Notifications
Clear all

Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.

Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.

New and nervous

39 Posts
28 Users
98 Reactions
209 Views
Posts: 11
Lady
Topic starter
(@alicewa)
Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 month ago

Hi ladies,

Finally decided to join what seems to be a very supportive community. I've cross dressed for as long as I can remember starting with my sisters dressing up clothes when we were very young. This ended when it became more obvious that dresses were not supposed to be for little boys. It was then a case of brief opportunities when I was a teenager to wear my sisters lovely bridesmaid dress when I was home alone but always with the fear at the back of my mind that I would be caught. I pushed it down again for years as I lived in various shared houses and then with a previous girlfriend. Then when I was in my early 30s I met my now wife and after living together for a few months I couldn't suppress my femme side anymore and one night after drinking a lot of wine she could see i was holding something back and desperate to talk, but I couldn't bring myself to reveal my secret. So my wife tried to guess what my dark secret was with me replying no after each guess. When I finally revealed I like to wear women's underwear her response was "is that all!".  Over the weeks I revealed more, the fact I want to wear dresses as well plus shoes and eventually in time when my wife was ready hair and make up as well. Fast-forward 16 years and I am still very much in the closet with the rest of the world and want to keep it that way. But I realise I am incredibly lucky to have my supportive wife who is happy for me to dress whenever I want at home (although I dont when kids are home which is tough because they are young). But my wife goes dress shopping with me and treated me to a few days aways last year in a secluded spot so I could be Alice for an extended amount of time.

Depsite not wanting to reveal my femme side to more people I know in my life I would like to have the opportunity to go out to specific venues or weekends away as Alice. But I don't know where to start. I'm not ready to just go out and about in town or to a standard pub/club night. But if there are things like nights specifically for cross dressers or weekends away at hotels then this could be time for Alice to step out! I'm based in Chippenham in the UK. 

 

Sorry for the long intro! It's good to talk 🙂

Alice x

Reply
38 Replies
24 Replies
(@fabulous1)
Joined: 8 months ago

Reputable Member     Forest Hill, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 145

@alicewa Alice, it is very nice to meet you. I really like that you have shared so much about yourself in your intro. No need to worry. You are in a safe place. Myself and the girls here will get to know you and help you in every possible way. Keep up the communication and let us know what you need. Relax, you are among your sisters. And we care about each and every one of our siblings. Welcome!

Reply
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@fabulous1 thank you for the warm welcome x

 

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5171

@alicewa 

Hi Alice

Welcome to CDH from another UK girl - I'm in Norfolk 🙂

If you're interested, a group of us are organising a UK-based event on Friday 1st August. Currently it looks as though there might be 30-40 CDH members in attendance, but the number is growing:

CDH@LFF - the big meet up, August 1st 2025 – Local Events and Meetups – Crossdresser Heaven Forums

We'll start a more formal 'sign-up' process in late spring, but I know that people are already making hotel bookings.

Hugs

Ellie x

Reply
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@ellyd22 thank you Ellie, it sounds amazing but unfortunately I am on holiday then. But it's definitely the type of event I would be interested in, I hope there are more events like this that I can make. Even though the thought of it brings me out in a cold sweat I love the thought of stepping out as Alice x

Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2154

@alicewa 

Welcome to the family, Alice!

As Penelope says, this is a safe place to share with like-minded sisters. A supportive wife is considered the "Holy Grail" among a lot of our less fortunate members but the safety, community and comfort you'll have here is an invaluable resource.

Regarding going out en femme, I had never dared, apart from one night time dash to the car, five minute drive and an even faster dash back into the house. Last October, after being a member here for about eight months, I attended Leeds First Friday with the encouragement and support of dear friends I've made here. Two days, en femme, in public. One of the most fun, exciting and yet, perfectly natural things I've ever done. 

In March I'm going for a joint makeover and photo session with two friends, and we'll enjoy another couple of days and evenings together.

And, as Ellie has mentioned, our inaugural CDH@LFF in August. You'll see that wives and SO's are welcome too, at our age we don't want to wish our life away but I cannot wait until then, it's going to be brilliant!

Anyhoo, enjoy your new community and don't hesitate to ask if you need anything or have any questions.

Allie x

Reply
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@alexina thank you Allie, it's a real shame I can't make the August LFF event. I feel like I have so many questions about what it is like to step out en femme! Especially for a whole weekend. Sounds amazing! 

