Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
My name is Jessica and I found out about 3 months ago that my bf of 2.5 years is a cross dresser. I am a very open-minded and a supportive person. I found out on accident when I found his bag of “goodies” in his closet. We have lived together for a year now, and I’m hoping this relationship works because I have never loved anyone as much as him. Although I am very supportive, I feel like I’m failing somewhere along the way. When I first found out he was a CD I then discovered that he had been on Craigslist talking to other men and CDs. I confronted him and he said it was just for the excitement of talking to someone. Then I found him on there again. All this happened in December. And then at the beginning of the month (before they shut down the personals on CL) I found that he had still been emailing other men. This was the third time and I told him if it happens again then I will have to leave because it’s not fair to me. He told me he would never do it again and hates to see me hurt. But he has also said this the two times before I found out the third time. I’ve been supportive and encouraging in his crossdressing. I have went to the store with him and picked out multiple outfits and other things, I share my clothes with him, I do his makeup, and I have even gone as far as buying a strap on and pleasing him those ways. Which surprisingly enough is very exciting. We have a great relationship, well most of the time. But lately he thinks that I’m not into it or that I don’t want to see him like that. Which is not the case, but I do have to admit that our sex life has decreased when he’s not dressed up either. I know he dresses up a lot more when I’m at work or doing other things, he doesn’t tell me but I know because my bras and underwear are not where they were before. I just need some kind of help to make sure I’m doing the right things. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve done so much research and now I’ve come to the conclusion I need to talk to people who understand and can help me. Sorry about the long post but it feels good to get this all out.
Jessica first of all welcome. I normally would mention all that we have to offer but dear may I suggest looking into one important place we do have here and it's a group we have dedicated just for you specifically . On Home page, scroll down to "so much to do" then down to " discuss crossdresseing in the forums " then scroll to "wives and significant others only" there you can join a group just for you true ladies and significant others to talk to each other ,and only you girls. Cd''s are not allowed!!!!!. It does take a little time to enroll as they screen members who truly belong there. One of the ambassadors there is Jen. H a wife of a xdresser and will help you in every way. Please don't feel alone, theres help and support and we care. What your going through is most dramatic and as I cannot feel your pain I have some understanding as I put my wife through a period of confusion and hurt. Although I was very closeted and not active online I did cause her much pain. So this I hope you consider this and I truly hope the best for you. Your bf should relized how important you are to him as I know this of mind. I too am an ambassador here and if you need anything or a question please be free to PM , love to help . Hugs!!! Stephanie 🌹
Thank you, it means a lot. I requested to join the group but it hasn’t been accepted yet so I’m just waiting.
Jessica I hope you are ready for a rough haul? CD’s can be pretty difficult and make a teenage girl look rock solid stable. Some of it comes from having to be deceptive and hide our true selves. Some of it is we seem to be a little self centered and always make time for ourselves. The other factor is some CD’s have only heterosexual interests and some are bi and some are purely homosexual. If your man/girl is having issues with what he is he could drag you through his journey of self discovery. The only reason I bring this up is the repeated returns to CL to “chat” with men. My poor wifey of 20 years has lived through hell with me and I do love her and want to be with her! I wish you the best and suggest some SERIOUS discussions to assure you both of what is realistic and desired as an end result. If there is anything I could address specifically for you in a private format please feel free to message me.
🍷C
Hi Jessica,
My hope for both of you is that his contact with other CDs is strictly for support and understanding as is the reason I and the vast majority of the others here have joined this site. Being a closeted crossdresser can be a lonely existence and finding others that share this need is not only comforting but exciting as well. I would encourage you to get him to join us here, assuming he hasn’t already done so. He will hopefully find the support and friendship he needs and the two of you can each gain further understanding and acceptance of what makes him who he is.
Take care and good luck to you both.
Hugs,
Tricia
Jessica, I think Carolyne and Stephanie have covered it really well. But we are here to help if we can. It will be a tough rode but both of you have to be honest with each other and keep open communications. I'm sure there are some ladies in the Wives and significant others that can direct you to some places to help for maybe counseling or outside help as well as to better understand their side of what we all are going through. I am also an ambassador here if you need any help or need a question answered please fill free to PM me.
Sara
