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Thanks for the welcome, can you help me introduce CD with my wife?

17 Posts
13 Users
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Posts: 159
Lady
Topic starter
(@jwhite)
Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

My wife and I have been married for nearly 50 years. I’ve been wearing woman’s lingerie, stockings, heels, and makeup occasions for romps with my wife in bed. Now I’d like to try CDing only at home several times a month. Dress, makeup, stockings, and heels only around the house — maybe up to all day. Should I write up what I want to do for my wife or tell her at dinner. I’d appreciate any successful suggestions. 

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16 Replies
5 Replies
Baroness
(@river)
Joined: 1 year ago

Noble Member     New Hampshire, United States of America
Posts: 827

@jwhite I agree with the other girls your very lucky for this starting point I dont think there will be an issue either way. Dinner is always a good option Cheers and Welcome RC

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Hostess
(@fishingr8)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     Montana, United States of America
Posts: 6046

@jwhite Hi Jamie.

Nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. Girl there is a wealth of knowledge here to access and learn from so look around and ask many questions of these wonderful ladies here as they chat about there journeys down the femme road they are on in life.. We all love to chat girlfriend so dont be shy say hello and like othere the letter way is not a good idea face to face chatting is allways a better deal .. Been married 40+ years and wife has known Stephanie all of them and we never quit talking about our girly times together been to Keystone last 2 years for being Stephanie for the week what a blast girlfriend so say hello sometime ..

Stephanie Bass

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Lady
(@harriette)
Joined: 2 years ago

Illustrious Member     Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4018

@jwhite Welcome to CDH, Jamie!

Good communication between a couple is key. The letter doesn't sound like a good idea since it isn't as personal as is talking face-to-face nor does it show confidence.

Having said that taking your time making notes and memorizing them before your talk may help you to make your statements more focused and concise.

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Ambassador
(@alexina)
Joined: 1 year ago

Illustrious Member     Fife, United Kingdom
Posts: 2208

@jwhite Hi, Jamie, it'll be 47 years next month for us. Like you, I wanted to be able to dress up without it necessarily being a prelude to romps. The discussion was planned (by me) but instigated by my wife asking why I'd been in her jewellery box, (I'd been looking for a red chunky necklace to go with a new dress, isn't Vinted amazing!). Anyhoo, I was honest and explained how relaxed it makes me and that I hope she can benefit from happier me. I now dress a couple of times a week and we eat, chat, watch tv or whatever. I also regularly thank her for accepting the girly me. I hope your wife can do the same. 

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Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@alexina Many thanks for sharing. After a little confusion, we're doing great so far only at home. Haven't discussed anything further. Taking it slowly.

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Posts: 875
(@ladymakenzie)
Noble Member     Brighton, Michigan, United States of America
Joined: 9 years ago

Jamie, that is the million dollar question.  Given your previous experience, your starting point is very different from what mine was when I told my wife.  Personally, I would recommend the conversation option as opposed to the written letter option.  That way, you will be present to address her questions and concerns.  For me, it took more than 3 months for me actually to share with my wife after I decided that I needed to tell her.  Thankfully, I was blessed with a wife who was accepting and approving in her own way,

MacKenzie Alexandra

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Posts: 829
Lady
(@dazzler)
Noble Member     Cardiff, South Glamorgan, United Kingdom
Joined: 4 years ago

It sounds like your wife would be OK with you crossdressing at home without it being part of the bedroom routine.  You might say that you really enjoy it and would like to dress up more often. 

If your wife likes you dressed up for "romps" then she'll probably like you dressed up for normal times...

 

Cerys

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Posts: 1497
Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Joined: 1 year ago

Hi Jamie, welcome to CDH.

Following on from what Alexandra said, I'd add that your starting point is very different to that of most of us, whether or not we've confided to our wives!

Your own wife seems to have accepted your crossdressing on a bedroom level. She may not be prepared to let it go any further than that. On the other hand she might, as she already appears she might be receptive to the idea. Either way, all you can do is ask.

I would imagine that most if not all the ladies here will advise the spoken word approach rather than the written. But take it easy, at least at first, as it may come as more of a surprise to her than you might anticipate. Pushing for too much too fast might be counter productive. I hope it goes well for you both!

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Posts: 3446
Hostess
(@ab123)
Illustrious Member     Surrey, United Kingdom
Joined: 5 years ago

There is possibly a distinction between the two being one is fun and the other is for you. Obviously she enjoys the fun but to move forward and dress fully is a different matter as it could cross that line but at least you know there is an element of acceptance.

My thought would be to plan what to say and have the 'talk'. The other option would be to ask her if you could dress more in the fun sessions and see how she reacts. That would give you an idea of further approval. If she approves then gradually build it up.

On the other hand she may have an inkling and Cerys says it all on that.

I hope it goes well for you.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@ab123 thanks for your support. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Posts: 2172
 J J
Lady
(@jjandme)
Famed Member     California, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

There is no best or correct way to do this since we and our spouses are all different. You know her so you are best to judge. I am not that different in I too wore lingerie mostly for fun rooms, but later dressed more and more. We have been married for 39 years this year. I just had a nice conversation with my wife over dinner and a nice bottle of wine. She was fine with it all since it was not too surprising considering all the lingerie I have worn over the years.

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Posts: 7835
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Jamie,

Welcome to CDH.  As others have said you know your wife best and can sense her reaction to your announcement.  Dinner is a fine opportunity to raise the subject.  You may want to set limits she’ll be happy with so your discussion may feel out your wife’s limits.

Alice

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Posts: 305
Duchess
(@2bmadeline)
Reputable Member     Walla Walla, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

My favorite time to talk about such things was at night before going to sleep. Pillow talk.

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1 Reply
Lady
(@jwhite)
Joined: 1 year ago

Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Posts: 159

@2bmadeline after an unpleasant discussion a discussion this morning has put my CD in a little better light.

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Posts: 2111
Hostess
(@cdsue)
Famed Member     Delaware, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Jamie -

Welcome to CDH.

I really don't have anything to add to the advice already given. Hope things og well for you.

XOXO
Suzanne

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Posts: 159
Lady
Topic starter
(@jwhite)
Reputable Member     Fort Collins, Colorado, United States of America
Joined: 1 year ago

I shared with my wife as we finished dinner tonight. She had some suggestions to how we could make it happen and agreed to help me with my clothing. I’m looking forward to have a picture soon I can post in my profile.

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