just came out to my wife

Stephanie,, welcome and congratulations on your wife's acceptance Stephanie.. Here our ladies are so understanding , supportive and very accepting too.  Meet with some of them and enjoy their help and most of all  acceptance to  make your time here such a wonderful experience. Making friendships is so much fun and know there’s always someone here to talk to and to listen when needed.  Happy to meet you and hope to see you sometime here soon.   Hugs..

Stephanie 🌷

Hi Steph

Where and how far you go depends on you and your accepting wife, but experiences from and sharing with others here can possibly help you with some choices. Age matters very little, sometimes it takes us a while to gain the mental freedom to become our true selves.

always so aroused when dressed a bit emabarasing

Congratulations, Stephanie!!  You must NEVER take for granted the love you've been given by a supportive significant other!  I only started in December and have yet to come out to my wife but have been giving her many hints since then.  I've soaked up as much knowledge as possible since then and if there is one common theme to coming out is that the advice is to GO SLOW.  Now that she knows, don't jump in with both feet.  Toes first.  Then a foot and so on.

Regarding, the sexual nature of it, I felt very similar in the beginning. That part has waned for me, but I still get very excited and exhilarated when I dress, it's just less about sex.  Your mileage may vary  🙂

Use this site. There is a depth of knowledge and compassion here that consistently amazes me.  If you need one hand, you will get 50. This place is wonderful.  I wish you all the happiness you both can discover together!

*kisses* tara 🙂

I just came out to my wife also I'm 46 and we have been married for 25 years. She had kind of known for 15. I'm not sure what to do from here

Hi Stephanie  wow there goes that echo again anyhow  so happy you found us girls here at the best CD site on the internet so get settled in relax and enjoy your self ..As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms here in our home and as yours now also .. Theirs so much to see and do here from reading the forums and posts from many ladies here telling there stories about there travels down there girly road in life .. So when you get comfortable with us please join in with some comments to these ladies .. Then your turn just a story or two about the life and times of Stephanie  there that echo again hmm  of her travels down her girly path in life as her heart tells her what direction to go in .. As for making friends here there are so many ladies here from all over the world to build lasting friendships with .. So again nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime ..Please do us a favor and return to your profile page and fill in more please as this is how we get to know you better thanks

Stephanie Bass

Well done on coming out to your wife.  Keep talking, taking things at her pace and answer any questions (no matter how ridiculous you may think some of them sound) honestly and patiently.

Would your wife register on here as well? She could join the Wives & SOs group and get some support and advice from others who have been and are in the same position - it doesn't matter how supportive she is, from not at all to wanting to should it from the rooftops on your behalf, we bring quite a wide set of experiences to the table and are there for everyone.

Take things one step at a time and remember.to ask how she is feeling or coping as nd ask if she wants to ask anything as well.

Mxx

I think I can sense a bit of a cry for help here, and you do have a very supportive CD community ready and willing to help.

My best advice is just to keep talking and communicating  with your wife, talk, talk and then talk some more, at your own pace. There is no hurry. Do whatever it takes, take her on holiday (circumstances permitting), but try and get some quality time together to work things through. I have never personally been in your situation, but having thought about many similar examples your wife is likely to be feeling confused, uncertain, and above all insecure and threatened. All the more reason to give her all the love and reassurance that she needs at this time. I am sure you are doing this already, but try and put yourself in her shoes as best you can. However, also think about the great personal resources you have at your disposal: we are women on this forum, and this gives us great skills of intuition, empathy and understanding, so employ them wisely and positively. I don't know much about your circumstances as a couple, but I do know that with the right approach - patience, tolerance and forgiveness  - there is absolutely nothing that you can cannot work through together or resolve as a couple, and grow all the stronger and more formidable as a couple for it.

25 years of marriage are absolutely worth fighting for.

You have a great and supportive community on your side who just want you both to succeed and be happy, and you can call upon us whenever you want.

Much love

Diane xxx

Hi Stephanie,
Welcome to CDH.
Wyoming would love to get there one day.
Aussie country rodeo girl, wishing you my best.
Mikala xxxx.

Hi Stephanie There is a whole lot of Stephanie's here and there is room for a lot more. I was not as brave as you and like so many here. My wife found out THE HARD WAY she found my clothes. It would of been better for her and me if I told her first I know that now, so you did the right thing. I am amazed so many have gone so long without their wives finding out. I guess if your not looking you will not find maybe the answer to that one There is a whole lot  for wife can learn if she is willing. There is a SO section as some have already mentioned. You defiantly are not alone Thee so many other couples that are learning how best to deal with was is unknown to so many. My wife finds it cute and  curiously funny now that she understands that not much is has changed in our relationship. She may even find a new friend she did not know about. So welcome to the world to what so many do not truly understand. I hope its is enjoyable for you as it has been for me.

Stephanie

Hang in there Steph.  Keep the lines of communication  open.  Be prepaired to make compromises.  Telling my wife when we were dating was the best thing I could have done.

Stephanie,

Congratulations - you have found your way to the best place on the internet for knowledge, support, friendship and sharing our beautiful cross dressing selves with each other.

We have all been where you are in one form or another.  In addition to all the other great advice you're getting, let me recommend one book that you and your wife might want to read together.  It's called "Living with Cross Dressing - Defining a New Normal" by a CD named Savannah Hauk.  I've just finished it myself and it is the best book on cross dressing that I've come across to date.  And trust me, I read A LOT in an attempt to understand this aspect of myself and talk to my wife about it.

Because the book is written by a CD, it provides a personal, honest and quite courageous examination of the lifestyle - both good and bad.  Most importantly, there is a lot of advice on how to manage this within a relationship, based on the experience of the author and others.

In addition to the book (available on Amazon), there is a website: https://livingwithcrossdressing.com/

Now, all that said, the most important advice is to listen to your wife, listen to your wife, listen to your wife.  Try to keep the communication going but let her decide the pace.  When I first came out to my wife after 30 years of marriage,  we talked on-and-off about it for a few months but then there has been a long period where she simply said, "I'm still processing it." I have learned to respect that and as much as I want to keep discussing it with her, I will wait until she brings it up.  In the meantime, I keep it under the radar - only dressing when home alone (with her knowledge) but otherwise keeping everything else in our relationship the same - assuring her that I have no desire to stop being the devoted husband, father, breadwinner and companion that I've always been (but I appreciate that others in a similar situation may want to take their CDing beyond the closet).

It's not easy but you have taken the most important step.  Consider getting the book and perhaps suggesting that she read it, but do not force it.  It's possible she is also still processing and not ready to jump into this brave new world with you by reading books or anything else.

I wish you all the best - keep us posted as things progress, if you are so inclined.

Mona

Hi Stephanie,
Congratulations! It is a tough conversation, so kudos to you.
Xoxo kate

thank you all it has been wonderful and thinking of how to start being more femine