New and scared

Hi Bekki!! You will find as I did this is a great place to make connection with other ladies That are in the same situation or have been there! I myself have been a closet dresser since I was 13! Now I am 71!! My wife passed away about a year ago and now I am building my wardrobe and still afraid I might be caught. I will be happy to answer any questions you may have and would be honored to be your friend! You can send me a private message and I will get back to you!

Love Tami♥♥♥

Hello Bekki.

Many of us can identify with your situation almost to 100%.

You can be sure that we will welcome you with open arms and an open mind.

Having said that, I have to say that when wives find out about their husband’s dressing, there are two huge issues for them:

the obvious, the dressing itself. Depending in their education, culture, age, religion, if you have kids, etc. They may be more or less tolerant, accepting or even supporting of the cd partner.

The second is the one that in my opinion and after talking to many significant others of a crossdresser, may be harder to overcome for them. The deception, the fact you had a secret like that and you didn’t trust her with it. And I want you to please consider... the longer you wait to bring the subject up, chances are that there will be more things that you would have been hidding. (Been there...)

now, this unrequested piece of advice is worth what you paid for it ok? I wish you the best, and if I (we) can help, we will.

Gaby

Hello Bekki,

I don't think there is anyone of our sisterhood that doesn't understand and sympathise with your agony. You have entered an oasis of understanding and support. Add the ladies you would like to befriend, and ask us whatever is on your mind.

Welcome honey, Catarina

Welcome Bekki!

Thanks Michelle!

Hello Bekki,

I can remember the nerves upon first signing up.  After all those years of secrecy and hiding myself away,  it is good to share, so you have made a great start in reaching out here.  Read, ask questions, make friends, and hopefully you'll get answers and feel more confident in being this part of yourself.

Take care,

Jasmine

Hi Bekki and welcome to CDH! Your story is so familiar to so many of us.  Please know you are not alone in your feelings and please read other members stories and feel free to reach out via message or chat to me or others. I am happy to share my own experience with you, especially how I told my wife and the support she has given since. Hugs, Michelle

Hi Bekki, I am in exactly the same boat. You are not alone!

Rachel.

Bekki ,  it's  certainly is  nerve racking  as many of us here now quite know . Being closeted and alone can be hard on anyone but here you have many to talk with, to share stories with and make friends with. Hopefully in time you will open up to your wife only you will know when that time will happen but she should know lost of trust is a big deal  in any relationship. Get comfortable with us and learn more about you and soon a clearer picture will show why you are who you are.    The best to as you move forward .

Stephanie 🌹

Welcome, Miss Bekki.  You’ll never have to be scared here.  Opening up to our sisters here has been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done.  Whatever you are comfortable sharing, we’re happy to listen.  Add me if you’d like.

Hello,

Let's start by saying, please don't ask for forgiveness.  You have done nothing wrong.  You have felt nothing that you should be ashamed of, or have any regret over.

What has occurred is, you've come to a realization that there is another part of you.  That other part (in all of us), is what has been suppressed.  Suppressed by society and it's "norms", and what we are all taught what a being a "man" is.

I would say, don't come out to your wife until you have come to terms with yourself.  Accept yourself, don't try to suppress your feelings or desires, because it all feels too wonderful.  You probably have or will, go through periods where you don't even think about this, but then there is a trigger of some sort, that brings out the desires and passions to dress, or otherwise do things that make you feel fabulous.  That is okay, that is normal, and these are things everyone on CDH (I dare say) have felt.

Be careful, be cautious and do consider your wife's feelings.  It is the right thing to do, but not at the expense of your on well being.  You being and feeling good, will make her feel good too.

She may accept it, and be prepared if she does not.  That is okay for her not to.  My wife does not, so I've found ways to workaround things.  She notices I'm sure and will say things I know, but I believe she also knows this is something that does not go away.  It is a party of me, like it is a part of you.

I feel a poem coming on.

🙂

Let loose and be free!

Hi, You are as welcome as you can be.
You are in the right place. We are all here to be helpful and most of us have been in the same place you are in now. Stay with us and make friends.
Love,
Vicke E.

Hi. Welcome to a friendly place. I too was scared, as most of us were. I looked at this site repeatadly for almost a year before i joined and posted anything. Take it step by step. Enjoy the times you can for now until you get more courage.

Hi Bekki,
Welcome to CDH...as others before me .. You have come to the right place for support and understanding.... I have been crossdressing for 20 years ... When I retired 10 years ago (wife Kathy was still working at the time) I embraced my need to express my feminine self with a vengeance... I ordered clothes, lingerie, etc. and have the opportunity to accept packages without worry... I dressed when the opportunity presents itself. Kathy was out and came home early... Leonara was dressed to the "nines" head to red polished toenails. I was like a "deer caught in the lights" I decided to change before I sat down to explaine my "needs". In our discussion she confessed that she saw previously lipstick on a coffee cup and thought I was having an affair... OMG. However Kathy is still trying to understand my "Choices" rather than my
needs... After 47 years of marriage we have a compromise "don't ask don't tell" and she plans outings with her friends to give me the opportunity express my alter ego...
I just thought my experience my be worth sharing.
Bekki, you may be the best judge for the moment to tell your wife about your alter ego. If I can be of help please personal message (PM) at anytime...Leonara