Married life, young children, and a CD Journey

Hi J.,

Welcome to CDH!  Be sure to check the wives only forum.

Alice

You are one amazing, very rare woman. Cheers to you sister! She’s a lucky girl to have you. I too have a supportive wife, but it is a slower journey for her. Baby steps. I would love to hear more about your relationship, if you care to share. Hugs to you and thank you for joining here and sharing your wonderful story!

J..... welcome is so nice meeting you. Your a very special partner and very understanding I must say. Your partner is so fortunate. There are certainly many happy stories about couples discovering this unique relationship but  unfortunately many don’t.
This is certainly the place you’ll find many of the answers you are seeking. Only a few years  ago that I opened up to my wife after 40 years of marriage. It was a huge surprise for her and certainly very emotional. The biggest concern was the mistrust I caused. Seeing her and the hurt that it caused was hard. We had many talks and through this agreements and guidelines were set and together were slowly working it out. But Cdh and it’s resources helped my wife and myself understand more about our individual troubles. I learned more about myself and girl we do have a wonderful group here exclusive for significant others where many GG gals like yourself could receive the help and support to get the answers your wanted to know. There you can really enjoy chatting with others like you and truly enjoy conversations in your circle.
This group – private ( wives and significant others ) . For you special ladies where Cders are not allowed. Meet with them and get the support you need. Look into other forms written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic.
Links to where Eleanor can be found on the Meet the Ambassadors page.  I have provided the link to that page below.   Eleanor is  our gg ambassador on site.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/groups/wives-and-significant-others/

Now you need to get him/her to join too. She will definitely enjoy this amazing place. Hopefully she opens up to you again.
So now relax, get comfortable and enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. The best to you both as you venture through these new paths together . Very happy meeting you and welcome.
Stephanie 🌹

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I’m open to sharing more about our relationship. And I’m the lucky one to have married a wonderful man that just also happens to be a beautiful loving woman.

Bless you, young lady; you are a CD's dream, and angel is disguise.
We don't understand this compulsion which leads us into Dressing, and unless/until we learn to accept ourselves, life can be very confusing. Please, get your husband to come by for a look at us; he will not regret it.

Hugs,
Bettylou

Thank you so much Stephanie. Tonight we have planned one of our slumber parties. I’m hoping to bring up CDH to her during our mani/pedi girl talk.

💕 Thank you. I will be talking with her tonight and I hope she is receptive to the idea of joining.

Beautiful have a wonderful time ❤❤

J, welcome to CDH 🌸🦋 I hope things work out well!! 🏳️‍⚧️🌼

Congratulations on your loving acceptance of your husband, and his femme self. He has a battle with his own image, but is a loving human, and you see this in him.
Your acceptance will only improve both your lives and futures. That is what we all need.. love and kindness.
Best wishes
Jane Elizabeth
Hobart

Hi J Shore, Teralynn here. Welcome to CDH Luv. When you have your next sit down conversation with him make sure he understands that you love him whether he is presenting himself as a male or a female - you love both and he should choose when he should dress as his feminine persona. A lot of (mtf) crossdressers enjoy expressing a feminine persona but also worry that their significant others will somehow no longer see them as a man. Anything you can do to assure him that you still love him and see him as your husband and enjoy times when he expresses his feminine persona will give him the confidence he needs to not worry about losing his masculinity and marital relationship because he enjoys crossdressing. The recommendation to advise him to join CDH is a very good idea. Nothing like  seeing how other crossdressing people in similar situations handle their feelings. You joining the support group for significant others of crossdressing people is also a great recommendation. Since you also have two young children you two need to have a serious conversation about when if ever you will explain father’s crossdressing to them. I recommend you wait until they reach the later teenage years, depending on their maturity, to bring the subject up. That means he will have to pick the occasions he dresses very carefully. If he enjoys crossdressing as much as I think he does, then stopping completely is not a solution and could actually cause a more significant problem. Your joining CDH was a terrific idea because we care about not only the crossdressing person but also the significant other of crossdressing people, especially ones who are willing to accept and support their (mtf) crossdresser. If I can ever be of service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. I have been a crossdresser for over two decades. Told my wife when I first found out about Teralynn. I am perfectly comfortable espressing my feminine persona (Teralynn) and my male persona (John). The fact that I enjoy dressing as Teralynn doesn’t make me feel like less of a man, just like expressing my male persona doesn’t make me feel any less like a feminine being either. As far as I am concerned I am both and dress according to the situation I am in. It is all in how you mentally see yourself and you can train your mind to be who you want to be in any given situation. A post on my home profile page wall or a private message will get the fastest response if either you or your husband would like more information from me concerning this. Good luck to the both of you! You appear to be such an understanding spouse, I can’t imagine the two of you not being able to satisfactorily work things out. - Blessings from Teralynn

Hi. First off I want to say that like you I am 34 and have a three year-old. If my wife felt the way you do about all this I would have nothing to worry about for the rest of my life. That really would be the conclusion of all my fears, so keep it up.

I feel that what plagues most of us - especially in our generation where there is acceptance, but after decades of wilful ignorance and too many terms to do any good, is how little room there is to explore. Like how trans women of the past needed to make sex change their first step, it's very all or nothing. This is the biggest difference between gender and sex. Think you may prefer men? It won't take much effort to give that a try and if you don't like it, you never have to do it again. Think you would prefer to live as a woman? Now it gets a lot more complicated.

I imagine your husband is worried that the further he gets into anything, the more he risks some of what matters getting lost. Personally, there are times I am 100% certain I am a trans woman, even if I never do anything more than accept it. Other times I think of all the reasons I would never want to be seen as a woman by anyone, even myself. I can't risk losing what I have as a man, but I also would never want to forget the woman inside, I've hurt her enough as it is.

I am curious about your son's knowledge about the situation. If you have viewed it sexually I would image - and hope, not much, but his knowledge of "gender divergent" people will come soon and I think it best to not hide it if a parent is like that, even in the smallest ways.

I hope any of that has helped and given our similar situations, I would be happy to discuss it further.

Hearts and rainbows,

Aoife

You are so wonderful to be so supportive. I just started crossdressing less than a year ago and I shared my femme side with my wife right away because I didn't want to keep it from her. I too am so fortunate to have a loving and caring partner. I can tell you that even though she supports me, I also have internal conflicts. We are much older than you and your partner, our daughters are grown and on their own, but we just welcomed our first grandson. He was born just a few months after I started crossdressing and I became extremely insecure because I know if his paternal grandparents even find out about Lola they will do anything to keep us away from him. Even though we live in a more accepting society, there's still a lot of hate and fear out there. I go through the same highs and lows that you described. One day my Wife and I will be looking at clothes together and having some great girl time, and the next day she might say "this would be cute on Lola" and I'll snap back something like "I don't want to talk about Lola right now"! On several occasions I've packed up all my girlie stuff and said "I'm done" but I know I'm not because Lola is a very important part of me...and I've spent a LOT of money on that stuff! LOL.
Keep doing what you're doing, you are so wonderful and your partner is so very lucky to have you. Just try to remember that when your sweet partner pushes away the feminine side, that's when the struggle or conflict or whatever is him causing him to push her away, is the worst. You are right not to push. Just be there and be strong for your partner. Love to both of you!

Welcome J!