X

Reply
Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2154

@alicewa 

It was, Alice. And, the sky didn't fall, people of a gentle disposition didn't faint and no-one mocked my prosthetic nose 👍.

As I said, if you have any questions....

Reply
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@alexina thank you Allie, LFF sounds like a real possibility for me if I can work up the courage. I'll probably be too nervous to go out during the day around town. But if the evening involved being in a safe supportive space with others en femme then that's exactly what I've always wanted to do 😊

Reply
(@caroline2k)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 606

@alicewa Hello Alice and welcome, from another UK girl 🙂
I'm in a similar situation to yourself with an amazingly supportive partner (although I waited 20 years to tell her!) and mostly an indoors girl.

Reply
Lady
(@joannajoy)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member     British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 191

@alicewa Welcome Alice… you have  come to a wonderful place!! Hugs.. jo

Reply
Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3991

@alicewa Welcome to CDH, Alice!

There are many different ways that a CD can crossdress. Some only dress at home, some only underdress, some always dress en femme. I get the feeling that your dressing  style restricts how you dress.

If this is true, then would you be willing to shake things up a bit, so that you free yourself, to dress more often in public?

Reply
Lady
(@orcharddwee)
Joined: 4 months ago

Estimable Member     Staten Island, New York, United States of America
Posts: 81

@alicewa your story resonated with me a lot since I went through a lot of the same experiences you had. So glad that you can be open and honest with your wife. I started going out to nightclubs en femme last year and it's given me a lot of confidence where I no longer care who finds out if I dress up, leading me to posting my pics on here and even going out during the daytime. Please keep in mind I'm not telling you these things to push you out of your comfort zone. By all means, you have to keep yourself safe and only you know what's best for your situation. Stay comfy. I just want you to see that there is hope for us to be out more and that you might one day feel inspired to finally step out. But again, no rush! As I like to say, as long as you're dressing however you want to, then you're doing it right. Cheers and welcome!

Reply
Ambassador
(@gafran)
Joined: 9 months ago

Noble Member     Warner Robins, Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 1100

@alicewa 

Welcome from across the pond to CDH, Alice!

 We are happy that you can join us. We're all about supporting and assisting our sisters here. Our girl's are compassionate, caring and understanding. 

 Your in the right place for all things feminine. 

 Look about this site to find friendships, chat, information and answers to your questions. 

 Welcome to the Pink Fog!

 Fran 🥰 

Reply
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 166

@alicewa 

Welcome Alice!

Your story sounds quite similar to mine.  I too have a very supportive wife and when our kids were still home we would go away for weekends out of town where I would get to dress and we would go for rides in the car but never out and about.  Now that my kids are both grown, married, and out of the house I've opened up to them as well. I work from home and get to dress almost every day . My wife and I now regularly go out as girlfriends with a CD group that I connected with in a nearby city.  I don't want to go public in the small town where I live as it's terrible conservative here.  I see you are in the UK so I'm not able to make any recommendations but I know there are may others in your area that can guide you in how to take your first steps out.  

 

Reply
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@mkat3874 thank you Michelle, yes does sound similar! My wife has said when the kids leave home I can dress at home whenever I want which will probably be most of the time although not always hair and makeup. But that's still at least 10 years away so I need to not look to far ahead as lots can happen. I always presumed I would never tell my kids, how did yours react?

Reply
Duchess
(@mkat3874)
Joined: 4 months ago

Reputable Member     Northeast GA , Georgia, United States of America
Posts: 166

@alicewa 

I have two daughters both married.  I told my oldest last year when she was 25.  I thought she had caught me dressed once when she came over unannounced.  Turns out she actually didn't but I decided it was time to stop hiding.  That's another story for another day.  She was incredibly accepting, but I think that's more common for the younger generation.  She wanted to see my clothes and help me with my makeup.  I told my youngest daughter a couple days later.  She was 23 at the time.  She was also super accepting.  She comes over some times and borrows some of my clothes.  All in all it has made our relationships even stronger.

 

Reply
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@mkat3874 thank you Michelle, yes does sound similar! My wife has said when the kids leave home I can dress at home whenever I want which will probably be most of the time although not always hair and makeup. But that's still at least 10 years away so I need to not look to far ahead as lots can happen. I always presumed I would never tell my kids, how did yours react?

Reply
(@jessicacynthia)
Joined: 2 months ago

Reputable Member     London, United Kingdom
Posts: 178

@alicewa Welcome to CDH.

