Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven, a safe and welcoming place for everyone in the crossdresser community.
Join Crossdresser Heaven today to participate in the forums.
I am Sherri Marie Rose Valentine,
I experimented with cross dressing from a young age, 10. My experimentation stopped when I began thinking of what I liked, and how to wear it better.
But there has always been that voice, feeling, what-have-you that keeps the debate going, "Should I? What if the wrong people find out? If I die and someone finds my "stash" I do not want shame on those close to me. What do I do?"
I know what I like with my clothes, and other things, of course. I can not pass, but I enjoy the feeling of wearing the clothes. I do not know if part of the feeling comes from what is perceived by standard folk ways and mores as doing so is taboo. I get great relaxation from wearing the clothes. Yes, their is sexy lingerie but, it is covered by, what I think are, tasteful clothing. I love high heels, thigh high boots, mostly reds, pinks, whites, other colors as the clothes and situation seems right.
I am seeking people to talk to, comparative analysis, to help me figure where it all may have come from and how to deal with it going forward.
Signed
Sherri Marie Rose
@sherrimarierosevalentine hi gurl as we like to say; my therapy sessions have revealed that my cd ing started from detachment issues with my mother. I lived away from her from ages 1-6. Coupled with missing my fathers love ( parents split at age 1; not thinking i was good enough as a boy so wear girls clothes). Then add in once i did live with mom then at 8 she had a girl who got all of the attention and everyone said how pretty she was. So wearing my mom’s clothes psychologically made me feel closer to her. And being feminine distracted me from feeling as if I failed my father!
@stefaniemaybe Hi, Stef, well, your analysis could certainly ring true for me. My father left my mum and me when I was a baby so we lived with my grandparents. Mum worked to support us and I never, for a moment, felt like I was anything but loved by her. This was in the fifties, into early sixties and I think I was the only one in class in what is now known as a one parent family. My grandfather was a great guy but he had his work (coal miner, see my other comment about the cultural zeitgeist of the time!) and his garden so I spent a lot of time in the company of women. I have thought about this before and can see that it might well have influenced me but I also like another post that said, we're just wired this way!
Like you, though, I have come to realise that I may well have suffered from a lack of confidence all my life (until now, thanks to Allie) because I've felt not good enough.
Anyway, thanks again for your insight x
Welcome to Sherri Marie!
I'm we've all traveled many different paths to CDH. But you will find a very supportive, friendly and informative community here.
Denise
❤️
You're in a good place to ask these questions. There's a lot of lived experiences in these rooms.
Personally, I love that most people accept me for who I am. I could care less if someone has a problem. I've been this way since birth. Wired this way. Girl brain. Nothing to fix. It isn't going away. It is what it is....
That's been my experience....
/EA
@emilyalt @margprodue
I also have a girl brain that absolutely doesn't need fixing.
I consider it to be a superpower.
Ellie x
@ellyd22 Hey Ellie, does the superpower come with a body-hugging uber-feminine high-heeled hero outfit?
@christineth No ... I keep my superpowers hidden. Things work out a lot better when your enemies underestimate you. That way, they have no idea what's coming 🙂
Ellie x
@ellyd22 I don’t believe you have any enemies…but being mysterious can indeed be endearing 😊
You're right, I don't have any enemies.
I HAD enemies, but... well ... let's just say that this is no longer the case and not ask too many questions.
They never suspect a thing.
There's a stirring in the shadows, a brief flicker of movement and the job is done.
Apart from a lingering trace of Mitsouko on the night breeze, there's nothing to indicate that I was ever there.
@ellyd22 I've considered a name tag that says "Warning to unauthorized users...Absolutely do not attempt to modify or adjust". However, my real name tag actually says "Marg Produe, Born This Way". Special Hugs to you and Emily. Marg
You've made me start to think about creating my own name tags, and wondering what the wording should be.
As of this afternoon, courtesy of a very special friend, I already have one that says 'Melodee made me do it.'
Hugs
Ellie x
@emilyalt I can think of lots of name tags on which the wording would be NSFCDH, but now I'm wondering which specific one YOU have in mind ...
Well I can too. I won't keep it a secret.
Everyone else will have to use their imagination.....
a name tag that says "Warning to unauthorized users...Absolutely do not attempt to modify or adjust or [fill in the blank] will happen"
Any takers?
Hi Sherri Marie, welcome to CDH.
Thank you for that intro. Your experiences, thoughts and feelings are shared by many of us. The question of why we do what we do is, as I'm sure you're aware, a vastly complex one. There is no single right answer; each of us finds our path in different ways, though of course there are similarities.
You've certainly come to the right place to talk about it all. There's an enormous well of experience to be tapped into here. Feel free to ask questions any time, and make yourself at home.
Hi Sherri and welcome.
That is quite an often asked question here, and has already been said, there’s no right or wrong answer.
What seems quite clear though is that whatever the reason we each choose to do it, there’s little or no getting away from it.
You’ll read stories of people purging things and trying to move on, but it’s a part of us and very often returns. It takes people different lengths of time to accept that.
You’re certainly in the best possible place to find the answers that you’re looking for.
Oh, and we’re very friendly here, so feel free to ask anything and to join in with chats
Lucy
@sherrimarierosevalentine welcome. This is a very supportive site and I’m sure you’ll find what you need here. I’d be happy to message with you.
tootles
Jeri
@sherrimarierosevalentine What if I die and someone finds my stash. those exact words constantly invade my peace. and my wife knows . but I still want to leave a note on my stash especially when we travel. something to the order of to whomever finds this. please dont try to open it and just deposit it in the nearest receptacle and forget about it. Thank you and god bless . RC
Welcome! I look forward to our conversations!
Hi Sherri Marie,
Welcome to CDH.
It seems over the decades since I started cross dressing there is more acceptance. And many are so absorbed in their own thoughts they pay little attention to others around them.
Alice
Hi Sherri nice meeting you and so happy you found and joined us girls here so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here .. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Ok girl with so much knowledge here to to learn from just ask many ladies here and you will receive many times over .. No worries here girlfriend as we all love to chat and make friends so dont be shy jump on in the waters fine and full of knowledge here to wet your little whistle with he he ..
Stephanie Bass
Hi Sherri and welcome. Tere are always more questions than answers. The fact you feel it is right for you outweighs what others think as it is for you and not them. Enjoy your time here in a wonderful community.
Sherri -
Welcome to CDH
XOXO
Suzanne
Hi Sherri.
Welcome to CDH.
It’s a friendly, understanding and supportive place. You will find useful information and tips. I have shared some of your fears. Some have vanished; others remain. This site has helped me a lot to see myself as I am and feel better about myself. Nobody promised me that my life would be easy; but I have found out that it is not as complicated as it sometimes seems to me. One always manages to get ahead and survive. I can say that I am happy with my life.
Gisela
Hi Sherri!
Welcome to CDH!
I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.
As a total private dresser, no one knows I share with you this exact same fear, " If I die and someone finds my "stash" I do not want shame on those close to me."
So, like another said, many of us share the same feelings, etc. that you do.
Again, welcome to CDH!
Catherine
