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hi everyone, Julie here - I've been dropping in for a little while and figure it is only polite to introduce myself.
I dress when I can, but haven't come out to my wife yet - though with the number of times I've played out "the talk" in my mind it often feels like I already have. Until I can introduce her to 'Julie' it is so nice to have some girls here to share & compare with.
Hi Julie, It's a big step I came out to my wife by accident. She came home early from work one day and there was Lanna. She took it better then I could hope. Girl there is no easy way, just build up the courage and have a sit down and hope and pray for the best.
Love,
Lanna <3
Hi Julie;
I'm so happy you introduced yourself to the rest of us girls. I fully understand the emotional isolation, and thus have found CDH to be such a loving way to connect with others.
I wish I could give you some foolproof advice about coming out to a spouse or S.O. After two divorces I've learned I can only be authentic and honest to myself and have to accept the reactions of others, no matter how much I loved them. Obviously, that's easier said then done.
I don't think my marriages ended because of my deep feminity, per se. In fact, by allowing my Erica to express herself has made me a much more sensitive and gentler person all around.
Rather, my relationships unraveled because of the secret I kept from my loved ones, the inability on my part to share with them, and all the embarrassment and shame I once felt. I believe those elements were the corrosive things that caused me to lose two very wonderful mates. I don't know how supportive they would have been of my feminine nature, but I never really gave them the chance. In retrospect, I wished I could have been honest with them by being honest with my self. It couldn't have turned out any worse.
But that's history. In embracing my Erica, I now feel a joy for life I never thought possible. I'm never going back. I accept who I am with love, and if I ever enter into another intimate relationship, that woman will also have to support me. Either way, I've chosen joy over fear.
Whew! Enough. Welcome, dear. All us girls at CDH are hear for you.
Erica
Tell her and let her decide how to handle it. My wife was not supportive at all! I finally left so I can try to be myself.
best of everything to you
Rachel
- When my wife and I were engaged I told her in a moment of crisis that there was a part of me that wanted to be a woman. Nine years later, through much research, I told her a couple months ago that I was actually a hetero crossdresser. This obviously is not the same as what you're gearing up for. I told her that if she had profound trouble with this aspect of me, I would cease. I told her that I valued her more than myself. Well, she quickly became okay with the idea, though she hasn't seen me or participated in any way. She works evenings a few nights a week so I have the time and space to dress. It's been wonderful. Keep us posted, Julie.
Welcome Julie. I have not long ago had "the talk" with my wife. She has been very accepting, though i think what helped is that she already suspected. I think that every woman is different and every marriage is different so there are no sure fire methods. Being able to see things from the other person's viewpoint is always a good step though.. and if you do go for it, try to offer lots of reassurance. She is not losing you, you are still the man she married.. its just there is a part of you that likes to be someone else now and again.
<p style="text-align: right;">Good luck! x</p>