Reply
Baroness
(@annaredhead)
Joined: 11 months ago

Famed Member     Cornwall, United Kingdom
Posts: 1777

@alicewa Welcome to CDH! I'm also married to a supportive girl, but it took me 25 years to tell her about Anna.

We went looking at wedding dresses (for me) in Chippenham last summer, there's a really good charity shop near the bridge.

Hugs,

Anna xx

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@bellaz76)
Joined: 4 months ago

Prominent Member     London, Middlesex, United Kingdom
Posts: 342

@alicewa welcome Alice, I was going to mention the Leeds event, but just seen Ellie has already sent you that info, shame you are not around that weekend but hopefully there will be more options.

i am also from the UK , London based and I am the wife of a CD who is also a member here. We both love being here and I’m so pleased that your wife is supportive of your dressing too!😘

if your wife ever fancied joining up too, I’d love to connect with her, we have a private wives and significant others group, but I also spend a lot of my time here on the main site chatting with my new CDH friends , it’s so much fun and such a supportive community.

look forward to chatting some more ❤️💓❣️

Reply
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@bellaz76 thank you Laura for those very kind words. Everyone has been so kind and supportive here. I love the idea of my wife and I meeting up with others like yourself but with young kids a weekend away for both of us is hard enough and my wife is not comfortable with trying to sneak away and potentially lying to keep our true destination a secret. I completely respect that, but it does mean I am flying solo for now and I also hope other opportunities come up soon that I can make. I can't wait to head out somewhere in a lovely dress and heels and finally meet like minded others. I look forward to chatting more too! It's amazing to have people like you and my wife who understand ❤️

Reply
(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1443

@alicewa Alice, welcome to CDH from another UK girl, I'm closer to London.  This is absolutely the right place to connect with likeminded sisters from all over the world, there's so much warmth, support and friendship here.  Looking forward to getting to know you 🙂

I see Ellie's already told you about the big CDH UK meetup at LFF in August, and it's a shame we won't get to meet you there this year.  But exactly the sort of hotel weekends that you're thinking about do happen.  Look up Transliving International in Essex - while that's a bit far away from you for their regular club nights, they do have weekends away in Eastbourne and Bournemouth on their calendar. 

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

Reply
(@debsuk)
Joined: 2 months ago

Eminent Member     High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 13

@alicewa 

Welcome Alice from another UK lady. Your history looks quite similar to mine (and many others). Having a supportive other so enhances the enjoyment of feeling feminine I find.

Debbie x

Reply
Baroness Annual
(@fembecky)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
Posts: 596

@alicewa 

Hi Alice, and welcome to CDH from yet another) UK girl. I am not too far from you as I am in the Cotswolds.

Thanks for the full introduction. Many people have already said what a safe and supportive site this is, so I don't need to repeat that. As Melodee has said "you get out of it what you put in". That is so true; I joined a few years ago but it was only when I started to get fully engaged with the site that I really started to benefit from it.

A couple of years ago I would never have dreamt of going out dressed with my wife, but for the last 18 months that has been a daily occurrence for us and it has just become so normal. Many people we meet know me from years gone by, but have been so totally accepting of the way I choose to dress. It is fantastic to have a wife who is supportive of your cross dressing; you are very fortunate.

Of course, your cross dressing journey will progress at the pace you find is right for you. Sometimes you will be amazed at the big steps you find you can take. 

Best wishes and hugs,

Rebecca x

 

Reply
Posts: 160
Guest
(@Anonymous 88536)
Estimable Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Welcome from a Yorkshire , you are very lucky to have a n understanding wife , my wife is also very supportive  if you ever need any tips then there is plenty of helpful girls  CDH

 

 

 

Reply
Posts: 2095
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Alice -

Welcome to CDH. It is lovely that your wife is so supportive, mine is as well.

XOXO
Suzanne

Reply
Posts: 1038
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

@alicewa Welcome! 🙂

It's a big step to make any sort of public acknowledgement of your feminine side - it's new, you don't know what to expect, and you're likely still battling the whole notion internally.

But like most things you get out of it what you put in. I'd suggest taking a stroll through the forums, finding topics that pique your interest and responding if you feel you have something to add or ask. 

If/when you feel up to it, dip your toe in the chat and interact with some people and I think you'll find this is not really much different than a site dedicate to golf or billiards - conversations between people of a certain tribe, sharing a common interest.

