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Hi there, My name is Jillian and once settled would love to get involved or at least listen.
I am 59 year old guy who always Dressed for as long as I can remember. Been through it all from Purging to being caught.
I would not choose to have this affliction but glad I have it as well as all have something don’t we?
The excitement of planning and then dressing almost takes my breath away sometimes.
Some people drive fast cars and climb mountains et al for thier kicks.
I am a manly guy and like to ride fast motorcycles but nothing comes close to the thrill I get when I am fully dressed, the relaxation I have when all sorted is like having my soul cleansed. I don’t like to say that I am in the closet as I consider this “Hobby ” or whatever you like to call it private and as I get older accept, that this is part of me and cannot ( and don’t want to ) stop it. It would be of no surprise that I have tried of course in younger years.
As alluded to, as I get older I realise that life is short and there are bigger things to worry about.
My So is accepting in her way but I would not even show her my new false nails that I was road testing today.
I did tell her though as part of my new years resolution, I am NOT going to be ashamed or feel like a second class person because I like to dress up sometimes. I said to her ” all I want to do is look elegant and nice – and you like that as well, so what’s the difference?”
My day was made when she said she understood.
I also said I will no longer say “that I need some time for myself” from now on I will just say ” I am going to visit Jillian”.
The day got better though when I showed her a self picture of myself dressed and she asked “whos’ that?”
Happy new year xx
@justjillian Welcome to CDH, Jillian!
I am glad that taking new steps has gone as well as can be expected. Some wives understand that, in the end, we are just dressing and that there is no real threat from us doing this. Be sure to thank her in your own way.
I came straight out and told my wife what I was doing and would like to do more. I would never be able to hide it, so I put it in the open. She doesn't fully understand stand it all ("you're weird"), but it could have been worse.
@harriette Thanks for the kind message - yes it could have been worse !
But as I once heard - "Poor is the man for his own enjoyment, relies on the permission of others"
I must admit though, its never easy to talk about it but getting better as I get older.
Jillian xx
@justjillian Hi Jillian
Nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here .. You know as a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Girl with so much to see and do here from reading the forums and posts from so many ladies here telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they travel on.. When you get comfortable with us please join in with a story or two about the life and times of Jillian as she travels down her own girly path in life.. Now girlfriend as for making friends here there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all we are just a simple click away from you .. Once again girlfriend nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..
Stephanie Bass
@river Spot on , I would have been there spannering with you and all of the other man stuff.
Yes agree totally regarding of how a lady has to adapt. An example is that I set up to dress and all day to do it - love those days! Having planned not to shave for a few days therefore getting a proper smooth shave.I had invested and was very excited about my new false nails, so glued them on first to get them out of the way ( best with, I know now with a brush glue and Acetone to hand to shift it off your nails - Now they tell me)
So admiring my very slender nailed hands and set out to have a shave. Well that was a mistake, I had lost all of my functions because of the nails, could not rub in the foam and nearly poked my eye out LOL!
As for getting them off- well like I say, get some acetone first - don't just stick them on and work it out afterwards ( like a guy would do - because we like sorting things) It took hours and my nails were messed up and rough with the glue - so went back into man mode and got the Dremel out and smoothed my nails. Not the best unless you want really thin nails.
Along with full body hair removal ( c'ept arms - one day maybe ) I wonder how ladies have the time. My SO often complains that her heels are killing her, I used to bite my tongue but recently said " You don't know how lucky you are"
Thanks for taking time to read my post
Jillian xxx
@justjillian I spent most of the day today with the guys biting off the excess glue on my nails from last night.. love the dremel idea or the grinding wheel in the shop.. and ya you got to be careful. lmao..RC
Hi Jillian,
Welcome to CDH it's nice to meet you we are like one big happy family on here so don't be shy come on in and join the family,
I'm a mature crossdresser I've been dressing most of my life since i was about 8 or 9 years old when i tried my older sister's lingerie on, I'm still in the closet to my wife and family, I'm not sure about coming out to my wife as she says she doesn't understand why some men want to dress up like women,
I'm a UK girl too I'm down in Shropshire, I'm sure there are lots of girls near to where you live who will be happy to meet up with you for a coffee and a chat I'm sure you will find lots of friends on here so if you have any questions just ask and the girls will get back to you, there are lots of girls on here from beginner's to full time girls who dress 👗 24/7 we don't judge anyone on here it's a safe place for everyone X
Hugs Rozalyn X 🤗
@rozalyne - Thank you Lovely, Shropshire is one of my favourite routes ( A49) to go to Wales on My Motorcycle - A lovely part of the world.
