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Hi my name is Jojo. I am a 42 year old woman who is going through a divorce. Last year I met a great man who welcomed me and my 3 young children into his home. I fell in love with him over the past year and thought I knew everything about him.
He also wore women’s underwear and I just accepted it as something he did to feel good. A few weeks ago, he started wearing women’s clothes and then last week he started wearing fake breasts. I am trying to be supportive but I am so overwhelmed and I feel so alone. I don’t have anyone I can talk to.
We have decided because of the divorce and the young ages of my children to keep his cross dressing private for now.
JoJo - You will find answers, support and comfort here. I can tell you that his urge to crossdress is likely deep-seated and is not intended as a threat to your relationship. If you love him and the feeling is mutual, please try to find a way to live with his dressing, as it is not likely to go away.
Hugs,
Lori Stark
Hi Jojo, at lot of us here know by experience how difficult it is sometimes to find a way of living with a cross dressing man - I being one myself. I am pretty convinced your partner is in no way wanting to hurt you. He probably struggles with a deep rooted longing for something we CDers don't know where it comes from. So, my humble advice: if you can cope with his habits, and he doesn't harm you in any way, try to give it some kind of a place in your shared lives. Talk to him, and PLEASE don't blame him for something he didn't choose in the first place.
Hug, Catarina
Hi Jojo.......welcome to CDH. Fist of all.........you are not alone here......all our membership are sisters to each other. We care deeply about each other. Your situation is not unique.........several of use have/are going thru what you are experiencing. Genetic women go thru the same thing but it is not looked upon as unusual. The stereo-typical female also likes to do tom-boy activities and wear pants/shirts like males do. The males, dress like females.....oh what an outcry there is. This act has been common all down thru history so it is not something new. I have years of research behind me, and if you like....I will try to explain to you the possibles why's men /females do this. It is not a perversion, although in some cases it can be. There is a strong evidence that this phenomina is genetic. Also.....male/female garments are just the same cloth....it it just the presentation that is different. Fashion down thru the ages shows this. Look at Louis 14 of France or Henry the 8th. Their garb is very feminine looking. The number of males dressing female is rapidly increasing world wide.....why....no-one knows....it just is. This topic can be quite involved so, I offer to speak with you on our private message area or I can send you my e-mail address, for added security. Do contact me, as I have really just explained the beginning of the topic to you. Again....don't be too overly concerned about this new activity. It may be short term or maybe he will go farther but that is an unknown at this point. Keep the dialogue open and talk to him about your concerns....he will be most likely quite embarrassed but don't push it, for now. I look forward to assisting you with your concerns.....till then........hugs!
Dame Veronica
Hi JoJo,
You have come to a good place for resources and support. You’re SO is fortunate to have someone who is willing to seek out and attempt to gain understanding. My only advice is not to look at him any differently than you did before. He is still the same man that you fell in love with. The fact that he chose to share this with you is most likely because he felt comfortable in doing it and/or wanted to make sure that you would be able to accept him upon revealing this important part of who he is. This side of him is actually part of the reason that makes him who he is and that person you love.
I admire you for your reaching out here. You may want to look for groups here of supportive SOs. I know they have them here and I am certain that there are some others that could help you from the perspective of being in a similar situation. I can tell you that being here has helped me by being able to get to know others that are in a similar situation as I am. I do wish that I had the courage to have told my wife that I was a cross dresser early in our relationship and I truly hope you can see how much he trusts you by revealing that. Believe me, he has undoubtedly had many feelings of being overwhelmed and alone himself. I know this from my own experience!
Good luck to you both. I hope that you can find a balance that works for the two of you.
Hugs,
Tricia
Hello and welcome JoJo,
Welcome to the most accepting and informative Crossdressing website. There is a wealth of knowledge here and the most friendly ladies. I for one am a crossdresser myself. More properly I am a Transgender female which means that I was born male but know in my soul I should have been born a female. Anyway please do not be angry with him. Your first inclination about panties is absolutely correct, it does make him feel good, with one addition. His crossdressing makes him feel good about himself to feel pretty or even feel sexy. For almost all crossdressers this is not a choice but a need to express our femininity in an outward manner. He is giving you his heart and soul by bringing you into his deepest most secret world. He is still the man you met and have fallen in love with. He may even be waiting for the 101 questions most wives and significant others generally ask when we reveal who we truly are in our heart, mind, and soul. If you have questions this is the most wonderful resource for answers because we have been through what you and he are going through. I so hope to hear more from you in the forums and Dame Veronica is an excellent resource in herself. Be safe and know that we are here for you and for him. Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
Danielle💋👠
Hi Jojo,
Probably good to keep it private, till you work things out. When he dresses does he change, or is he still the "man" you fell in love with? My guess is he is, as I know I am for my (un-accepting) SO. But I know she doesn't get it, or understand it, nor do I believe she wants to, which is a barrier.
It is really black and white, you either accept it or you don't. If you have any doubts, then again, you don't accept it. That I think is an important realization you have to come to terms with. He will not stop this behavior, he can't. None of us really ever get away from it. Not that we want to.
Good luck to you both!
R
Hi Jojo
Welcome to CDH! I am so glad you stepped out and found us. This is a great place to make friends, find information and get support.
I am a genetic girl and can understand this can be a little overwhelming at times. Feel free to message me anytime if you would like to talk.
Hugs
Kayla
Hi Jo Jo like Kayla genetic girl .im here if you need to talk. Hugs
I am new also. Hello all