Again, welcome and congratulations! 🙂

Reply
2 Replies
Lady
(@alicewa)
Joined: 1 month ago

Eminent Member     Chippenham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 11

@melodeescarlet thank you Melodde, yes it does feel like a big step but one I really needed to make. Part of me worries that the more I reveal my femme side the greater the chance my big secret will be revealed to friends and family which is the last thing I want. Even joining here has me worried! But I feel I need the support, I think the more I dress the more I want to dress and it's good to have an outlet to share. I'm still a husband and a dad so need to keep a balance.

Reply
Managing Ambassador
(@melodeescarlet)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     DC/Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America
Posts: 1038

@alicewa It's important to mind that balance and walk that line how you want. What you may find here is some support and advice on ways to approach that. 😉

Reply
Posts: 3402
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Alice,

Welcome to CDH and as you can see we are a friendly and supportive bunch of ladies.

Your predicament is much the same as many here but at least you have a supportive wife who is offering to give you some extended time. 

Having that support is immeasurable and if reading your post correctly, she is prepared to want to go somewhere suggests that she is comfortable being with you and that your look is acceptable to her. If that is the case then there are quite a few options.

Chippenham isn't too far from Bristol and a quick search on the web pages should show up groups or places that you could go. Bristol crossroads and was one I found with a quick tap. There are probably many venues that are friendly too and also advertise.

Of course the other option is to have a weekend away in a hotel and visit a local area away from home, which may seem a daunting prospect but in reality, as a lot of testimonies here  will validate, is not as bad as you would think. In general any public space is quite safe and contrary to thought the busier the better. You have Swindon, Bath and National Trust places, if that's of interest like Dyrham Park. 

Chat to your wife and think of a plan that suits you both and am sure that there is plenty of support and advice here to help you on your way.

What ever you choose to do overcome those fears and get out there.

 

 

 

Reply
Posts: 172
Duchess
(@joannat)
Reputable Member     Gwynedd, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 months ago

Hi Alice, and welcome from N Wales! Like you, I have a supportive SO, and we go out together as girlfriends from time to time.

This is a great community to be a part of!

Joanna 💕

Reply
Posts: 2041
Duchess
(@rozalyne)
Famed Member     Shrewsbury, Shropshire, United Kingdom
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Alice welcome to CDH it's nice to, meet you, 

I'm a mature crossdresser I've been dressing most of my life since I was about 8 or 9 years old when I tried my older sisters lingerie on, 

I'm a UK girl too I'm in Shropshire, I'm sure there are lots of girls near to where you live who will be happy to meet up with you for a coffee and a chat, there are lots of places and events around where you can meet like minded friends, there is a big meeting at the beginning of August in Leeds if you are able to attend, 

Love Roz ❤️ 

Reply
Posts: 439
Lady
(@stephanieann)
Honorable Member     Northern California, California, United States of America
Joined: 2 months ago

🍒🍒Hi Alice

  Welcome  home to CDH ..

   Glad to see you hear ..

    Huggs 

   Stephanie👠

 

Reply
Posts: 7787
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Alice,

Welcome to CDH.  It’s nice to meet you.  Fabulous name by the way.

Alice

Reply
Posts: 6019
Hostess
(@fishingr8)
Illustrious Member     Montana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Alice so nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here please don't hold this against me but I'm not from the UK I'm across the pond from you  Just a row boat ride across to Montana USA ha ha .. So girl there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here to learn from so do some looking around and reading of the forums and posts from so many ladies here telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they are on in life.. So as a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. As you get comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Alice as she travels down her own girly path in life.. Now as for making friends here girl there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you .. Like when you feel up to it please return to your profile page and fill in some more please as this is how we get to know you better thanks.. Once again girlfriend so nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..

Stephanie Bass

Reply
Posts: 151
Lady
(@jml)
Reputable Member     Near Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

Hi Alice,

Welcome to CDH.

Joan

Reply
Posts: 675
Duchess
(@catherine0918)
Prominent Member     Henderson, Nevada, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Alice,

Welcome to CDH!

I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.

Again, welcome to CDH!

Catherine

Reply
Posts: 136
(@ajthairms)
Reputable Member     Poole, Dorset, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Hi Alice, welcome to CDH 🙂

Alicen

Reply

©[current-year] Crossdresser Heaven | Privacy Terms of Use | Link to usContact Vanessa | Advertise with Crossdresser Heaven

 
[kleo_social_icons]
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!