Really appreciate your reply
Jillian xx
@justjillian your welcome Jillian,
So where abouts in Lancashire are you from, I'm originally from Manchester, then i moved to Shrewsbury in 2000 so I'm still an outsider here, it is a beautiful place lots of countryside X
Hugs 🤗 X
@rozalyne I am originally from Wales ( hence the surname) I live in the Preston area and although lived here since 1981, still have welsh accent so therefore an outsider xxx
Well your new year has got off to a great start Jillian. what a good partner you have too.
Yes Angela, glad I had the chat, I always feel awkward, but never run away from what needs to be done.
I love her very much and she is my best friend and we laugh a lot - you make your own luck.
One of the positives is that we were out shopping for false nails and white eyeliner during which time she saw an illuminated magnification mirror and she said - "I have always wanted one of them". To which I said , "I will buy it and if you don't mind me using it on occasion" - it's a win win and I don't have to hide away such a posh mirror eh!"
She liked that and now owns a fab mirror - that is okay for me to "borrow back" 
Thanks you for making me feel welcome, so glad I have come to this site.
Jillian xx
Hi Jillian, and welcome to our community. You will love this site, all the girls here are so supportive and have such wonderful advice to give. This is a safe place to meet friends. Take a look at some of the profile pages to learn at little bit more about the girls here. It is so nice to meet you Jillian and I hope you have a wonderful year ahead.
Hugs Julie
@jdays Thanks Julie - love it already and great to meet people who are not after one thing.
I already feel energised after all I have read so far
love Jillian xx
Love to chat with you.
Julie
@jdays Sure thing back at you. Soon as I figure out and get used to the site
Jillian x
Hi Jillian, welcome to CDH.
Nice to greet another UK girl. I'm just across the Pennines from you, in Tyne & Wear.
Thank you for that wonderful intro post. It's great that your SO is accepting of your need to crossdress. You'll find plenty of support and advice here, so make yourself at home!
Take care.
Thank you lovely, yes she accepts to degree but still is uneasy ( I can tell ) I have been at her side for 10 years and she believed that it was not an issue again, in her mind it’s a kink. In mine it’s a part of me that I have to accept as a very big part of my persona.
As they say - you can’t have it all, to which I always add Where would you put it?
I am so surprised as to how much this has helped,never trusted counselling ( how would they know unless they dress as well?) besides there is nothing wrong in it.
I must say that throughout my life, I have always felt inferior. Over the last few months having concentrated on the issue have come to conclusion that’s it’s quite creative,imaginative and brave to overcome the oppression of society and do what you have to do.
This site has proved this mindset and I am far more confident with shopping etc. Not really interested in going out dressed but have considered many times a refuge where I do not have to watch the clock - it takes time to dress as you know.
Anyway sorry for the long reply but I have a lot of steam to expell
love and thanks again
Jillian xx
Hi Jillian,
Welcome to CDH.
Alice
Hi Jillian,
Welcome to CDH. I’m new too.
Joan
Hello Jillian and welcome 🙂
You'll find this site a cool place to hang out and share CD experiences.
Like you, I'm a 'mature' (58 on the outside, 20-something on the inside! lol) English crossdresser. I also 'had the chat' when in 2021 I couldn't go on keeping this part of myself secret any longer, and I was also amazed that rather than being rejected, my 'hobby' was embraced and has been totally encouraged by my SO. As you say, life is too short! 🙂
@caroline2k - yes Caroline, I am still too young for my years but I have the saying "Too old to grow up" and still ride a Skateboard. I love it when I go to the park and the kids point me over to the learner ramps and then their faces when, realise that it's very evident that I have been skating since 1977 !
I guess the metaphor is - things are not always how they look !
You are very lucky and it was a good thing anyway to tell your SO. So glad that it was embraced. I wish for the same and although she is not 100 per cent, I have waited all of my life to accept it myself. So these things take time. As alluded to in previous posts , I have now embraced dressing for its wonder and now consider it a gift as it allows me to channel various stresses via my Jillian self.
Clothes not maketh the man ............
Take care and thanks for the welcome
Jillian xxx
Jillian -
Welcome to CDH
XOXO
Suzanne
Hi Jillian,
Welcome to CDH!
I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.
Again, welcome to CDH!
Catherine
