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21 Posts
16 Users
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Posts: 2
Lady
Topic starter
(@michellebrown)
Active Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

I have come to accept that I am a woman and I need to stop living life to please everyone else I need to please myself and live who I am and should be 

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20 Replies
15 Replies
Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5177

@michellebrown 

I have come to accept that I am a woman and I need to stop living life to please everyone else I need to please myself and live who I am and should be 

This is a wonderful statement. I applaud it wholeheartedly.

It sums up where I am at the moment, and maybe how I imagine that everyone who's trans (like me 🙂 ) would want, in an ideal world, to be able to live their lives.

And yet ... there are still things that hold me back: people I haven't told because I fear how they'd react; people I haven't told because I KNOW how they'd react; people I haven't told because I worry that the knowledge would hurt them.

Yes, I know it should be about ME and not THEM, but I can't mute my empathy function.

I'm pretty much a Tigger stuffed with empathetic fluff.

If I switched all of that off, I wouldn't be me.

And, layered on top of that, there's the fear of the unknown. What would it actually be like to stop just being Ellie full time at home, and allow myself to be her/me completely, full time, always, everywhere?

Michelle, the statement in your post resonates with me absolutely. But it feels like I'm kitted out in a parachute, about to step out of the aeroplane, and wondering if this is actually a good idea after all 🙁

*Peers out of the doorway as the air rushes past*

It looks like a long way down.

I think I may need to be pushed, and I think I may need to be harnessed to an instructor 🙂

Ellie x

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(@michellebrown)
Joined: 2 years ago

Active Member     Portland, Oregon, United States of America
Posts: 2

@ellyd22 

i totally understand it has taken me many hours of crying and searching to just be in to accept me and hopefully the world will accept me for me 

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Managing Ambassador
(@ellyd22)
Joined: 2 years ago

Majestic Member     Norfolk, United Kingdom
Posts: 5177
Baroness
(@chrisfp99)
Joined: 2 years ago

Famed Member     London , Kent, United Kingdom
Posts: 1709

Ellie I fear I'm more like an Eeyore, at least in drab mode. Maybe a little softer and more receptive when I've got a nice dress on xx.

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3839

@ellyd22

Posted by: @ellyd22

I think I may need to be pushed, and I think I may need to be harnessed to an instructor 🙂

You already know how that's going to go Ellie!

Trans Heart

Hugs, Emily

 

 

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(@heels234)
Joined: 9 years ago

Prominent Member     Mesa, Arizona, United States of America
Posts: 602

@michellebrown Hi A am Michelle Brown from Mesa Az and I am a crossdresser and have no plans to transition.I am just happy to be a part time lady.

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Duchess Annual
(@firefly)
Joined: 7 years ago

Noble Member     Panama, Panama, Panama
Posts: 1112

@michellebrown A courageous decision. Acceptance usually costs, but it is necessary to determine how we will continue our journey. Never forget that you are a wonderful human being and the world needs you. Keep going!

Gisela

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Managing Ambassador
(@lizk)
Joined: 5 years ago

Illustrious Member     North County San Diego, California, United States of America
Posts: 3839

@michellebrown 

Yes.  THIS! You can live your version of your life and be happy.  Or you can live someone else's version of your life and be miserable.  When you strip away everything else this is what you're left with.  You can choose to be happy or allow yourself to be miserable.

/EA

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Duchess
(@loneleycd)
Joined: 5 years ago

Famed Member     Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Posts: 2147

@michellebrown 

Good for you Michelle. I can say I am not quite there yet. I AM at the point of presenting as Cassie full time and trying to become as much as a woman as I can. Maybe in a few months I will see that I am FULLY CASSIE!!!  Then I will move to FULLY TRANSITIONING. 

Cassie 

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Ambassador
(@jacquelinelarkspur)
Joined: 1 year ago

Famed Member     Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, United Kingdom
Posts: 1497

@michellebrown 

Hi Michelle,  welcome to CDH.

You'll find a lot of warmth and acceptance here on this amazing site. It's a safe haven where you can talk freely about who you are and who you want to become. There are quite a few girls here who have been where you are now (you've already heard from some of them), and there are also those (like me) who crossdress with no desire to transition. That's the great thing about CDH; there's such a variety and depth of experiences you can draw on to help you in your journey.

It's not an easy path, to be sure, but you know that you're not alone. 

So, make yourself at home and join in as much as you wish. And have fun!

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 11 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@michellebrown A very warm hello Michelle and welcome to the closest family on the Web.  I can't believe a difference in just a month of reading some of the stories from the inspirational ladies on here. A truly global sisterhood which I'm sure you will embrace,  all the best x

 

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(@finallyfiona)
Joined: 1 year ago

    Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Posts: 1444

@michellebrown Now that's what I call an entrance 🙂  You go, girl!  

Welcome aboard the good ship CDH, all the girls here are lovely, we're a real sisterhood of support and encouragement for each other.  You'll love it here 🙂

I'm not quite where you are in my personal journey yet, it's still more a voyage of discovery for me at the moment to find where my balance lies.  But I feel that a decision of that sort of magnitude may well lie in my future.  When I get there I know I'll be able to talk about it in posts and private messages on here to help me to reach my right mind.

So, here's hoping to get to know you through posts and chat - again, welcome and dive on in!

Hugs,
Fiona xxx

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(@christineth)
Joined: 2 years ago

Noble Member     Brussels, Brabant, Belgium
Posts: 747

@michellebrown Michelle, we are with you all the way, here to support your decisions and help you realise your goals.  Hugs

Christine

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Lady
(@jeried)
Joined: 1 year ago

Estimable Member     SE Missouri, Missouri, United States of America
Posts: 54

@michellebrown that’s how everyone should be able to live.

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Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Joined: 11 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 245

@michellebrown 

I love what you wrote! Very true words for all of us!

~Autumn

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Posts: 7792
(@aliceunderwire)
Illustrious Member     Near Burlington, Vermont, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Michelle,

Welcome to CDH.

Alice

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Posts: 6022
Hostess
(@fishingr8)
Illustrious Member     Montana, United States of America
Joined: 5 years ago

Hi Michelle so nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so look around and experience the  friendly girls here.. Such a wonderful intro girlfriend.. Now as a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. We all love a good old girly chat so don't be shy jump in when ever you feel the need or start your own thread about the life and times of Michelle have fun girlfriend and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..

Stephanie Bass

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Posts: 245
Guest
(@Anonymous 95235)
Estimable Member
Joined: 11 months ago

Hi Michelle! Welcome to CDH! It’s nice that you recognize who you are! Enjoy growing here with all these lovely ladies to help you!

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Posts: 675
Duchess
(@catherine0918)
Prominent Member     Henderson, Nevada, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Michelle!

Welcome to CDH!

An excellent introduction!

I think you will find the community helpful, encouraging and supportive.

Again, welcome to CDH!

Catherine

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Posts: 485
(@justnikki)
Prominent Member     Seattle, Washington, United States of America
Joined: 2 years ago

Welcome, Michelle! Such a powerful statement of self for an introduction, fantastic! 

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