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Ok, first to understand my cross dressing journey a bit you need to know that I'm a bit of scardy cat. I have not taken many risks in life and tend to go with the flow. I like fitting in so when I had experience as a boy running around my house with my briefs hiked up into a thong, or tried to kiss a boy (lips!) felt the rush a fire when another boy grabbed my ass cheek, I ignored the signs.
Later when I grew up and had my first experience, I thought I was having sex with men and Transvestites because I liked "fighting back and dad". Or was too shy to approach women. That was the main one. Luckily a few approached me. So I dated both. Bit of a loner.
Then I put on my first pair of panties and I was done. I don't know why I did it the first time. Being seen? Grabbing attention? I do love attention. Don't we all girls? But being seen as a woman? I loved it. That was enough for years. Then in Vegas I decided to push the envelope. I picked up this cute jean skirt I loved and bought some black hose. Just that and went out to some gay clubs.
I think I got a jolt doing this at Trump Tower but I felt good, more empowering coming out to myself, there. I just loved it! I'm 6'6" and I'm not sure what I looked like at that point. But I just felt, confident and powerful for the first time in my life. I walked around my hotel and to local adult shops checking out mini skirts, window shopping for my next outing.
It was a convention in Hollywood. Black patent leather pumps, schoolgirl mini skirt, black hose, and my first attempt at makeup. I went out in the middle of the night, still a bit scardy cat-:), and took some photos of myself. When I saw them later, the only thing I could think of was, I'm actually pulling of this skirt with my long legs! And when I see myself on these shoes, THAT's me. That's who I am, really.
That's why I am mostly shy, love to laugh but not initiate, speak with a naturally soft voice, love the color purple, cock my hip, love cuddling, just to cuddle. Love being held. Love being made love to, as a woman, as much as that is possible for me.
I walked in my shoes and away from my hotel, walked several blocks fully as Kirsten. I didn't want it to end. Some guy called out to me. As a woman. I love this!
I came back to the hotel and knew I needed more. That day, I got a wig and tried it on in the bathroom at my hotel. Not bad! I was excited. Empowered. A new life opening up.
I went home with mini boots, garters and was ready to lean into a very robust adventure on my next trips. Then I forgot to unhook the Amazon photos app. Wife was scrolling one night and cursed out loud. There I am in my wig. Then she finds the video of me in my mini skirt blowing, myself kisses. She cursed. She never curses. Marriage almost ends. I give her the clothes and say I'll never do it again.
I do, do it again of course. I tell her I'm gay (I'm really bi but why go for half measures now). Try to take it back. Now I'm on probation for a year, barely in the house with my kids. Apparently I'm viewed as a safety risk. After raising 3 well behaved kids, one to adulthood. Anyway, it's come to a breaking point.
But here I go again. Chicago next week and I've picked out a lovely flowy black mini, and 4 inch black leather heals. I actually stole HER lovely black blouse with slits for the shoulders which I think is just divine. I just need to have them shipped.
But hesitating, wondering if I really need to do this.
I love the power and confidence I have for a moment. But if I'm unwilling to let Kirsten have her space, I wonder if it is worth it. The cost, to all. But now I'm wondering how good I can get at this and for some reason, to me, that matters.
Walking down the street at night with my long strides clicking behind me, echoing out, signaling to all that Kirsten is coming. . . I can't tell you the intoxication...
Kirsten is bold. She is flirty and open to taking risks and I love that about her.
If Kirsten ever gets out one day, look out!
Thinking of going just so you guys can tell me how I'm looking. My vanity you see... I think the makeup girl would take some shots, in airplane mode!
Welcome Kirsten to CDH nice to meet you sounds like your journey and adventure has been a blessing in the CD world sorry to hear about the family situation it’s usually hard on SO when they first find out hopefully things get better for you in that situation CDing can be hard emotionally mentally physically hope you able to work all things out and continue your journey regardless you have this community to share with everyone here is supportive and caring don’t be shy around here hope to see you around the site and hear more about your adventures TC
Hi Kirsten nice meeting you and happy you found and joined us girls here so keep looking around and reading the forums and posts from so many ladies here telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they are on in life.. As a new sister and family member here you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. When you get comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Kirsten as she travels down her own girly path in life .. Now as for making friends here girl there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you ..Once again girlfriend nice meeting you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..
Stephanie Bass
Hi Kirsten,
Welcome to CDH. Thanks for sharing your story.
Alice
Thanks Alice. Appreciate the support.