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Hi Vicki!
Hi I’m Vicki. I struggle all the time about what I like and trying to please my wife of 42 yrs. I’ve only worn complete outfits for halloween by would like to a lot more. I’ve had manicures and pedicures for years now and about a year of wearing makeup and earrings all the time,and wear heels a lot. I had an appointment with my doctor today to ask for testosterone blockers and estrogen (HRT). Unfortunately he doesn’t do that so a referral was sent today. God only knows how long It’ll take to get a response for an appointment and get started. Needless to say my wife’s anxiety has risen. My goal is to look and feel as feminine as possible. I have to keep expectations low. I’m not a looker and am 66 yrs old next month. I will be keeping my private parts, as much as I want to be a woman I will still be into woman sexually. Also I am so confused as to where I stand with all the labels and acronyms out there. I believe I’m more than just a part time cross dresser but maybe more transwoman? I really wish I had be born a hermaphrodite! The best of both worlds.
Victor (aka Vicki)
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I'm Sandie. I read your story and found it was very interesting.
I'm 61, myself, and have been cd since I was a teenager.
You'll find on cdh site that you're not alone in your feelings and journey. Others have gone before you, and others will continue after you.
So, welcome and explore the cdh site.
Hugs,
Sandie ❤️.
Welcome to CDH Vicki!
This is a starting point on your journey in the Pink Fog.
Explaining crossdressing to the outside world is complicated enough. When we can't explain it ourselves.
At what stage you want to be at and what you are willing to endure is a significant and sincere look at yourself. You will find a lot of girls wearing the same heels.
I'd say take your time pause and look around. You have a host of supportive sister's here.
Wishing you all the best!
Fran 🥰
Hi, Vicki, thanks for your fullsome introduction and welcome to CDH. I can see why you say that you are confused, there's a lot of issues you're dealing with. Hopefully, taking the first step to share them with us will lead to less confusion and more self-acceptance.
I see you joined two weeks ago so you'll know why we love this place so much, everyone is genuinely friendly, understanding and supportive. We are understanding because we have all gone through/are going through very similar things.
First of all, you are not alone, you now have this family to listen, to empathise and, where possible, to offer suggestions that you may find useful in addressing each of the issues you are currently facing. I should say here that I'm not a therapist, just another human being who is trying to make sense of the theatre that is life. That said, I have made more progress in trying to achieve balance and peace in the eight months I've been a member here than I did in 50 years of self-analysis. That is down to the friends I've made and the discussions I've engaged with, there's a wealth of knowledge and experience here.
Your intro reminds me of the question of how to eat an elephant - one bite at a time. [Disclaimer:No elephants were harmed in the formulation of this reply]. I urge you to revisit what you wrote and break it down into discrete parts. Then just tell us what's the most important to you and why. We'll offer our perspective and you'll then have some options to consider. Maybe none will appeal to you but, on the other hand, there may be something that strikes a chord. You will lose nothing but may gain a great deal, only you know you.
In any event, there's still lots to do here so please do explore and engage, and keep talking.
Allie x
@trickyvicki Hello I've also been in welcome Vicki...thanks very much for sharing your story; happy to know you. My GF says if she can wear jeans and a t shirt, why can't I choose "wares", which are very femme without judgement. We celebrate feminine masculine "success", so feminine expression of mostly genetic males should be equally celebrated! Happy for you & your SO; sounds like there must be good communication despite some uncertainty. Have a great week! ox Kyra <3<3<3
Hi Vicki and welcome to CDH. You've taken a brave and positive step joining us. The girls here cover all points on the crossdressing spectrum and plenty will relate to your circumstances. Read the forums and you'll benefit from the wealth of experience here. Labels are unimportant. What matters is that you feel at peace with yourself, and reaching out here will help that process enormously. We can't really help with how your wife reacts to all this. Only you know her well enough, but the key is to maintain dialogue. The relationship with SOs is covered extensively here and reading other girls' stories will help you to understand the possible scenarios. I do so hope you can find peace on your journey, and please do ask any questions you might have.
Hugs, Chrissie xx.
@trickyvicki Labels do help us identify things, so it's natural to search for one when you're confused about how you feel.
However, I feel the thing is this: labels are things we use so we can all agree on something. "This is a hammer, that is a wrench." It avoids confusion when discussing those topics.
What you're searching for is who you are, and for that I don't think you need a label. However you feel right now, that's categorically the right answer. Might it change as you grow and learn? Sure, possibly, but the one thing you can't possibly do is mislabel yourself because who knows you better than you?
I'd suggest focusing more on where you want to go, and less on what label you put on the outside. Truth is more likely that the closer you get, the more obvious it will become and the less it will matter. 🙂
Hi Vicki,
Welcome to CDH!
Alice
Hi Vicki nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so do some looking around and reading of the forums and posts from so many ladies here telling there stories about there journeys as they go down the femme road they are on in life.. So as a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. When you are comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Vicki as she travels down her own girly path in life.. Now as for making friends here there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you.. Once again girlfriend nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..
Stephanie Bass
Hi, Vicki. 65 here on the way to 66 here. I have had similar experiences and confusions, I believe. I’m about 2.5 years into gender affirming hormone therapy. It has been quite an experience. And I wrestle with my needs and desires and those of my spouse a lot. Hang in there, friend.
hi Jess
how did your wife take the news you wanted HRT? My wife said her anxiety has risen. It took a while for her to accept I wear makeup now and often heels and hands are always manicured.
