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Hi all,
I joined this site a few months ago but have finally become an active member. I have appreciated so much the warm welcome from all of you and a truly safe place to express myself. My journey started 25 plus years ago when I started wearing women's clothing as a younger boy. I just liked the way things felt and it seemed to complement my softer personality. Over the last 25 years I've gone through spells of purging and buying clothes like most, and just in the last three months my wife and I have really talked about why I enjoy crossdressing and why I see it as a part of who I am. We've gone through some struggles in the past few months. As soon as I knew she was accepting, I pushed pretty hard and bought a lot of stuff and that caused some issues. Once I started to see things from her lens though and realized that she was going to be supportive and love me no matter what, we have started to find a balance. No one knows but her. Our kids don't know and someday I hope others will know and accept me for who I am, but until that day, I appreciate so much the support from this site and the individual journeys that I get to read of all of you. I'm always looking to getting to know you all better as friends on this site and on facebook if anyone is on there as well. Please feel free to reach out to me! www.facebook.com/eva.caruso.399
Eva,
Sounds like you are very fortunate; as difficult as it was you and your spouse sound like you are openly communicating and trying to find common ground. That must be a weight off your shoulders. Very nice to meet you.
Kim
Kim, I definitely am fortunate and am realizing that very quickly through others stories on this site. The more freedom I have found inside my marriage I have quickly realized that there is much less freedom out in society (or at least I feel that as I attempt to venture further out). Nice to meet you Kim,
Eva
Welcome to CDH, Eva. It's nice to meet you. I'm also one of the lucky ones with a supportive spouse. I'm also "out" to my kids, which caused me so much angst leading up to it but ended up being uneventful to them. That has been a huge boon for me, because now I can dress as I like around the house rather than squeezing in an hour here and there when they're out or in bed.
Rose, my wife and I have talked back and forth about the kids. They are pretty young still and I don't want to influence them too much one way or the other. More importantly I don't trust any of them to keep a secret. I do wear skirts around the house as well as heels around them at home and have my toes painted, so I don't know, they probably wouldn't even notice it. Around what ages were your kids when you told them? And how did you do it?
My kids are teens. My daughter was 15, my son 14. I asked them if they knew the term gender-fluid, and both said yes. Then I said I was, and that I was going to be exploring, and if anything I ever did - wearing a skirt, putting on makeup, etc - ever bothered them, that I wanted them to tell me. Both just sort of shrugged, and haven't really cared at all. Well, not quite. My daughter once told me she thought my hair was pretty. <3 I did ask both to keep it a secret and not tell their friends. No idea, of course, if they've honored that request.
If you already dress in front of them, I'm sure they've noticed. Kids see and hear a lot more than we think. On the other hand, you and your wife haven't made a big deal about it, so it's just "normal" for them. That's a good thing. When you feel they're old enough, start talking to them about it. They'll notice that their Daddy wears skirts but other daddies don't. They'll be curious as to why. Of course, only you and your wife can decide when the time is right for them. Sounds like you both have good communication skills with each other, so keep that up. Just be prepared for questions. That'll be a sure sign it's time to talk to them, at least a little bit.
Good luck, and again, welcome to the site!
Hi Eva and welcome to CDH.
Rachel
Eva I still have the challenge of sharing this secret with my wife, but I am gaining confidence that I'll be able to make it work.
Glad to hear it is for you!
Hannah
Hannah, it was a huge leap, but well worth it to lift the burden and share in this with my spouse. Best of luck as you move forward!
Eva
