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Supportive fiance of a Crossdresser

9 Posts
6 Users
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Posts: 4
Baroness
Topic starter
(@freebird)
Active Member     Perth, Peryh, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Hi

I am new here and just found out my fiance is into CD.

I am being very supportive of it but I havehave found out he has taken things a bit further.

Not sure how to deal with it. I would love to talk with people for advice or help.

 

I have no problem in  the CD and even participate but what he has done in the meantime behind my back has really upset and hurt me and left me confused.

 

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8 Replies
Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Gypsy,

It may be difficult, but if you can, try to see past your fiance's secretiveness.  I won't try to justify him keeping things from you, but being a crossdresser usually brings with it a lot shame and guilt, so we have a very hard time fully disclosing who and what we are.  In fact, in my case, when I came out to my wife as a crossdresser, that's who I thought I was.  Later though, as my feelings matured, I realized I was something more than that.  The fact that he opened up to you at all is a great first step, and you should simply do your best to keep the lines of communications open, so it will be easier for him to remain open and honest.  Ultimately, you are entitled to his honesty, but if you can, be patient.

I wish you all the best, and I think you've come to a great place to share your story and your feelings.

Hugs,

Sally

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Posts: 1702
(@dlgeb275)
Noble Member     niagara falls, ny., New York, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

well said Sally   hello Gypsy. nice to meet you and sally said it great.   good luck with you and your fiance with his x dressing. at least he came out to you. its hard for us cross dressers to come out to some one and say GEE i am a x dresser.  my wife found out later in the marriage and is ok with me dressing up but 2 adult kids have to be out for the night or a few hours then wife tells me i can do what i like to do. she will not let me sit in same room and talk about my dressing up,

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Posts: 4
Baroness
Topic starter
(@freebird)
Active Member     Perth, Peryh, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Thank you so much for your replies.

Unfortunately I found out by accident as he was advertising on Craigslist which upset and hurt me deeply.

I felt and still feel I am not enough for him.

I have given up work to take care of his young children as we have them full time even though I have adult children of my own.

What hurts the most is that I have been doing the family thing while he has been out searching for something else.

He says he is deeply sorry for this and as you can understand a great deal of trust has been lost.

I told him I love him and support him no matter what and even enjoy the x dressing as a couple as I know this is not something he can stop and never would ask him to.

I suppose for me it just makes me feel less of a woman now as I know he took it to another place while I trusted him completely.

I am just so hurt and confused not by the x dressing but what he has done while I  have been engaed to me.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Gypsy; you have done well and deserve honesty.  Ask him what he is looking for on CL.  It may not be you, and why in the world would you marry a man who wanted something that might threaten a marriage?  If you were my daughter, I would advise you to ask him just that.

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Posts: 4
Baroness
Topic starter
(@freebird)
Active Member     Perth, Peryh, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Hi Maria

I did ask him and it was to have sex with another CD

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Posts: 169
Managing Ambassador
(@cloughied)
Estimable Member     NOVA, Virginia, United States of America
Joined: 7 years ago

Gypsy,

Thank you for loving him so much and reaching out to us as part of that.  We're here to help both of you as much as we can.  I wonder if you have found the significant others side of CDH.  Its a section that is exclusive to SO's.  There are quite a few other active SO's that I think you might want to talk to in a safe place to open up.  Here is the link  https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/significantothers/   If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to me or any of the moderators and we'll do what we can.  Feel free to send me a private message if you would like any time.

Cloe

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Posts: 24
Lady
(@playitcool64)
Eminent Member     Southend on Sea, Essex, United Kingdom
Joined: 9 years ago

Firstly, welcome to CDH. You have come to the right place. There is a forum for Wives and SO's on the site, where you can share thoughts and experiences with people in a similar position to you. Hope you get the chance to check it out.

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Posts: 5134
Admin
(@cdheaven)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 9 years ago

Not a surprise.  Now you can ponder if you can accept it. If you go ahead and marry him, he would prolly want some type of "open marriage," whatever that may be.

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