an idiot.
I really appreciate the help. I’ve legitimately spent my whole evening trying to understand sizing. That feels really embarrassing. The feelings are far too disorienting enough. There’s so much to learn and asking questions makes me so embarrassed I want to turtle up for the next millennia or two.
I really appreciate the help. Hopefully I find something that fits.
Thanks for the advice! I’ll try that.
Hi Attie the sizes are as follows:
Xs = size 2
S = size 4 & 6
M = size 8 - 10
L = size 12 - 14
XL = xtra large size 16 and so on
Thats a basic rundown and should get yo started understanding this daunting business.
We wont get into GB, Eur & Asian sizings!
If I've got anything wrong I'm sure someone else will put us right.
Welcome aboard by the way.
Diana.
Hi Attie, I have found thru trial and error this brand works for me quite well. The Bali Essential Double Support Hi-cut panties. I wear a size 10 and these are my routine go to panties. I'm also a 38 waist. When ordering clothes from Amazon read the sizing carefully and the comments too. If it is listed as Asian sizing then the sizes will be way off. I have found that clothing from Torrid fits really well according to their size charts. They have jeans that are just the best in fit. Shoes are the one thing that I have always had issues with. I'm a size 12 and I look for women's size 14 to fit. Again Torrid sandals in size 13 fit perfectly and some of their block heels are a perfect fit for me. Their shoes are also wide in the toe box. Shopping on line check the return policy before purchasing to see if they have free returns. So if it doesn't fit it's so much easier and cheaper to return.
Hugs,
Sandy
Hi Attie...
I’m 6’1” larger individual about 220lbs in imperial. Check out my public images.
I take a UK/AU size 18 so I’m thinking you could be similar or even a size UK 20. That’s about a US 16 I believe.
Attie... please get rid of the beard! Even if you have to do a wet and close shave every day... it will change the way you look at yourself!
Polly
Aloha.. and welcome Attie.. I see some of our girls have already given their help on sizing. That's wonderful but a good hint is looking for US sizes. There more into their true sizes and when you slowly discover your sizes it will be easier to find it correct. Asian sizes (China for Instance) are very much smaller... don't be discouraged everyone here I'm sure have made those mistakes just trial and error. Shoe's too it's very common. So relax do your homework and you'll be just find. Catching up in our forums is also great for information on those very topics.
Our ladies here are fabulous in helping out, from advice to tips on improving ones self to the emotional feelings we are experiencing .Make friendships and feel free to contact us if there’s anything that you may need. Happy to meet you and enjoy being part of a community that cares.
Stephanie 🌹
I'm going to be deliberately controversial and say only lose the beard if you want to.
I've met cross dressed men with beards - they're cross dressers, not woman impersonators!
And there's a few here - it's not wierd, just different!
Love Laura
Thanks Laura!
Devil’s advocate indeed.... sort of Prada meets Alaskan Man!
Attie... was saying that he/she was having a time of wondering how to ‘present’... and, personally, I loath beards!
The hairy chinned victorians and Civil war gentlemen... ohh... I cannot imagine! My wife says beards make her cringe... imagining trying to kiss someone through all that foliage!
Polly xxx
Thank you, Laura, I am one such, I have had a beard for over 45 years, and while I know it would vastly improve my look as a lady, and my wife keeps saying "if only you didnt have the beard", I am struggling to shave it off. It is a large part of who I have been all my life.
I will lose it one day, I'm sure, but it isnt a simple thing.
Hugs, Regi
Sending you a PM, Attie
Regi
Attie, dear, I am a girly man and it has
made life simpler. Don't have to worry
about passing, just dress for yourself.
I shop in person and take a tape and
look for older, black sales ladies. They
are easiest to work with, hands down,
never an eye roll!💕
Hi Attie nice to meet you you have nothing to be embarrassed about as we all were in this same boat when we started .. And girl never call yourself an idiot you are far from that like i said we all were there and getting help as in asking questions is the best way other than purchasing many sizes just having to return things if you can a waste a lot of time and money.. You are a sister here and as that you as like all others here we help our sisters with all things that we can as for your beard its yours keep or not its like everything here its your choice period not anybodys elses choice just you when its time and you will know you make that decision .. Listen to your girly heart its usually got the right answer for you to pick your clothing as dresses panties bras heels what ever you are working on just play and make Attie choices she will let you know what she wants he he ..Good luck girlfriend ..
Stephanie Bass
