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I’ve been really contemplating going all the way breasts vagina ffs I’m not getting any younger and I still haven’t changed my mind I feel like I’m in the wrong body
@dawnvic58 Dawn, I have no gender dysphoria and am a happy crossdresser. I can imagine the anguish you are going through with a dilemma like this and I wish you well in your future decisions. If it helps, your profile pic suggests you should be a real woman xx.
@chrisfp99 thank you I appreciate your support and kind words I love being a woman
Dawn,
I'm glad for you that you're seeing a gender therapist and are making careful decisions.
All the best to you my dear!
Fran 🥰
@dawnvic58 Welcome to CDH, Dawn!
While I am glad that you are being helped by a therapist, there is also a transgender sister site, for focused discussions.
@dawnvic58 everyone deserves to be happy! Get your things done of thats needed! Your an awesome human and you deserve it!
Hey Dawn,
I'm 3+ years into transitioning. I started later in life myself.
I think you are wise to have a good gender therapist that can help guide you on your journey. Whether or not you transition, and how you go about that, are questions only you can answer. And yes, you will need to ask yourself some really difficult questions.
In my case, it took years of therapy, self-discovery and soul searching to understand transition was the only way I'd ever be truly happy. I have gender dysphoria. There were times when it was debilitating. It's well-managed now with meds and living authentically. But well-managed isn't the same as remission. I still have some gender dysphoria. My journey is not over.
Transition started a new phase in my journey. It's very likely that I'll have at least two surgeries at some point in the future.
I would recommend that you keep working with your therapist. Learn as much as you possibly can about the many aspects of transition. There is a LOT to know.
This is a decision you want to get right. Buyer's remorse REALLY sucks.
/LK
Liz,
That is certainly what's needed to be said. Many don't understand the whole process or the gravity of the situation.
There's no easy answers or quick fixes.
Finding that happy medium takes time and a willingness to accept the results.
Wishing everyone in this situation all the best and to live there true self's!
Fran 🥰
@dawnvic58 I hear that. If you are sure & have the means to do it then go for it. Given the chance I know I would dive in head first.
hugs to ya first off I can’t really give you any good guidance except you must do what your heart tells ya to do wish I had a better answer for ya but unfortunately your the only one that can decide that just remember tho use lady’s here at CDH have your back and will support your decision regardless TC hugs 🤗 apologies if this is not what you wanted to hear
@erinb thank you I appreciate your advice I know that I will have to make that decision I have been seeing a gender therapist who has been amazing in helping me
@dawnvic58 good to hear just always remember to be true to yourself regardless of what anyone says I got your back girlfriend 🤗
@dawnvic58 Happy to see that you are working with a gender therapist. It is a very complex thing and having an honest broker and ally is a great asset as you move forward. Best of luck sister and I hope you find all the happiness you deserve and more!
Agree with Erin I think you are the only one who can answer that. You are right we are not getting any younger. You will have to reach down and search your soul. At one time I felt that I wanted to go through SRS but decided not to. I'm glad I didn't been married for 32 years have seven grandkids and five great grandchildren. You have to do what is right for you.
Andrialynn xx
@alexislynn Hi, Andrea. As others have said only you can decide what is right for you. I think for myself I would be happiest to sometimes present as fully female sometimes and mostly male sometimes. BUT I fear that many people would feel that is weirder than presenting fully female all the time. And for me I would rather be looked at as Trans than an a crossdresser.
Cassie
Dawn,
The best person to discuss this with is a good, qualified gender therapist. After some important discussions with them, you may better understand yourself and then become more confident in whatever choice you ultimately make. Having that confidence will definitely make your trans life a much more pleasant experience.
@d44 yes my therapist is very good and she is amazing in her knowledge of gender issues and her amazing support I know she will help me through this
Dawn, Welcome to CDH. Good luck in your journey.
Alice
Dawn, life is too short. You should consider what your long term plans are if/ when you transition. I have a good friend of mine, younger, who fully transitioned and she now has a supportive girlfriend and very happy. Not sure how your wife will deal with this but you should expect the worst case scenario and hope for the best case scenario. (I am a firefighter and that’s how I deal with our calls). Anyhow, I have considered this also but only if I was younger. I wish you the best and you are doing the right thing by speaking with a therapist. I meet with my therapist weekly and has been helping me. Keep us updated and feel free to send me a private message any time you need to chat or just share. Hugs, Traci
@traci429 thank you so much for your kind words and yes I will definitely keep you updated as things progress it’s so good to have people around me that are understanding of what I’m going through
I understand your issue dawn but cannot give you your solution.
I too am not getting any younger either as Dysphoria is some thing that for some gets worse as you age, and it's because of age and the times we lived through when younger we didn't have the support and acceptability to do what we want to do now. I would love to have full surgery but it may not happen, am I despondent?
For me the process started with acceptance, finding understanding within myself and a belief that something will come of this. The next phase was coming out and beginning to appear in public, gaining confidence and bringing the 'hidden' woman out, learning the vagaries of womens ways and find my style.
For me I made a decision not to get involved in relationships so can only say it is important to have those close to you go with you if that is something you want. For me that was family and close friends.
About five years ago I finally made the visit to my Doctor and told them how I was, we had a long talk and was referred to the practices Trans G.P. I am in the U.K. and have to join a queue for years to see a specialist clinic to discuss surgery, that could be a few years further on. I have no insurance nor finance.
I am not disheartened as perhaps age will be a decider to whether full surgery is an option. What I did was to keep on evolving, push the boundaries to now live full time, work and make new friends whilst still having old friends and colleagues in touch. I was perhaps born in the wrong body but it's what god gave me so have used all the products that women use to enhance what there is to create my true image.
Transition is a process and not only about the surgery, I have transitioned without surgery and am accepted, living the life I wanted. Surgery would be the icing on the cake but this cake looks and tastes good.
It's being realistic and managing the frustration of dysphoria to make the path easier. You have a supportive partner and a good therapist and wish you well on your journey and we are here to support you.
@ab123 I love what you wrote Angela - I have transitioned without surgery and am accepted, living the life I wanted. Surgery would be the icing on the cake but this cake looks and tastes good.
I too have socially transitioned and am now accepted, living a life I like very much. Surgery may indeed be the icing on the cake but at my age I'm just too old to want to subject myself to all that involves. I've decided this is my niche and I'm pleased with how everything has turned out.
I wish you well on your journey and hope you and your therapist can find the answers you are looking for. Good luck Dawn I wish you all the happiness.
Andrialynn xx
Hi Dawn as you have been here for a bit we re welcome you as i might have welcomed you when you joined us girls like 7 months ago .. As you were then and now a sister and family member please remember we always have your back girlfriend and will support you in all of your girly choices in life .. Its nice to see you have a some what supportive wife and remember here she has a place to ask questions of the other wife's or significant others here through the group if she would be interested in looking into it .. The group is ( For The Wife's and Significant Others) just an idea if she might be interested Good luck girlfriend and keep us up on your progress ..
Stephanie Bass
