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I have been CD since my early teens and love to dress in very modest skirts, blouses and dresses. Until 2 years ago, I hid this from everyone including friends, family and my wife of now over 17 years. I finally revealed my love of all clothes feminine to my wife and she was initially supportive. She even bought some clothes for me, but I pushed the issue too quickly for her and her stance has now changed. She views CD as a sexual addiction and has become much more negative about it. I love her dearly and don't want to hurt her, but I don't think I can put the clothes back into the closet. What resources are available to help us?
While I enjoy dressing and love being a crossdresser, I believe there can be a fetish aspect to it. I've experienced that myself especially when young. I wanted to wear what girls I had a thing for were wearing. I wanted to look like and be like them.
I always pushed the limits in trying to be sexy looking. My heels were usually a bit too high. My dresses and skirts a bit too short, my breasts sometimes a bit too big, my hair too wild and free, and my make up usually overdone and over the top.
I wanted to get noticed. I would fish for compliments. I got hit on lots of times by guys and girls. I loved it. It was a thrill and rush in so many ways. Much of it a sexual thrill.
I can understand where some might think crossdressing is a sexual addiction or fetish. Sometimes it is. Even for myself, other dressers think I'm more of a fetish dresser than anything else. I enjoy looking like girls I would like to be intimate with. I don't disagree with that. I think they have a valid point.
Many of the girls I know are way more serious than me. They seek the entire feminine image. They choose what they wear carefully to look their best. Then there is others who are trans.
There's such broad aspects to this. I don't think it can be defined in any one way. You may be able to enlist the help and support of others here. There may also be help and support groups located in your area. Good luck
Hi Just me! I am saddened to hear about your wifes' turn about. Perhaps you did something CD'g that upset her???? I think that the desire to cross dress maybe a little sexually oriented at first but I also believe that it drops way down on the list after a while. I think that most of our girls will agree with this. Even being married to a genetic female...at first...yes sex is a big component. As time goes by..it is less and less desired. Discuss with your wife why she was turned off......this is the path to reconciliation....if that is what you desire. I wish you good luck in this matter. If you wish to discuss the issue further...just contact me and I will send you my e-mail.
Dame Veronica
In my case, I don't dress provocatively- my dresses and skirts are all below the knees, my blouses are not revealing, I never wear stilettos (they hurt too much- I prefer flats), and my bras and underwear are all very conservative. I wear more capris with simple blouses. Admittedly, some (but by no means all) of my clothes do cause arousal in me, but that is not the reason I CD. I want to be free to express my feminine side while showing my wife that I adore and respect her as well.
To start you need to slow it down especially around your wife. Think of what she's feeling now . Opening up is a big step for both of you. Allowing you to be finally totally honest with her with kept secrets that she is likely wondering about. Her acceptance at first was most welcoming and with such a change in your relationship many a talk is needed to assure agreements are met and guidelines put in place making all comfortable on this transition in life. As for me I saw my wife's hurt with holding a secret from her to confusions why . For 17 years she saw her man now things are different . She may still want and need her man at times and your speed to discover your new passions is frightening to her and overwhelming. Assure her your still there and give her control to your dressing. It's hard as I felt but this helped in moving forward to a better understanding for all . Here you'll find many of your answers with our articles written by members experiences. And also most importantly we have a beautiful place ,a private group for your wife (wife's and significant others.) Where she can talk to, listen and read the stories of true gg ladies. Only them no cds allowed where the help and answers she may be seeking can be found . Best to you both , hope can be just a talk away. 🌹
Welcome. Slowing down or going in and out of the closet can be very dificult. Your wife however, needs time and support to internalise and process her emotions. This may be big for you but right now its HUGE for her. Patience and comunication are important. I read a post on another forum that helped me a lot with this. Pm me and i will send you a link.
I had the same problem with my girlfriend, you have to sit her down and explain why you crossdress, is it because it gives you a piece of mind? Does it make you to keep your sanity? Before anything else you have to ask yourself "Why do I crossdress"? Once you get your facts together before you sit her down for the serious talk about your desire of cross-dressing also remember always, cross-dressing doesn't identify your sexual preference that's up to the individual that is thinking the same thing yes they're are Crossdressers that are gay, and bisexual, I am a crossdresser that is bisexual. I get questions from men mainly just because I go both ways and they think that I would just have sex like a sex junkie. I'm not denying the people that asked me why I choose to have sex..... That's besides the point just sit her down for the long serious talk cause there will be questions at the end. Stay strong guy wish you the best
